Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing It Scared

To make the time pass more quickly while I take my morning walks, I often listen to some great podcasts. 

Sometimes I listen to podcasts by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. 

Click here to find Brooke's podcasts.

She's super positive and has lots of advice for accomplishing the goals and dreams we all have.

After some of those, I click over to the Do It Scared podcast with Ruth Soukup.

 These really resonate with me and I listen to episode after episode, even after I get done walking. 

I've listened to quite a few this week as I've sat at my desk and thought about how I ought to be writing. 

Sure, the podcasts are inspiring. I've jotted down thoughts and ideas to spur me on toward my goals. I've listened as super-successful Ruth and her guests who have accomplished amazing things all admit that they are often scared, but they do it anyway.

I don't like to hear that, to be honest.

I'd like to think that once you become successful and accomplished at something, those scared feelings go away. To a certain extent, that may be true. When you do something over and over again, it gets easier, less scary. But Ruth and her guests all said that as they learned to do something and started out, they were scared.

I'm scared. Scared to write a book proposal. Scared to update my website. Scared to get to know new people. Scared to do lots of things.

And so I buffer (as Brooke Castillo would say). I grab a snack from the freezer or cupboard. I grab the ipad and play some games. I stare into space and worry about why I'm not getting anything done. I watch funny cat videos on YouTube. 

None of that gets me any closer to my dreams.

I have to do it scared. 

I have to break my goals into bite-sized pieces and work on completing them instead of buffering.

Maybe you have something you've been putting off because you're just so scared of the unknown. Write it down. Stare at that goal or dream. Write down some steps you can take to get a little closer to completing it. Put those steps on your calendar. Talk to a friend and ask her to check and see if you've done something to get you closer to your goal by the next time you talk.

I'm going to tell all of you a couple of steps I plan to take this week. 

I'm going to work on updating my website (at least the first page). You can hop over to robynmulder.com and check it out this weekend so you can see how much it changes by next Friday. Feel free to email if you have any comments or suggestions for content. (Are moms even angry anymore? I started the website back in 1997 - maybe I need to drop that tagline)

(Here's what my first page looks like today)

I'm also going to start working on a book proposal for the book about depression that has been in my head and on my heart for years now. I don't know how long that will take, so I'm going to schedule three hours for it into my week and see how far that gets me.

What are you going to do? Are you afraid? Let's do it anyway. 

Let's do it scared.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Are there things you've been putting off because you're afraid? How can focusing on God help you to do it scared?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Dreams

I don't try to find meaning in every dream I have.

Some are interesting and some are just plain goofy.

Half the time, I forget my dreams before I even get to the breakfast table.

But every once in a while, I have a dream that I remember vividly when I wake up, and I feel the need to record it so I can analyze it a little more and see if my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

That happened last night. 

I was dreaming some strange things, it's true (giant fish that were eating lots of things they weren't supposed to eat, children that were behaving badly, sightings of childhood friends and old crushes, among other things). All of that blurred together, but part of the dream got clearer. I saw a group of three glitzy singers. One of them suddenly announced that she was going to do something new, and she launched into a Francesca Battistelli song, giving it a new latino flair. She encouraged the other two singers to follow her lead and they wowed the crowd with their rendition.

I lost sight of the girls and dealt with the giant fish problem for a while, but then I saw them standing in a doorway. I went over and raved about how much I liked their version of the song, until I started to doubt myself and trailed off uncertainly. I looked around, then looked back at them and said, "Oh wait, you're not the singers, are you? Sorry, I must have gotten confused and you just look a little like them." I got all embarrassed and looked for a chance to escape.

One of the women, the one who started the spicy version of Francesca's song, stopped me and assured me that I had the right group. She put her hands on each side of my face and told me earnestly, "I'm not going to be someone who wandered out of her debut."

I uttered back, with tear-filled eyes, "That's who I've been so far."

That's it. The dream didn't go any further and I woke up. I almost went back to sleep, but I knew those words would be gone forever if I drifted back to dreamland.

So I started repeating them to myself, and I kept it up until I could get to a pad of paper in the kitchen. I scribbled the lines down and then went back to bed for a little while. 

I don't know exactly what that dream meant, but I have a feeling God will show me if I take some time to think about it.

My first thoughts go to my writing, as they often do. I'm afraid my subconscious may be pointing out that I'm continuing to "wander" away from my calling to write. God is giving me ideas and the desire to share things with a wider audience, but I find lots of activities and excuses that keep me from accomplishing any projects.

Wandering out of my debut...that's who I've been so far.

Sounds like a good wake-up call for this aspiring author. 

Either that or I ate too much right before bed. Who knows?

"The king asked Daniel..., "Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?" Daniel replied, "No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries." (Daniel 2:26-28a NIV)

Have you ever had a dream that seemed to have a special message for you? How can focusing on God help you to discern what He wants to show you through the things you sometimes dream?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Good Conduct

This has been a tough week for all of us. I don't feel like I can focus on anything but the current political situation in our country, but I don't feel smart enough or brave enough to attempt a detailed analysis of what has been going on.

My heart hurts over the division we are seeing in our country. No matter who you voted for on Tuesday, you're probably experiencing some uncertainty about what the future holds. I just want to remind you: If you're a Christian then you have many reasons to have hope for the future. God is sovereign and He has everything under control.

So for this week, I'd like to focus on good conduct. So many people are expressing their feelings with hurtful, hateful words toward those who don't agree with them. "My brothers and sisters, this should not be!" (James 3:9-10)

At Fresh Hope this week we talked about a topic called "The 4 Conducts" from Fresh Hope's topic cards (#302). Even if you don't deal with a mental health diagnosis, I think it might help all of us to take a look at them today.

1. Speak carefully. Words can hurt or heal. Use words for good. Say what you mean, mean what you say. 

"May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD." (Psalm 19:14 NIV)

2. Be humble. It really isn't all about you. Look at others as the Lord sees them.

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another..." (1 Peter 5:5 NIV)

3. Live in truth. Believe in the power of truth. Speak truth in love. Seek truth.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth." (Psalm 86:11a NIV)

4. Always do your best. Do your best for whatever state you are in - good days or bad days. Live for an audience of one (for God).

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23-24 NIV)

Let's all try to put these 4 conducts into practice. They will help us in all of our relationships.

Do you have problems with communication? How can focusing on God and practicing these 4 conducts help you improve relationships and experience more peace?  

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on the RipCord

Most of our family went to Worlds of Fun in Kansas City a few weeks ago. Blake was working, but the rest of us got to enjoy some time at this great amusement park. We had lots of fun and we took some time to watch people riding the RipCord when we passed that way. It looked so scary, but fun. I had always said I wanted to ride it, but I chickened out when Gary and the girls rode it at Cedar Point a few years ago. "No, it's too expensive...you guys just go," I urged, ever the martyr. I wouldn't admit it then, but I was just a bit too scared to ride.

This time I felt a little braver and considered doing it. When we figured out that you could ride for half price if you signed up and rode in the morning, I got pretty excited. (Having fun and saving money? Sign me up!) We decided to go back the next day so I could finally ride and stop getting teased for being a chicken.

By the time we got there, the girls decided they wanted to ride again and we convinced Dylan to try it for his first time and ride with them. We were doing this thing! We waited around until our "flight time" and then I got suited up. "Step here, pull these straps up, (lots of tugging and tightening) hold onto this handle and walk over there and wait by the gate." I was shaking by this time, but I smiled as I waited nervously. They got me on the platform and I waited while the group of three that "flew" before me was lowered back to the platform. Then they waited while the workers got me hooked up. "You're going to fall forward, don't try to stop yourself." I barely heard this and then I was falling. Gary said he could hear me scream from where he was waiting to videotape. The people who rode before me said, "That's the worst part."

"Really?"

"No," they laughed, "but it's really not bad. You'll love it!"



They were escorted off the platform and I was pulled up to about 189 feet in the air. That was always the part that had looked the scariest to me, but I was surprised to find that I didn't mind much at all. It was kind of funny to see people on the ground watching me get hauled up there. Finally I reached the top and stopped for a few seconds. I heard someone over the speaker say, "Rider, 3-2-1, fly!" I pulled the RipCord on my harness, I fell, and then I was flying at about 80 mph. It was so awesome! (You can watch the video at the end of this blog post if you want. It's just a couple of minutes long)

When I got back to the platform, I got to talk with my kids before they rode. From the look on my face, you can see that I loved it. They did, too.

 

When we were all back on the ground again, I kept thinking about the RipCord as we rode other rides and went to Oceans of Fun. Fear had almost kept me from enjoying a really fun experience. How many other times had I let fear keep me from enjoying something awesome? Too many times to even count, I'm thinking. 

Sometimes it feels easier to just stay where we are at, where we're comfortable. We know what to expect and we prefer to play it safe even as we look longingly at something else that looks exciting.

I had watched many people ride the RipCord at different parks over the years. It had looked terrifying from the ground, but every single person was smiling and putting their arms out like they were flying, no matter how loud they had screamed during that initial drop from up high. That should have reassured me, but I was still shaking when I went to get hooked up to the ride. 

I'm going to keep the RipCord in mind when I come up to exciting, scary challenges and new experiences in life. God has so much in store for you and me, we just need to trust Him and move forward in faith, not fear. We'll miss out on so much if we don't.

3-2-1...Fly!

"The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10 NIV)

Have you ever let fear keep you from doing something fun? How can focusing on God help you to trust Him and try new things?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Fear

Gary, Dylan, and I are in Chicago today and tomorrow, visiting our daughter (and sister) Allison while she's here working with Easter Seals for an internship this semester. We checked in at our hotel and then rode the Blue Line train to the Loop. We met Allison at the Willis Tower and saw where she works, then took the elevator up to the SkyDeck. The view was incredible. We tried to time it so we could see the city in daylight and also after the sun set. So cool to see the city light up as the sun went down. We went out on the ledge on the west side of the building and got a dizzying view of the street below. When we'd finally had our fill, we got in line to ride the elevator back down 103 floors. While in line, I checked my phone and found this text from Erin:

i'm safe. Just so you know. Scared. But fine. Girls were supposed to go to Paris tomorrow but i think not going. Obviously. i love you

This is not the text you want to receive from a child working for a semester in Germany. As a parent, your mind automatically goes to all sorts of possibilities for what could be wrong. From her text, it was obvious that something major had happened, but we had no idea what it was. This began a few minutes of frantic searches on our cell phones and we read about the attacks in Paris. 

It was terrible to hear about all of the violence, but also a relief to know that she hadn't been in immediate danger. In today's world, I suppose everyone's minds go to 9/11 and you wonder what may happen before it's all over.

I guess that's why I decided to focus on "fear" this Friday. Aside from a few moments of fear right after her text, I can't say that this incident caused me to experience much fear, but I am very aware that there are probably millions of people who are experiencing lots of fear as they watch what is happening in Paris. Some are afraid because they have lived through this and have to deal with the emotions and grief they feel. Others may feel fear because these events have reminded them of the uncertainties of life and the reminder that we never know what might happen to us or to those we love.

We can't help but feel fear at times, but we don't have to live afraid. There is a wonderful God that is above all evil in this world. We don't know why He allows things like this to happen, but we know that He cares and understands all of our emotions. He loves us and wants us to trust Him even though we don't know what may happen to us in the future.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship." (Romans 8:15 NIV)

Do you feel lots of fear as you look at the world around you? How can focusing on God help you to stop being a slave to fear and trust Him instead?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Faith

It's Friday again...and here I am. Another week has gone by and my emotions have been up and down. I love so much about teaching, but I have to admit that it's been very stressful at times. It's hard getting used to new things, new routines, new tasks. The computer is still giving me fits as I try to figure out how to give assignments, get assignments, give and grade quizzes. Hopefully the students will continue to be patient with me as I figure it out.

This week I received the CD by Jenny Simmons (lead singer of Addison Road) in the mail and I listened to it on the way to school, and I've been listening to it every day since then. It has so many good songs that seem to be hitting me right where I'm at. I think I'll leave you this week with the lyrics to one of my favorites and see if it might resonate with some of you, too. (You can also go to youtube.com and listen to it there.)

Let's keep praying for each other as we go through the joys and challenges of life. Let's keep our focus on God and the strength that He gives each of us. Let's never forget that God has great plans for us. It just takes courage to step into those plans and become who God has made us to be. That's what faith's about.

What Faith's About by Jenny Simmons

What if I what I have is not enough and all I hold You ask me to give up?
What if you require bravery but I'm clinging to the edge too scared to leave?

But what if I jump and I find I was always made to fly?
What if the days I'm walking into are the best of my whole life?
What if the things that I dreamed become my reality?
When it looks impossible but still works out
What if that's what faith's about?
What if that's what faith's about?

What if I'm not sure I heard You right and I found a thousand reasons not to try?
And what if I can't face the great unknown but there's no way back and nowhere left to go?

But what if I jump and I find I was always made to fly?
What if the days I'm walking into are the best of my whole life?
What if the things that I dreamed become my reality?
When it looks impossible but still works out
What if that's what faith's about?

So who am I not to be, not to be everything that You have called me?
And who am I not to speak, not to speak to every mountain that's before me?

But what if I try even when I'm scared and Your courage meets me there?
What if I hope against all hope and believe in every prayer

What if I jump and I find I was always made to fly?
What if the days I'm walking into are the best of my whole life?
What if the things that I dream become my reality?
When it looks impossible, but still works out
Oh, when it looks impossible, but still works out
What if that's what faith's about?


Do you have new challenges in life right now? Are you keeping your focus where it should be - on God - or are you focused too much on what you can or can't do? How can you make a conscious choice to get that focus back where it needs to be?