Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Recommitment

We're at the end of another year.

It's time to look back at what we've done in the past year and look ahead at what we want to accomplish in the year ahead.

It's exciting...and scary.

It's exciting because we think about all of the possibilities for what we may be able to do next year. The sky's the limit, right?

It's scary because we know that we've felt that way in years past and our dreams or goals didn't turn out the way we hoped. Soon after the new year we got tired of the hard work or the uncertainty and we dropped back into status quo, the known, the comfortable.

I just want to encourage you as you think about the year ahead. Make big goals. Dream of doing something amazing and then write down some plans for how you're going to get there.

When something happens that throws you off course, don't despair and give up on whatever it is. Take a good look at what went wrong and then recommit.

A while back I told you about changing one little thing and how it helped me get out of bed when the alarm went off. Well, the last couple of mornings I somehow managed to s-t-r-e-t-c-h over and shut the alarm off without rolling out of bed. I slept a little more, but then I stayed in bed way too long, just chasing thoughts around in my head about things I dreaded doing, problems I wanted fixed, and the sadness of friends who had lost loved ones recently.

Lying there did nothing to help myself or anyone else. It just wasted a couple of hours in the day when I could have been getting something done, making plans to fix a problem, or reaching out to grieving friends.

I cannot give up on getting out of bed at a decent time. Instead, I need to recommit. I need to remember why I want to get up and get a good start on my day, and then I need to do it. I need to recommit.

Let's all plan to do that as we go into 2019.

When we start off strong and then falter. Recommit.

When we get discouraged because we're not reaching our goals fast enough. Recommit.

When we are tempted to ignore God and everything that will strengthen our relationship with Him. Recommit.

We don't have to wait until next January 1 if we get off track with our dreams and goals. We can choose recommitment the moment we realize we're wavering. It might have to happen weekly, or daily, or even hourly, but making that decision to recommit will make all the difference as we move forward.

Happy New Year, everyone!

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." (Psalm 37:5-6 NIV)

Do you get discouraged when you see yourself failing at times? How can focusing on God help you to recommit and move ahead?  

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on the Victory of Admitting Defeat

I attempted NaNoWriMo this month. Writing 50,000 words in the month of November is no small task. It's only 1,667 words per day, but when you skip a few days here and there and get behind it gets a little tricky.

I let that happen this year.

I wrote 20,000 words in one day a few years ago, so I think I was subconsciously planning to pull another one of those and win the thing in spite of getting behind.

Yesterday I wrote 4,519 words and got up to 34,018 by bedtime. I knew I would need to write 15,982 words today, but I figured I could do it, no problem.

But I still exercised this morning. I wrote a few thousand words. And then I went along with Gary to go out for lunch and visit someone this afternoon. I wrote a little more. And then we had Christmas program practice. I got home at six and considered attempting nonstop typing to get done, but I had a moment of clarity and decided to let it go this year. 

Instead, Gary and I went and enjoyed "The Grinch" at our local theater. We got home at nine and then I really accepted this year's loss. There was no way I could possibly finish by midnight.

 But even before we left to see the movie, I realized something. I think I just might be maturing.

In years past, I would have spent hours typing lots of nonsense just to get to the 50,000 words. I would have gotten upset if I had been interrupted, and I never would have spent time with my husband instead of reaching the goal.

So I'm declaring this year a victory!

The victory of admitting defeat.

We all have to do that sometimes. Maybe for you it isn't with writing. 

Maybe for you it's with some other project you hoped to have completed by a certain date.

Maybe for you it's with a relationship that you hoped to restore to what it was like years ago.

Maybe for you it's with getting physically fit. You skip exercising every once in a while or you keep overeating even though you know it's bad for you.

You have to admit defeat.

But can you admit that with a mature attitude instead of getting upset and pouting about it?

Can you see the strides you made while you worked on that project, that relationship, that exercise program?

Can you look at things objectively and make plans to take steps to finish your project even though it wasn't according to your original timetable?

Can you do something to improve that relationship just a little bit, or make the decision to let it go if necessary?

Can you renew your commitment to exercise a little more and eat a little healthier, knowing that those things will move you toward better health and fitness?

When we are mature, we'll admit when something isn't working and we'll change what we're doing so that we reach our goals and live a good life. (Maybe we'll even write 50,000 words earlier in the month instead of leaving it until the last few days of NaNoWriMo)

"Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20 NIV)

Are you able to admit defeat? How can focusing on God help you to do that with a mature attitude and move on from there?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on One Little Thing

I had trouble getting out of bed for a few months.

I would set the alarm for 6:30 every night, but when it rang in the morning I would reach over, shut it off, and remain in bed.

On a good day I would get up after a little while, by 6:45 or so.

On a "bad day" I would lie there, sleeping off and on until 8 or even 9:00. It wasn't that I was super tired. I got to bed at a reasonable time. I didn't feel especially depressed, but I just couldn't seem to get up. 

I tried to figure out if I was dreading something and how I could change my thoughts so I was more excited about getting up.

I gave myself stern pep talks the night before about how important it was to get out of bed and get the day started.

Nothing worked. My rising time was still sporadic and I felt like a failure because I couldn't seem to do what I said I wanted to do.

Finally, I changed one little thing and I have rolled out of bed for ten days straight at 6:30 a.m.

I moved my alarm clock to the far side of my bedside table.

Just that two feet change caused me to move enough so that I've gotten up every single day. I can't just reach out and turn off the alarm anymore. I have to stretch over and my feet touch the floor and I'm up.

I started thinking about other situations that might be changed by one little thing.

You don't read your Bible as often as you say you want to? Put it beside your place at the breakfast table or on the kitchen counter so you can open it and read a few verses as you eat or while you're waiting for something to cook. One little thing.

You feel like your relationship with a parent or a child or a sibling isn't as close as you'd like? Make a note on the calendar to call that person once a week instead of waiting until you think of it. One little thing.

You're tired of the clutter getting in your way in your home? Fill a box with items you no longer need or use and put it in the car so you can drop it off at Goodwill the next time you go that way. One little thing.

You never seem to get any closer to accomplishing your dreams or goals? Write down as much as you can about all of the steps necessary to complete the project and then write the first small step on your calendar. One little thing.

As we keep doing one little thing at a time, those little things will add up and soon we'll be in the habit of getting up on time, reading our bible regularly, having great relationships, keeping our lives free of clutter, and accomplishing our goals.

It all starts with one little thing.

"Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.[One little thing that led to the man's healing]" (John 5:8 NIV - brackets mine)

Do you have problems or frustrations that keep you stuck? How can focusing on God help you find one little thing you can do to get unstuck?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on the Messy Middle

I spent some time working on my book proposal this week. 

As I wrote, I soon realized something disturbing. It wasn't good. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say it sucked.

This realization made me want to close the file, shut the laptop, and go eat a handful of chocolate chips.

I'm in the messy middle, and it's not fun.

The messy middle is where we're tempted to give up on a dream or goal because we are faced with the reality of what it will actually take to accomplish what we want to do.

When we first set a goal, it's exciting. We think about how great it will be to write that book, lose that weight, make that money, learn that skill, or achieve whatever dream we have.

When we accomplish the goal, it's thrilling. I wrote the book! I lost the weight! I made the money! I learned the skill! I achieved my dream!

We often forget about the messy middle. The hours and hours we have to sit and write, rewrite, and edit our words before they become a book that is ready for readers. The cravings we have to ignore, the choices we have to make, and the exercise we need to put in before those pesky pounds are shed. The calls we have to make, the hard work we have to put in, and the sacrifices we have to make before we make the money, learn the skill, or achieve the dream.

It's hard, but it's absolutely necessary.

I'd even say the accomplishment of our goal or dream wouldn't be nearly as sweet without the hard work we chose to put in during the messy middle.

So I'll keep writing that book proposal. It will suck at first, but each hour I spend at it will hopefully make it better and better. Someday, it might even lead to a finished book about depression that will be an encouragement to many people.

That will be sweet, and worth every second of the messy middle.

  

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you tempted to give up when you're in the messy middle? How can focusing on God help you to work through that difficult time and accomplish your goals and dreams?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Focusing

Last Saturday I went to a Beth Moore simulcast event at another church in town.

As Beth had us flipping back and forth in our Bibles, exploring the theme, I realized that I had not done that for quite a while. We visited many verses throughout the day, and it felt good.

Toward the end, she said something I just had to write down in my notes: Maybe we don't know who we are because we've forgotten who He is.

"Bingo!" my heart cried. That's why I've been so restless and unsettled in recent months. (I suppose it could also be a six-hour move to a new city, but that's only part of it.) I've been listening to podcasts and reading books and watching YouTube videos, but I haven't been digging deep into the Bible on a regular basis. That's where my true guidance comes from. From God, through His word.

My brain has been jumping from one idea to another: Maybe I should become a full-time editor. No, maybe I should get busy writing those books I've been talking about. Should I write the book on anger? or the book on depression? I'm not angry or depressed anymore, maybe I need to pour my time into ministry at church. Oh, but faith is very important, I need to spend time growing spiritually!

And because I'm not focusing on any of those things, none of them get done.

As I looked for a verse about focus, I found this passage from Philippians 3:12-20 in The Message. Take a minute to read it and let it sink in (even better, go read the entire passage online, I left out bits and pieces here):

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But.... I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision-- you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.

Stick with me, friends....There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them.....All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street....all they can think of is their appetites.

But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven!"

                                                   (Philippians 3:12-20 The Message)

I think that's it. We need to keep focused on the goal, Jesus. It's not "easy street," but if we stay totally committed to Him I think the rest of life will fall into place more easily.

When our eyes (and our hearts) are darting around looking at every possibility and opportunity out there, we'll be confused, unfocused. But when we fix our eyes on Him (the author and perfecter of our faith) our path will become much more clear. We'll know which goals to focus on so that we get closer to Him and closer to the person He created us to be.

If I focus, maybe I'll even finish a book someday.

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you." (Proverbs 4:25 NIV)

Are you unfocused, looking around at way too many possibilities? How can focusing on God help you to see more clearly and know where to spend your time?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing It Scared

To make the time pass more quickly while I take my morning walks, I often listen to some great podcasts. 

Sometimes I listen to podcasts by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. 

Click here to find Brooke's podcasts.

She's super positive and has lots of advice for accomplishing the goals and dreams we all have.

After some of those, I click over to the Do It Scared podcast with Ruth Soukup.

 These really resonate with me and I listen to episode after episode, even after I get done walking. 

I've listened to quite a few this week as I've sat at my desk and thought about how I ought to be writing. 

Sure, the podcasts are inspiring. I've jotted down thoughts and ideas to spur me on toward my goals. I've listened as super-successful Ruth and her guests who have accomplished amazing things all admit that they are often scared, but they do it anyway.

I don't like to hear that, to be honest.

I'd like to think that once you become successful and accomplished at something, those scared feelings go away. To a certain extent, that may be true. When you do something over and over again, it gets easier, less scary. But Ruth and her guests all said that as they learned to do something and started out, they were scared.

I'm scared. Scared to write a book proposal. Scared to update my website. Scared to get to know new people. Scared to do lots of things.

And so I buffer (as Brooke Castillo would say). I grab a snack from the freezer or cupboard. I grab the ipad and play some games. I stare into space and worry about why I'm not getting anything done. I watch funny cat videos on YouTube. 

None of that gets me any closer to my dreams.

I have to do it scared. 

I have to break my goals into bite-sized pieces and work on completing them instead of buffering.

Maybe you have something you've been putting off because you're just so scared of the unknown. Write it down. Stare at that goal or dream. Write down some steps you can take to get a little closer to completing it. Put those steps on your calendar. Talk to a friend and ask her to check and see if you've done something to get you closer to your goal by the next time you talk.

I'm going to tell all of you a couple of steps I plan to take this week. 

I'm going to work on updating my website (at least the first page). You can hop over to robynmulder.com and check it out this weekend so you can see how much it changes by next Friday. Feel free to email if you have any comments or suggestions for content. (Are moms even angry anymore? I started the website back in 1997 - maybe I need to drop that tagline)

(Here's what my first page looks like today)

I'm also going to start working on a book proposal for the book about depression that has been in my head and on my heart for years now. I don't know how long that will take, so I'm going to schedule three hours for it into my week and see how far that gets me.

What are you going to do? Are you afraid? Let's do it anyway. 

Let's do it scared.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Are there things you've been putting off because you're afraid? How can focusing on God help you to do it scared?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Clean Refrigerators

Sometimes little things bug me. 

For weeks (months?) I was bothered whenever I opened my refrigerator. Milk had spilled on the bottom shelf and left a big yucky spot. Crumbs were all over. Other spills were visible when I took things out or put them in. It bugged me, but I didn't take the time to do anything about it.

One day this week I decided to take a few minutes and wipe out my fridge. I didn't even do a super thorough job. I just moved things around and wiped the shelves off with a wet cloth.

See? Doesn't it look great?

I was surprised by how good I felt every time I opened my fridge after that. Such a little thing brought me so much joy.

I began to think about other things that have been bugging me. Some of them are things that would only take a little while to get done and get off my "To Do" list and out of my head.

Others are bigger projects, but maybe I can break them down into bite-sized tasks and get some of them done.

We don't have to spend huge amounts of time working on one project. Doing things a little bit at a time is so much better than feeling overwhelmed and leaving everything until later.

I'm off to look at my clean fridge one more time, then I'll choose something to work on, even if it's just for a few minutes. That's the way to really get things done.

"Work hard and do not be lazy. Serve the LORD with a heart full of devotion. Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times." (Romans 12:11-12 Good News Translation)

Is there anything that has been really bugging you lately? What little thing can you do to make it look better or get closer to finishing a project? How can focusing on God give you wisdom about what things to work on and when to do them?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Setting Up For a New Year

I have a list of 10 things I wanted to do in 2016.

I completely accomplished three of my ten goals: I finished Italian on Duolingo, I itemized my credit card bills monthly, and I read the Bible all the way through.

I partly completed four of my other goals: I submitted some devotionals to Keys for Kids (and they were accepted!), I lost some of the pounds I wanted to shed, I worked on a nonfiction project, and I got a little better at push-ups.

I didn't do anything on the other three goals: I wanted to read The Power of a Praying Wife by March 1, I planned to make homemade Christmas cards by August 1, and I wanted to fast and pray for my family members one time a month.

I didn't do those three things because I never went back and looked at my list after I made it in January. I got into some habits that let me get some of my goals done, but I could have accomplished more if I had just reminded myself of what I wanted to do.

So, as we get ready to begin a new year, I want to remind all of us to take some time to set ourselves up for success. Know what you want to accomplish and review those goals often.

As for me, I think I'm cutting my list down to five for next year and I'm going to keep my list in front of me in January, February, March, and all through the year.

I'm going to set some goals, but be open to changing them or letting them go if God prompts me to focus on something else.

Most of all, I'm going to make sure I'm set up to focus completely on God as I live each day. With Him at the center, I'll accomplish everything He wants me to do. I'll be the woman He has made me to be.

That should make for a pretty good year.

"If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name," says the LORD Almighty, "I will send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not set your heart to honor me." (Malachi 2:2 NIV)

Did you accomplish all you wanted to do in 2016? How can focusing on God help you to set good goals and work toward them in 2017?

I promise I'll tell you more about the Grand Canyon trip one of these weeks!

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on What We're Moving Toward

Gary and I attended an event in Omaha on Thursday about Mental Health and the Church. It was put on by Fresh Hope (we facilitate a small group in Allison). It was a good day of hearing talks from Amy Simpson, Joe Padilla, and Pastor Brad Hoefs.

I enjoyed the day so much, but I was surprised to find myself getting kind of emotional toward the end of the event. Tears filled my eyes and I had to brush them away. I tried to figure out what was going on that was making me cry, but I was kind of stumped. 

I think it had to do with medicine at first. I started wondering if I should try going off my medicine (even though Fresh Hope strongly advocates for working with your doctors and staying on the medicines they prescribe), and then that kind of turned into negative feelings about the future. 

How silly to sit in the middle of an event focused on hope for those with a mental health challenge and start to lose that same hope. 

The Bible mentions hope over 120 times - that's a lot of hope!

Finally, my thoughts started to come back around when I heard Pastor Brad say something like this: "Focus on what you're moving toward, not what you're moving away from."

As you know, I love that word "focus." I realized what was going wrong in my thinking. I was focusing on the depression, the uncertainties of my mental health, the challenges of each day and what could go wrong.

Instead, I had to get my focus back where it belonged. I had to think about moving toward hope and a thriving life because Christ lives in me. 

We're more likely to hit the target if we're actually looking toward it instead of  behind us.

Maybe you're dealing with similar challenges as you read this. Can I urge you to focus on what you're moving toward instead of what you're moving away from?

Focus on little acts of kindness you can show toward your spouse that will bring you closer instead of focusing on how he (or she) has offended you or your own mistakes in communicating and relating.

Focus on small changes that will move you closer to a healthier, slimmer body instead of focusing on your tendency to overeat or what you look like in the mirror.

Focus on how much God loves you instead of focusing on how many times you've failed Him. (Another great quote from Thursday's event: "You're safe and you're enough.")

Focus on what you're moving toward instead of what you're moving away from. As for me, I'm going to keep moving toward hope.

"...one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal...." (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV)

Are you focused too much on what you're moving away from? How can focusing on God help you to move steadily ahead toward your goal?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Finding Dory

I helped teach preschoolers at VBS this week (more about that next Friday) so I'm going to stick with a childlike theme and focus on Finding Dory for this week's blog post. 

Gary and I headed down to Grundy Center with Allison and Dylan. They were considerably younger when they saw Finding Nemo, but I'm glad they still wanted to go see Finding Dory with us.

I was expecting a cute movie, and it didn't disappoint. There were lots of very funny moments and some that were so touching they almost made me cry.

This isn't a movie review, so I'll just jump to some spiritual lessons I was reminded of as I watched. Unconditional love, the importance of family, and dealing with a disability were all prominent themes in this story. 

I think the thing I came away with was the realization that we can do what we set our minds on doing. Sometimes it seems impossible, but with help from friends and a willingness to look at different ways to reach your goal, you can do it.

As someone who deals with depression, there are times when I succumb to the belief that "I won't ever be able to _________." You can fill in the blank with your own goals and aspirations here, but some of mine would be: "I won't ever be able to write a book...lose a little weight...do a push-up...get my house really organized."

None of those things are truly impossible. As I look at them I know what steps I need to take to accomplish them. My procrastination and anxiety might make it a little harder to do some of them, but with a little help from friends and family, I can do it. I also have the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit to urge me on and help me find my own way to accomplish those goals. I hope you have His help, too, as you seek to complete your own goals.

Oh, and if you go see Finding Dory, make sure you watch all the way through the ending credits. You'll be glad you did.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

Are there things in your life that seem impossible? Do you have problems that make it hard for you to get things done? How can focusing on God help you to find your own way to accomplish your goals, no matter how long it may take?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Goals

I set a couple of goals for myself in the last month or so, and I'm happy to report that I achieved them. I finished one project tonight, but I found myself thinking about that goal quite a few times today and I had a strange feeling about it.

I felt excited because I knew I was going to achieve my goal before the day was over, but I felt like the Holy Spirit was pointing something out to me even as I looked forward to my success. It seemed like He was telling me to make sure I wasn't making that achievement too important. 

I had this feeling that if something had happened to keep me from reaching the goal I had set for myself, I would have gotten extremely frustrated and my day would have been "ruined." God pointed out to me, gently, that His plans are more important than mine.

It's fine for us to set goals and make plans, but we must always be willing to let those goals and plans change if God shows us a different way, a better way. Truth be told, His way may not seem better until we get quite a bit farther down the road of life, but hindsight usually shows us that what we feared or struggled with was actually for our good.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the LORD's purpose prevails." (Proverbs 19:21 NIV) 

Do you like to set goals and make lots of plans? How can focusing on God and His plans help you to keep things in perspective as you work toward achieving your goals?