Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing It Scared

To make the time pass more quickly while I take my morning walks, I often listen to some great podcasts. 

Sometimes I listen to podcasts by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. 

Click here to find Brooke's podcasts.

She's super positive and has lots of advice for accomplishing the goals and dreams we all have.

After some of those, I click over to the Do It Scared podcast with Ruth Soukup.

 These really resonate with me and I listen to episode after episode, even after I get done walking. 

I've listened to quite a few this week as I've sat at my desk and thought about how I ought to be writing. 

Sure, the podcasts are inspiring. I've jotted down thoughts and ideas to spur me on toward my goals. I've listened as super-successful Ruth and her guests who have accomplished amazing things all admit that they are often scared, but they do it anyway.

I don't like to hear that, to be honest.

I'd like to think that once you become successful and accomplished at something, those scared feelings go away. To a certain extent, that may be true. When you do something over and over again, it gets easier, less scary. But Ruth and her guests all said that as they learned to do something and started out, they were scared.

I'm scared. Scared to write a book proposal. Scared to update my website. Scared to get to know new people. Scared to do lots of things.

And so I buffer (as Brooke Castillo would say). I grab a snack from the freezer or cupboard. I grab the ipad and play some games. I stare into space and worry about why I'm not getting anything done. I watch funny cat videos on YouTube. 

None of that gets me any closer to my dreams.

I have to do it scared. 

I have to break my goals into bite-sized pieces and work on completing them instead of buffering.

Maybe you have something you've been putting off because you're just so scared of the unknown. Write it down. Stare at that goal or dream. Write down some steps you can take to get a little closer to completing it. Put those steps on your calendar. Talk to a friend and ask her to check and see if you've done something to get you closer to your goal by the next time you talk.

I'm going to tell all of you a couple of steps I plan to take this week. 

I'm going to work on updating my website (at least the first page). You can hop over to robynmulder.com and check it out this weekend so you can see how much it changes by next Friday. Feel free to email if you have any comments or suggestions for content. (Are moms even angry anymore? I started the website back in 1997 - maybe I need to drop that tagline)

(Here's what my first page looks like today)

I'm also going to start working on a book proposal for the book about depression that has been in my head and on my heart for years now. I don't know how long that will take, so I'm going to schedule three hours for it into my week and see how far that gets me.

What are you going to do? Are you afraid? Let's do it anyway. 

Let's do it scared.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Are there things you've been putting off because you're afraid? How can focusing on God help you to do it scared?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing It Afraid

I'm in one of those seasons when God seems to be bringing a theme to my attention over and over. 

In blog posts, books, and Bible verses...I keep encountering the word "fear" and the idea of doing something even if you're afraid.

It has been fascinating (and scary) to notice how many times the topic has come up. When things like that happen, you know God is trying to get your attention.

This week I read one of the books that addressed the topic: Fearless: Free in Christ in an Age of Anxiety by Rachel Starr Thomson, Carolyn Currey, and Mercy Hope (1:11 Publishing, 2017)

I highly recommend it if you have any trouble at all with fear and anxiety holding you back from accomplishing the things you want to do in life.

Rachel and her friends explore the Parable of the Talents, as well as Bible characters like Joshua, Esther, Peter, and Gideon.

They admit that the dangers in life are real. We have no guarantees that something bad won't happen to us, but it's worth the risk to step out in faith.

Fear can be displaced by trust in God and by His love.

Here are a couple of quotes toward the end of the book to inspire you:

"We've been trying to open your eyes to the value you bring to the world, the call upon your life to be consecrated wholly to God, and the love God has for you. These truths are the reason to overcome fear, the reason to 'do it afraid.' 

It's all worth it, because God's purposes for you are more significant than you can imagine."

I love that last line. Too often I hold back because I'm afraid of what might happen if I try something new, but God has great purposes for me. Purposes more significant than I can imagine. I have a pretty good imagination, so it's exciting to wonder what God really has in store!

"Fear will do everything it can to stop you from realizing God's promises. It will try to surround your life with walls that keep you shut down and shut in, with your talents buried and your view of yourself limited to 'I am nothing but a grasshopper, and everyone else must know it.' It will create an alternate reality and wear you out with cares and the exhaustion that is a divided mind."

Do you feel shut in and surrounded by walls that keep you doing the same old things every day? The comfortable things? The easy things? I often do.

It's time to break free from those walls built by fear and step out in faith to new places.

We need to remember the foundation of a fearless life: The Lord Will Be with You (as summarized by Rachel, Carolyn, and Mercy).

If we remember that He is with us, we can do pretty much anything, even if we're afraid.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Are your fears holding you back from fulfilling God's purposes for your life? How can focusing on God and His love for you help you to move forward and "do it afraid"?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Being Alone

I'm at our daughter Erin's house as I write this week. I came down on Wednesday with our other daughter, Allison. On Thursday I drove her to Kansas City so she can spend a few days at WorldCon and enjoy some time with twitter friends, assorted authors, publishers, and many science fiction fans.

I was pretty excited about the chance to get away and have some alone time before I came a couple of days ago. I dragged along multiple projects to work on since I knew Erin would be working at school during the day as she gets ready to teach next week.

I have been working on things, but I was really surprised to find myself lonely on Thursday afternoon. I hadn't even had a full day to myself and I was missing my husband and my kids. Of course, I love them, but I figured I would really revel in the alone time for at least a couple of days before heading back to life as usual.

This couldn't apply to me, could it? :-)

It got me thinking about others who live alone every day. I have friends who are widows and widowers. Blake will live alone in his dorm room this year. Erin lives alone here in Shenandoah. Some of my friends are single adults. I find myself wondering how lonely they are. 

In my situation this week, I at least have the comfort that Erin will come home from working at school and we can spend some time together before the day is over. Other people have no one coming home at night. It must be a hard life.

Moms who live at home with a husband and one or more children can sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of the demands on their time, but this little break is helping me to be thankful for what I have. I love my husband and kids, they are gifts from God that add richness to my life.

For those who live alone, I think it must be very important for them to be deliberate about connecting with others. It would be nice if people reached out to them, but it's probably even more important for them to reach out when they're lonely. They can call other single people, call family members, join clubs, attend a church where they can build good relationships with others.

Most of all, remember this:

Jesus is with us every second of every day. When we start to feel lonely (and I think many people can even feel that way in the middle of a crowd) we need to remember that God loves us and He's with us.

I'm heading back home on Sunday, but I'll cherish the "lonely" times I've had this week as they've taught me to recognize God's presence with me. 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Do you ever feel lonely?How can focusing on God help you to feel better and give you ideas for reconnecting with Him and with others?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Letting Go

And then there were three.

In the course of about two weeks we're going from a family six living in our house to a little group of three. Poor Dylan. Outnumbered by his parents for the next three years until he, too, goes off to college.

Two weeks ago we dropped Erin off at the airport for her semester in Germany. She's working at a military base doing daycare, working with infants. Last weekend we took Blake to Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa for his freshman year of college. He's going to be studying computer science. On Sunday we will take Allison to Chicago for her semester internship with Easter Seals. She'll be working in the Willis Tower.

I've had lots of emotions bouncing around in me over the last month or so. I'm excited for all three of my college age children. I'm praying for them and I can't wait to see what God does in their lives as they finish/begin college and get out into the working world. I'm also nervous for them. I know what a scary world this can be at times. I know what a cruel place it can sometimes be. I know that things don't always go the way you plan and I know that many times they will be disappointed by their own failings and the failings of others.

I wish I could clear a path for them, hold their hands and walk with them, reassure them that everything is going to be fine when the bad times come. But I can't do that. Even if I could, it wouldn't be healthy for me or for them. Parents raise their children so that they eventually move out and live on their own. Parents are supportive but they can't handicap their children by hovering and helping too much. We've done the best we can and there comes a time when our children need to leave the nest and learn to do things on their own.

Hopefully we have been diligent about showing our children what it means to have a relationship with God. Even if they stray for a time, we pray that they will come back and grow in their own relationship with God and we know that that is what will really help our children thrive in life. God is the only One who can be there constantly for our children. He will guide them, comfort them, challenge them, and protect them.

It's time for me to practice letting go. It's time for me to trust that God has each of my children and He'll never let them go. It's time for me to focus on supporting my children, but not stress out so much about whether I've done everything right (or wrong) and prepared them well for what life will bring. Anything I forgot to tell them, they can get from Google, anyway.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go [and wherever your children go]." (Joshua 1:9 ESV - brackets mine)

Are you letting go of a college age child this fall? How can focusing on God help you to make that transition well and move forward trusting that God will be there for your child when you can't be?