Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Reruns

Do you like reruns?

We usually like new things better than a repeat of something we've seen or done before, but there is value in reruns.

Reruns can show us something we missed when we saw it the first time.

Reruns can introduce someone to something they weren't even around to enjoy the first time it was produced.

Reruns can seem brand new when you get old enough to forget the first time you saw it. (We've been watching some of the Marvel movies recently and I'm amazed at how often I don't know what's going to happen next, even though I know we've watched the movie before.)

So I'm going to do a sort of "rerun" for my blog post this week. 

If you're feeling like me, you're maybe a bit stressed about all that has to get done before Christmas arrives on Tuesday.

Last Sunday I sang my "It Is Well" Christmas Stress Song in church. I wrote it for Gary five years ago and he asked me to sing it for our new congregation. 

It's a good reminder for all of us as we prepare for that special day. Gifts, cards, and meals are all good, but the most important thing to focus on is Jesus. Keeping him first in our minds and hearts can help us put things in perspective and bring a little more peace into our lives during this busy time.

I'll keep this short for those of you that have heard me sing it recently, but I'll print the words below and include a link so you can see me when I sang it for the first time back in Allison, Iowa in 2013.

Merry Christmas to you all!

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6 NIV)

Are you stressed out about Christmas? How can focusing on God help you to feel more peace in the days ahead?

"It Is Well" Christmas Stress Song (by Robyn Mulder)

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

"It is well, it is well with my soul"

It is well (it is well), with my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well with my soul

(to the tune of "Good Christian Men, Rejoice")

Christmas is almost here

I tremble with great fear

Cards aren't mailed and gifts aren't wrapped

I think I'll have a heart attack

Have to make that great big meal

And stress and strain are all I feel

I can hardly say... I can hardly say...

It is well, it is well with my soul

I have to change my attitude

Change it to one of gratitude

Set aside the things undone

And focus on the only one

Jesus Christ the newborn king

Is more than all these other things

I can almost say...  I can almost say...

It is well, it is well with my soul

I think my Christmas joy will start

I feel a peace within my heart

Gifts and food are good to give

But this is how we really live

Giving thanks for everything

Now my heart can truly sing

Christ is born today...  Christ is born today

(to the tune of "It is Well with My Soul")

When Christmas is coming and my stress level climbs

Let this be the thought that controls

The babe in the manger was born for these times

And his life was lived here for our souls

It is well (it is well), with my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well with my soul

*Here's a link to the song on Youtube.

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Thanks

I feel like keeping this week's post short and sweet.

We've just celebrated Thanksgiving and now we almost feel forced into the Christmas season with Black Friday sales and Christmas carols on the radio.

Maybe we need to linger a bit longer in that attitude of thanksgiving. In that vein, I thought I'd list a few things I'm thankful for here, and I invite you to share some of your own in the comments (or at least ponder them in your own heart for a while).

I'm thankful for:

God (who provided His love and all of the other people and things on this list)

My family (Gary and our children, but also each one of our extended family members)

Friends (I often say that I can't imagine my life without each person God has brought into our lives as we've moved over the years)

This beautiful world (We love to travel and explore its many wonders)

(taken this October in Canada)

The hardships I've had to go through (Yes, I'm even thankful for those times, because they helped shape me into who I am today)

The future (With all of its many possibilities and surprises)

It's good for our mental health to practice gratitude, so let's not forget to do that each and every day.

So grateful for each of you, ~Robyn

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." (Psalm 107:1 NIV)

Are you thankful for everything in your life? How can focusing on God help you to be grateful every day?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Fear

My mom had an encounter with a black bear recently.

Oh, don't worry. She's okay, but it got me thinking about fear this week.

Mom and Dad were watching TV one night in their house in the middle of the woods in Tennessee.

"John, there's something on the deck!"

Dad got up and turned on the outside light, only to reveal a 150-pound black bear helping himself to the goodies in their bird feeder.

While Dad ran to get the camera, Mom walked up to the patio door and knocked loudly. "Hey, get out of there!" she scolded. 

Why not? It always worked for the squirrels and raccoons that tried to steal from their feeder.

The bear turned and looked at her, then went headfirst over the deck railing. He was in no hurry at all, but he left.

Mom and I laughed about this as we talked on the phone, but it could have ended much differently.

At the time, Dad pointed out that the bear easily could have stuck a furry paw through the patio door. Luckily, that didn't happen.

I've chuckled a few times as I've thought about my fearless mother shooing a big black bear away. I tend to think that she might have reacted a bit differently if my dad had not been there. I wonder if his presence gave her more courage in that scary situation.

Now, I'm not in any way trying to compare my dear father to God, but I can't help but think about each of us and the fears we face each day. 

Illness.

Frustrations at work.

Relationship problems.

Our own shortcomings.

Death.

There are big, scary things out there, and on our own we might be terrified.

When we remember that God is with us, we find the courage we need to face all of our fears.

They might not go away as quickly as my mom's black bear, but we can give it a shot.

"Hey, get out of here!"

And even if the problem doesn't go away, we have God right beside us while we watch what happens.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." (Psalm 56:3 NIV)

Are you often afraid? How can remembering that God is with you help you to face those fears with more courage?

*Note: The bear in my blog graphic above is not my mom's black bear. He left before Dad could get a picture.

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on the Messy Middle

I spent some time working on my book proposal this week. 

As I wrote, I soon realized something disturbing. It wasn't good. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say it sucked.

This realization made me want to close the file, shut the laptop, and go eat a handful of chocolate chips.

I'm in the messy middle, and it's not fun.

The messy middle is where we're tempted to give up on a dream or goal because we are faced with the reality of what it will actually take to accomplish what we want to do.

When we first set a goal, it's exciting. We think about how great it will be to write that book, lose that weight, make that money, learn that skill, or achieve whatever dream we have.

When we accomplish the goal, it's thrilling. I wrote the book! I lost the weight! I made the money! I learned the skill! I achieved my dream!

We often forget about the messy middle. The hours and hours we have to sit and write, rewrite, and edit our words before they become a book that is ready for readers. The cravings we have to ignore, the choices we have to make, and the exercise we need to put in before those pesky pounds are shed. The calls we have to make, the hard work we have to put in, and the sacrifices we have to make before we make the money, learn the skill, or achieve the dream.

It's hard, but it's absolutely necessary.

I'd even say the accomplishment of our goal or dream wouldn't be nearly as sweet without the hard work we chose to put in during the messy middle.

So I'll keep writing that book proposal. It will suck at first, but each hour I spend at it will hopefully make it better and better. Someday, it might even lead to a finished book about depression that will be an encouragement to many people.

That will be sweet, and worth every second of the messy middle.

  

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you tempted to give up when you're in the messy middle? How can focusing on God help you to work through that difficult time and accomplish your goals and dreams?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Dreams

I don't try to find meaning in every dream I have.

Some are interesting and some are just plain goofy.

Half the time, I forget my dreams before I even get to the breakfast table.

But every once in a while, I have a dream that I remember vividly when I wake up, and I feel the need to record it so I can analyze it a little more and see if my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

That happened last night. 

I was dreaming some strange things, it's true (giant fish that were eating lots of things they weren't supposed to eat, children that were behaving badly, sightings of childhood friends and old crushes, among other things). All of that blurred together, but part of the dream got clearer. I saw a group of three glitzy singers. One of them suddenly announced that she was going to do something new, and she launched into a Francesca Battistelli song, giving it a new latino flair. She encouraged the other two singers to follow her lead and they wowed the crowd with their rendition.

I lost sight of the girls and dealt with the giant fish problem for a while, but then I saw them standing in a doorway. I went over and raved about how much I liked their version of the song, until I started to doubt myself and trailed off uncertainly. I looked around, then looked back at them and said, "Oh wait, you're not the singers, are you? Sorry, I must have gotten confused and you just look a little like them." I got all embarrassed and looked for a chance to escape.

One of the women, the one who started the spicy version of Francesca's song, stopped me and assured me that I had the right group. She put her hands on each side of my face and told me earnestly, "I'm not going to be someone who wandered out of her debut."

I uttered back, with tear-filled eyes, "That's who I've been so far."

That's it. The dream didn't go any further and I woke up. I almost went back to sleep, but I knew those words would be gone forever if I drifted back to dreamland.

So I started repeating them to myself, and I kept it up until I could get to a pad of paper in the kitchen. I scribbled the lines down and then went back to bed for a little while. 

I don't know exactly what that dream meant, but I have a feeling God will show me if I take some time to think about it.

My first thoughts go to my writing, as they often do. I'm afraid my subconscious may be pointing out that I'm continuing to "wander" away from my calling to write. God is giving me ideas and the desire to share things with a wider audience, but I find lots of activities and excuses that keep me from accomplishing any projects.

Wandering out of my debut...that's who I've been so far.

Sounds like a good wake-up call for this aspiring author. 

Either that or I ate too much right before bed. Who knows?

"The king asked Daniel..., "Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?" Daniel replied, "No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries." (Daniel 2:26-28a NIV)

Have you ever had a dream that seemed to have a special message for you? How can focusing on God help you to discern what He wants to show you through the things you sometimes dream?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Hospitality

As we begin our time here in Platte, one of the goals Gary and I have is to visit with as many members as possible in these first months of ministry. 

Some people choose to come to the church office for a visit (and that is just fine), but most have been graciously allowing us to come to their homes so we can get to know them better.

There is something special about sitting down with someone in their living room or at their kitchen table as we converse. We find out about their families and past experiences and tell them a bit about us and our family. We talk about church and the community. We find out about past hurts and present concerns. We come away from the visit with a greater sense of connection.

Gary does most of the talking during these visits, but I enjoy them, too. As I listen, my eyes dart around the room and take in the decorations and design of each home. It's fun to see what people collect and what is special to them. Many display photos of their family members and point out their children and grandchildren to us. 

As we've made many visits the last couple of weeks, my mind has gone back to the visits we made in Chandler, MN and Allison, IA when we first started to serve there. I remember hearing people's stories and struggling to remember names at first...but it wasn't long before those unfamiliar names were very familiar and the faces that went with them were very dear to us.

That's what happens when people show hospitality. It can happen at church during fellowship time when someone takes the time to sit and connect with someone else, but I think it happens best when we open our homes to each other. Sitting down to chat over a cup of coffee, or conversing during a delicious meal can make stronger connections between friends.

I wish I had done more of that back in our other two churches. I loved the people, and I hope they felt that, but I'd like to be more deliberate about hospitality in the years ahead.

I was too worried about how clean the house looked or if I had enough energy to make an impressive meal for someone. I'm starting to realize that those things aren't as important. A relatively clean house and a simple meal served with love can bless someone and encourage them in whatever they're going through.

I hope we can be more deliberate about showing hospitality in the years ahead. I'm going to try to invite people over more often as we enjoy life here. 

Don't be afraid to invite yourself over, either. I'll try to do my housekeeping on time, but if you see a little dust, let's just agree not to mention it (and please don't write in it!).

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." (1 Peter 4:8-9 NIV)

Do you enjoy showing hospitality? How can focusing on God help you to cheerfully invite people over and share life with them?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on NOT Going Crazy

I don't have time to write this.

Dylan graduates tomorrow and we move a week from Tuesday.

I was feeling pretty good most of the day...

Cook a little.

Pack a little.

Go to an open house (we had three today).

Repeat all day long.

Later this afternoon, I started to hit a wall. More than a wall even. It was that slippery slope that could send me over the edge if I'm not careful.

I started to entertain thoughts like these:

I'm a terrible mother. If I were a good mother, I would have ____________. (bought more party decorations, found more cute pictures of Dylan, made Erin's and Blake's favorite meals since they're home for the weekend, etc., etc., etc.)

We've lived here almost nine years. Why haven't I ___________ before now? (gotten rid of our old homeschooling supplies, finished my craft projects, made that jean quilt, shredded our old financial records, etc., etc., etc.)

On the good side, I recognized these negative thoughts right away and chose not to dwell on them.

I've been teetering on the edge a bit, but I don't have to go over if I remind myself of some positive truths from the Bible:

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." (Psalm 116:7 NIV)

"Cast all your anxiety on him, for he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

I had to write tonight because I need those reminders. Maybe you do, too.

Let's keep our sanity by turning quickly to God when life gets stressful and super busy. He can keep our minds in the right place as we do the best we can with whatever event we're getting ready for. 

I know Dylan's party will go fine, especially if I stay relaxed and enjoy visiting with the family and friends that come to wish him well.

I know our move will happen next week, and it will go better if I can work hard but not get upset if things don't go exactly the way I'd like. 

Getting enough sleep helps us keep our sanity, too, so I'll say good night for now and write again next Friday.

"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves." (Psalm 127:2 NIV)

Do you have any big events coming up that threaten to drive you crazy? How can focusing on God help you to do your best and not get upset if everything isn't perfect?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Moving

We will be moving from Allison, IA to Platte, SD on May 29. People, that's about 17 days from today!

It seemed like we had plenty of time when Gary announced that he had accepted the call a couple of months ago. 

I was going to sort through clothes, papers, and belongings and get rid of anything we didn't need before hauling it six hours west. We've gotten rid of some things, but we're quickly losing time for thoughtfully going through things. It's time to pack...and sort later.

It really started to sink in when we took down most of our pictures and loaded them in the Mariner. The walls look so bare now!

We loaded our small trailer with exercise equipment, bikes, boat stuff, and other things to fill it up. Then I drove with the trailer and Gary drove his '78 Camaro to Platte so we could get one load out there. 

It felt strange to leave it all there, but it felt right, too. We reconnected with several people from First Reformed Church and felt that sense of excitement about what God has in store for us (and them) in the future. 

We went to Orange City today to move Blake from his dorm room to a third floor apartment across campus.

Sometime next week we'll be moving Allison's things down to Lincoln, Nebraska. She'll be staying with Erin until she finds a job, then we'll move her to her own apartment later in the summer.

That's a lot of moving!

We know we'll get through it. We just need to take it one step at a time.

Make decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of. Pack a box. Keep on top of other daily tasks while preparing for the move. Get ready for Dylan's graduation open house and try to enjoy all of these final days with our church family and community before leaving.

Above all else, we need to stay close to God through all of this. Our relationship with Him is not something to put on hold until we get settled in our new community. 

We need to open our Bibles often, talk to God as we go through each day, and obey the Spirit's leading in everything we do.

That's something for all of us to keep in mind, whether we're making a physical move or just starting a new endeavor in our lives. 

One step at a time. Stay close to God. Trust Him. Read His word. Talk to Him. Obey Him.

If we all do that, we'll get to where He wants us to go.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV)

Are you facing a move in your future? How can focusing on God help you to get there with less stress and more confidence in the "new thing" He has planned for you?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on FAMILY

Robyn, Jill, and Johnna Start - Christmas 1974

Family.

They can drive you crazy. I mean, other people's families can drive them crazy. Not mine, of course.

There are all kinds of joys and sorrows associated with our immediate families (our spouse and children).

Things get even more complicated when we branch out to our family of origin (our parents and siblings).

I got to spend some time with my parents and one of my sisters this week.

Johnna is the littlest girl in the picture above. I'm the oldest. (Poor Jill is in the middle - I'll focus on her some other week.) Johnna lives in Tennessee. She and her husband Steve own Smoky Mountain Llama Treks.

Check them out if you get down near Pigeon Forge, TN - the llamas are so interesting to watch and Steve does a great job leading hikes and showing people the llamas.

We were able to see Johnna and her family several times while we were visiting my parents. 

We went over to see Cassidy before she left for her prom. She looked beautiful and so grown up. As she left with one of her friends, I realized that she hardly knows us.

This was taken in 2016: Zach, Johnna, Steve, and Cassidy

We got to see Zach and his girlfriend Brittany a couple of times. (They're getting married on May 27!) It was fun to hear Zach's southern accent and see Brittany's little boy show off for all of us - such a cutie! As I watched my nephew, I had that same feeling...he doesn't really know us.

We've always lived far away from my family (except for three  years while Gary was in seminary in Michigan). I guess that's one of the disadvantages of distance. Everyone gets busy with their own lives and we don't get to know family members as well as when we live close by and see them often.

Even riding around with my sister, it was kind of surreal. She's nothing like the quiet, cute little sister I grew up with. (She's still cute! That's not what I meant, Johnna!) She's confident driving around all of those curves on those Tennessee roads. She talks about her friends and family and you can tell she loves them fiercely. 

I learned things about my niece and nephew that I should have known long ago, but I never called to ask. 

She told me about a time this winter when Cassidy was driving to Zach's house on an icy road. She was about a half a mile from his place, talking on the phone with him as she crept along, when her car slid into the ditch. When she screamed, Zach dropped his phone and ran to her. (She was fine and the car was, too. They started walking to his place, then someone gave them a ride.)

That touched me so much. Johnna and Steve must be doing something right if their kids love each other that much. I feel kind of sad that I'm missing out on their lives. (And Jill's kids in Michigan, too.)

Maybe you feel that way, too. 

Distance is hardly an excuse anymore for not getting to know our family members. With texting and video chats, we can check in with parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews. At first it might be a little awkward, but it could turn out to be something meaningful for you and your family member.

Maybe you live close, but there's an emotional distance between you and a sibling for some reason. Perhaps it's time to have that difficult conversation and clear things up so you can have a better relationship. That could be awkward, too, but it could result in something wonderful.

I'm so glad I got to spend a little time with Johnna this week...and I hope I didn't drive her too crazy.

"Love one another with brotherly [or sisterly] affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (Romans 12:10 ESV)

Are you close with your family members or is there some physical (or even emotional) distance there? How can focusing on God help you to make an effort to connect more often and show love to your family members?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Moving On

Gary made a big announcement in church last Sunday.

He's accepted a call to First Reformed Church in Platte, South Dakota.

Our time here at Trinity Reformed Church in Allison, Iowa is not over yet. We'll be here til the end of May, but we are definitely entering a time of transition.

It's time to start packing boxes. Time to give things away, sell a few things, and even throw away some stuff. It's time to move on.

Moving on is an expected part of being in ministry, but it's always difficult.

The excitement of going to a new church and community is tempered by some sadness about leaving a church and community we've grown to love.

So why do we do it? Why go through the hard work of moving and the pain of leaving friends behind?

It's because God leads us. He has plans for us and for the church we will be serving. None of us knows what those plans are yet, but we can trust Him.

The easiest thing would be to stay in one place for years and years (and I know some ministers do feel called to that), but the best thing is to stay open to moving on when God calls.

All of us can live that way. 

You may not be a pastor, but you can stay open to going where God wants you to go. 

Maybe that will mean a cross-country move to start a new job. 

Maybe it will mean a trip overseas to do mission work. 

Maybe it will mean staying right where you are physically, but you'll find it's time to move on from something that's been holding you back emotionally or spiritually.

Who knows? God does.

He loves you and He has great plans for your life. Think of the adventures you'll have as you stay open to moving on with Him.  

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." (Psalm 32:8 NIV)

Are you open to moving on when God calls? How can focusing on God help you to follow Him wherever He leads?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Unhealthy Helping

This is a tough one to write.

I'm afraid I'll be misunderstood. (It's inevitable because I hardly understand it myself.)

"Normal" people will not understand this problem because they have healthy boundaries and a good sense of self-worth. They can stop reading right now because this week's post will not apply to them.

For the rest of you, I'm hoping this post will help all of us get to more healthy ways of helping others.

I had a long day yesterday.

I went down to our church daycare a little before 6:00 a.m. because we had gotten quite a bit of snow overnight. I wanted to be there to help get the day started and assess the situation with staff and kids.

I waded down there through the unplowed street and then up the unplowed parking lot. Our faithful opener had gotten a ride from her son, so she was already there getting ready for whatever the day held.

School was going to be two hours late, and later they cancelled it completely.

We didn't have many kids scheduled, so I called one staff person not to come and told another not to come when she called to check on the situation. Some kids didn't come at all, but we got a couple of extra ones because of the snow day.

I called another staff member who lived in town and had her come to help our opener. I settled in with the two children we had in the infants room. 

At 2:00 both of my kids had gone home, so I moved over to the Lions room so our opener could go home. After helping with snack time, the other staff person and her son went home, leaving me with six kids for the rest of the day.

It never occurred to me to ask someone else to come in and close. I just figured they deserved a snow day and a nice day at home. I didn't mind staying. (I really didn't!) We played Uno for a while and found other things to play with until all of the kids went home. I cleaned up a few things after they left, but our daughter Erin called while I was still there and she expressed shock that I had worked almost twelve hours that day - for free!

When I hung up from talking to her, I realized how beat I was and I left a few things undone and headed for home. I made supper and watched part of the opening ceremony for the olympics until I started nodding off, so I headed for bed.

Of course, I went back to the daycare today for a little while and finished my cleaning because I'm a responsible person, you know.

(Are you "normal" people still reading? I beg you not to judge me or write me off as some crazy person. I swear I'm in my right mind...I just have some problems with boundaries and "unhealthy helping.")

I had already been thinking about this topic for the last couple of weeks.

I like volunteering at the daycare - most of the time. 

I started doing it because the daycare was a little shaky financially and I could help by volunteering some time in the office and the rooms.

I kept doing it even after they got more stable financially and I pushed aside the offer to start paying me. I wanted to keep doing what I could to make the daycare's finances work well and I didn't want the pressure of being a paid staff person.

As a volunteer, I wasn't locked into a certain number of hours on the schedule each week (even though I averaged about nineteen hours a week in 2017).

It felt good to be such a big help to the daycare. I felt needed and important because I could fill in when they needed me. It was really fun at first to organize things in the office and keep track of records and stuff.

As time went by, it wasn't as much fun. I saw myself not getting certain things done and I felt bad because the records weren't in perfect order and I made mistakes sometimes. In other people's eyes I was doing fine, but in my own I was falling short.

I kept doing the job, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. Sometimes I would feel resentful that I was putting in so many hours, even though I'm the one who scheduled myself or said yes when someone needed a day off.

I started using the daycare as an excuse for not getting other things done at home. (housework, my writing projects, etc.)

I still heard "thank you" from other staff members and the board, but I also heard a couple of people express concern about the number of hours I was working. I wondered how many people thought I was just a wimp for working so much as a volunteer.

Like I said, I hardly understand all of this myself, but this week's post is an attempt to start to unravel it. I want to help and serve from a healthy, truly generous heart (and most days I do!) but I'm realizing that I've gotten to an unhealthy level of giving that needs to change in the weeks ahead.

The other staff are competent, caring, and conscientious. They don't "need" me as much as I sometimes think they do. It's time to back out to a healthier level and make sure I'm caring for myself and other things God has called me to do.

I've listed (after this post) a couple of online articles and a book I think I'm going to read soon as I continue to explore this topic and learn to help in healthy ways.

Helping isn't bad - we just have to make sure it's coming from a healthy place.
  
"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)

Do you help in healthy or unhealthy ways? How can focusing on God help you to get to a healthier place if you tend to give too much?

"10 Signs That You Are Giving Too Much of Yourself" (from Amanda Itzkoff on www.linkedin.com)

"12 Signs That You're Giving Too Much" (from Shawn Burn, PhD on www.psychologytoday.com)

A book I plan to read soon: "Unhealthy Helping" by Shawn Burn, PhD