Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Swearing

The other day I got some plastic letters ready to put on the sign in front of church. They were stacked up in order, placed neatly in a basket. 

I set it down and turned to talk to someone. Crash! The basket fell and the letters went everywhere. I turned to my friend, my eyes wide with surprise. I laughed and started picking up letters, resigned to spending a little extra time getting them back in order.

"At least I didn't say a naughty word!" I joked as I worked.

"Oh, you do that, too?" my friend asked.

"Well, usually it's just in my head, but sometimes, yeah."

Swearing has been on my mind quite a bit lately. 

I wanted to read Trevor Noah's book Born a Crime, but it was always checked out at the library. One day I happened to check and they had the CD version.

I recommend listening to this book on CD - he performs it so well, especially since there are so many
lines of dialogue in African languages. You just have to be ready for a fair amount of swearing.

As I began listening, I was fascinated with his stories about growing up in South Africa. His mother is black and his father is white, which was a crime during apartheid. Every once in a while, he would throw in a swear word, but I could handle it.

As I continued to listen, the swearing became more frequent, and I became more uncomfortable. I had to wrestle with my thoughts a bit before I decided I could continue to listen.

He wasn't taking God's name in vain. The words he used were actually understandable as he told stories about growing up in South Africa. He was poor. He was colored (His word, not mine. That's the term they used for mixed races.) He went through experiences that most of us could not even imagine. He was telling his story and he was using the language he used during those years. I couldn't really expect him to change things to "shoot" and "frick" just to protect my sensitive ears.  

That being said, I think that all of us would do well to examine how we're talking. 

What is the first word we think of when something bad happens to us? Maybe we can't stop a swear word from entering our mind, but we can usually keep it from coming out of our mouths with just a little effort.

True confession time: I remember when Gary and I were first married and living on the farm. It was winter and I had to go outside for something. I was running across the yard and our dog, Skip, got in front of me and made me fall.

For some reason, I told Gary's family that when we got together, and my sister-in-law Helen smirked and said, "What did you say then?"

I probably blushed as I muttered, "Dumb dog." She laughed, but I've always wondered if she knew I was lying. (She does now!)

Truth is, I said a lot worse than "Dumb dog." I said something that starts with an F. I know, it shocked me, too. I hardly ever swore, let alone used that word.

I was in a bad mood, and when that dumb dog tripped me, swearing was the first thing on my mind. Luke 6:45 says it is "out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks."

Don't you find that that's true? When your heart is right, swear words are far from your thoughts. When your heart is messed up, you can think all kinds of nasty things.

My heart was good the other day in the office. I really didn't even think of any naughty words when the letters fell. I don't want my friend to think that I take swearing lightly, because it's serious.

We can overlook the swearing of others, especially when they don't know any better, but we can be careful to refrain from using bad language so that we can be a good example for others.

Even when your dumb dog trips you and makes you fall in the snow.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

Do you have a problem with swearing? How can focusing on God help you to get your heart right and use words that are wholesome instead?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus (or not) on Cold Sores

 

Last night I told my daughter Allison we would be going to the Cedar Falls writing group "if I didn't look too hideous in the morning." I was just starting to get a cold sore and I wasn't sure what it was going to look like today.

I slathered on Abreva before bed and prayed for the best. It was noticeable this morning, but I decided it wasn't too bad to venture out in public.

I would have missed out on a great meeting if I had stayed home just because of a little spot on my lip. 

We are pretty vain people, aren't we? 

We worry about what people will think of us if we aren't dressed the right way or if our hair isn't just so or if we have a big zit on the end of our nose (or a cold sore gracing our bottom lip).

I've gotten over most of that. I don't wear makeup. I don't mind going in a store in jeans and an old sweatshirt on a Saturday. I never spend much time on my hair, but physical imperfections bother me.

Cold sores, big pimples, and other abnormalities make me feel extremely self-conscious.

I remember a couple of years ago at the Breathe Christian Writers Conference in Michigan. I had a problem with my eye. It was sore and extremely red. I could hardly talk to my friends because I was sure they couldn't stand to look at me or were worrying I had pinkeye and would infect them if they got too close. 

I skipped a workshop and went to the eye doctor and found out I had a contact stuck in my eye and it was getting infected. (When I got back to Iowa I figured out I also had an old one in the other eye. What is wrong with me!?)

Even after I knew my problem was temporary, it was hard to show my face at the conference.

We need to remember that what is important is what is inside of us.

Of course, we want to look nice most of the time, but physical imperfections do not have to bother us so much that we don't want to spend time with people.

Cold sores and infected eyes are temporary.

What about people who have permanent "flaws"?

Scars, skin diseases, missing limbs, drooping muscles after a stroke...so many things can mar our physical beauty and make us self-conscious.

If we learn to put more effort into becoming beautiful on the inside, maybe we'll be able to make peace with the physical flaws that are part of who we are.

God loves us just as we are. He knows every cell of our bodies and he loves every inch of us. 

Some people will stare at our flaws and stay away if it makes them uncomfortable, but the people who love us will never go away. They will love us for who we are inside. A missing limb or scar just becomes part of how they know us and it doesn't matter a bit.

They can even look past a giant zit or an ugly cold sore, I'll bet. 

(image from livequotes.online)

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Psalm 31:30 NIV)

Do physical flaws make you feel self-conscious? How can focusing on God help you to make peace with the imperfections that bother you and move ahead confident that God sees you as beautiful, inside and out?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Possessions

Not my basement...but pretty typical. (I got this from Google images.)

Gary worked hard this week, but he didn't have to prepare a sermon. We're having a special concert by the Randy Aalderks family tomorrow morning. (If you're in the area, please come at 9:00!)

That's why he had a little extra time today. 

I was just starting to brown hamburger for dinner when he announced, "I think I'll work in the basement for a while."

You know how basements are. 

We had a big pile of cardboard boxes we didn't need at the bottom of the stairs, so he started hauling those out to the van so we could recycle them. Once he got through with those, he said he'd keep organizing for a while.

I was surprised at how anxious that made me feel up in the kitchen. 

I kept working to get the "Crusty Mexican Bean Bake" ready for the oven, but I really wanted to rush downstairs and make sure he wasn't touching any of my stuff.

What's he moving around now?

I know my crafting area is a mess. I was going to work on it this weekend. I hope he doesn't start throwing away the papers on the floor. I want those!

Why can't he just organize the "man shelf" instead of getting into my areas? (Pretty much the whole basement)

I always ask him before I get rid of any of his stuff, but I was just sure he was going to start pitching all of my perfectly good junk without consulting with me first.

I managed to not have a panic attack and he didn't spend too long down there, so I think my things are safe...but it got me thinking.

Why was I so worried about my stuff? 

I don't use much of it regularly, but it's down there, safely out of the way, but close enough that I can get to it "just in case."

When I do try to find something, I usually have to dig through lots of other things before I finally put my hands on the wanted item. 

I have so many interests and projects going on upstairs. I could probably get rid of everything in the basement and still have plenty to keep me busy for the rest of my life.

We would do well to apply that to our spiritual lives, too. If you'll indulge a very rough analogy: We have so much going on upstairs that we could probably get rid of everything here on this earth and still have plenty to keep us busy for the rest of our lives.

Some people have done that. Minimalists, they call themselves. They sell everything and live in tiny houses or travel with just one suitcase and a couple of changes of clothes.

I don't think I'm ready for such a drastic change, but I'm going to move slowly in that direction. Keep filling boxes for Goodwill. Try not to buy things I don't need. Use what I have. Hold on to things loosely and be willing to give things away to people who need them more than I do.

I want to concentrate more on storing things up in heaven instead of here on earth. 

Maybe I'll tackle the basement this week...while Gary is working on his sermon.

"Then he said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.'" (Luke 12:15 NIV)

Are you too worried about your earthly possessions? How can focusing on God help you to hold them loosely and store up more treasures in heaven instead?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on The Big Picture

My family and I are five days into a two-week vacation. (Erin and Blake opted out, but Allison and Dylan joined us for this adventure.)

We've seen Mt. Rushmore and the Black Hills in South Dakota, Yellowstone in Wyoming, Glacier in Montana, Seattle in Washington, and Crater Lake in Oregon...so far.

We can't wait to drive down the coast of California tomorrow and later show the kids more beautiful national parks and introduce them to the Grand Canyon.

I got an idea for this week's blog while we were on the Going-to-the-Sun Road in Glacier National Park on Wednesday. It was glorious. We looked out across mountains and the deep valley below as we drove higher and higher: 

We saw waterfalls all over the place and enjoyed the view. I noticed the pretty wildflowers as we drove, too. Yellow, purple, white...and red. I saw little groups of red flowers and decided I wanted to get a good picture of them along the rock wall beside us. After we turned around to come back through the park, I couldn't stop looking beside the road for the perfect place to take a picture. Whenever there was a group of flowers, there wasn't a good place to stop.

I told Gary about it and his response was: "What red flowers?" (To be fair, his eyes were on the road ahead of us most of the time so we didn't go careening over the edge. I'm so glad!)

After I pointed them out, he noticed them, too, but we couldn't find a good place to stop. I almost gave up, but toward the end of the drive we saw a few along the road and he found a place to pull off. I walked back to take a couple of pictures. There weren't many flowers, but they were kind of pretty:

Then I looked up and knew I had to take my photo from a different angle:

As I jogged back to the car and we continued on our way, I pondered that situation many times. I realized that I had become so consumed with a good shot of those little flowers that I had missed looking at the big picture and the beauty of the mountains and the valley right in front of me (and above me, and below me).

I love details, and it's not bad that I saw the flowers, but I had to remember to keep the big picture in mind as well. The picture of the flowers with the mountains behind it was so much nicer than the picture of just the flowers.

How often don't I do the same thing in life?

I get bogged down in the details, especially the negative ones, and I forget to see the Big Picture.

I see the little bulge of flesh around my waist and I get discouraged about that instead of thanking God for my healthy body that gets me around and allows me to see all of these wonderful places and serve God in many different ways.

I notice something in one of my kids that I think should be different and I stress about that instead of thanking God for healthy, capable children. I know God will lead them in the ways He has for them, so I can just pray and enjoy watching Him work as I love each of them.

I bristle at something my husband says in a stressful moment and I rehearse it in my mind way too many times instead of letting it go and remembering all of the kind and loving words he has said in our twenty-seven years of marriage.

I have a bad day and I choose to complain to God and whine about my situation instead of remembering that He has good plans for me and things will work out in the end. The good far outweighs the bad, especially when we have our hearts tuned to look for the little blessings God sends our way every day.

Details are important and they make life beautiful and interesting, but we can never forget the Big Picture.

Gary, Dylan, and Allison at Glacier. They're part of the Big Picture!

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Do you sometimes get so bogged down in the details that you fail to see the Big Picture? How can focusing on God help you to keep both in balance?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Letting Things Go

We have been in Tennessee this week. Before we left I made arrangements to change our monthly Writers Group meeting. I put it in the paper that we'd be meeting a week later than normal. I saw a couple of group members during the week and checked with them to see if it would work. I made a mental note to call Betty because she had offered to bring refreshments on May 2.

I told myself several times that I needed to call her so she didn't waste time making something for our meeting.

You can probably guess what happened. I was visiting with my parents on Tuesday night and got a phone call at about 8 p.m. I jumped up and answered it to hear Betty asking if we had Writers Group that night.

My heart sank as I explained that we were postponing until next week and I had forgotten to contact her. I apologized all over myself and asked her to forgive me. I'm sure I rambled on for way too long about how sorry I was. She reminded me that she wouldn't be able to come next week because of another commitment she had. We hung up and I kicked myself all the way back to the couch, feeling terrible.

I forgot about it until the next day when I was taking a walk. All of a sudden I remembered my mistake and a wave of regret washed over me. I had to make a conscious decision to let it go.

I didn't deliberately neglect to call my friend. I said I was sorry. I determined to write a big note in the future so I don't forget to make important phone calls. 

It would do no one any good to keep beating myself up over my mistake. I'm sure Betty wasn't too happy with me on Tuesday evening, but if I know her, she got over it quickly and moved on.

I guess I am improving in this area. In the past I might have cried and let my mistake ruin way too many hours of my life. Now I can look at it more objectively and move on. 

We have to learn to do this so that we can live happy, fulfilling lives. 

This was a minor error that inconvenienced someone. What about more serious mistakes that cost us or someone else lots of money? What happens when a mistake we make leads to someone's injury or death? Are we supposed to hang onto those situations and never forgive ourselves and move on? Will that do us any good?

No. It doesn't do anyone any good. Of course, we apologize. We make restitution if possible and we learn from our mistakes so that we don't commit the same errors in the future. 

After all of that, we let it go. We accept God's forgiveness, forgive ourselves, and move forward in faith.

We're human, so we're going to have lots of opportunities to practice the skill of letting things go.

"...one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal...." (Philippians 3:13b-14a NIV)

Do you hold onto regrets? How can focusing on God help you to let things go and move forward with more joy and faith?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Clean Refrigerators

Sometimes little things bug me. 

For weeks (months?) I was bothered whenever I opened my refrigerator. Milk had spilled on the bottom shelf and left a big yucky spot. Crumbs were all over. Other spills were visible when I took things out or put them in. It bugged me, but I didn't take the time to do anything about it.

One day this week I decided to take a few minutes and wipe out my fridge. I didn't even do a super thorough job. I just moved things around and wiped the shelves off with a wet cloth.

See? Doesn't it look great?

I was surprised by how good I felt every time I opened my fridge after that. Such a little thing brought me so much joy.

I began to think about other things that have been bugging me. Some of them are things that would only take a little while to get done and get off my "To Do" list and out of my head.

Others are bigger projects, but maybe I can break them down into bite-sized tasks and get some of them done.

We don't have to spend huge amounts of time working on one project. Doing things a little bit at a time is so much better than feeling overwhelmed and leaving everything until later.

I'm off to look at my clean fridge one more time, then I'll choose something to work on, even if it's just for a few minutes. That's the way to really get things done.

"Work hard and do not be lazy. Serve the LORD with a heart full of devotion. Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times." (Romans 12:11-12 Good News Translation)

Is there anything that has been really bugging you lately? What little thing can you do to make it look better or get closer to finishing a project? How can focusing on God give you wisdom about what things to work on and when to do them?

Super Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Better Late Than Never

We went to Rock Rapids yesterday to celebrate Gary's birthday with his mom and siblings. It was nice getting together with them and enjoying a nice meal at Pizza Ranch. 

We stayed at Denny and Holly's and stayed up late talking after we got home from supper. I had planned to do my Focus Friday around ten or eleven (as usual), but I looked up and it was 11:45! We went to bed and I decided to make it a Sorry Saturday.

Well, it has become a Super Sorry Saturday because I didn't sit down to write during the day today, either. So that's our focus for this week: getting something done even if it's late.

It was tempting to just say "Oh well, I'll just skip my blog this week" but I didn't want to disappoint my loyal readers and break my streak of posting every week.

I think we can apply this to other areas of our lives, too.

Just because we feel like we've missed the right time to do something, it can still be worth it to complete the task or project.

I have a pile of Christmas letters that I am going to send out this week. I know it's very late. It would be easier to just forget about them, but I did that last year and I really want to connect with my family and friends. They will probably sigh and shake their heads at my tardiness, but hopefully they will be glad to receive it.  

Maybe you've been putting off a project because you are uncertain about it. What if it doesn't turn out like you hope it will? What if people don't like it? What if....? What if...? What if...? If you have been prompted over and over to do something, it's time to get at it, even if it feels like you're too late.

Send that birthday card even if it's a month later. Write a short letter to go with it. Your friend will enjoy hearing from you.

Read a few days from your One Year Bible, even if you're not caught up to today's date. Over time, reading two days' worth each day will get you back on track.

Most of all, show yourself grace when you realize you've missed getting something done on time. We're all busy and we do the best we can. 

Sometimes you have to do something late (pay that overdue bill you found in that stack of papers), at times you can choose to do something late (send the birthday card you wrote out and then misplaced for a while), and other times you can let something go (household chores don't always have to be done every single week).

Doing things on time is a good goal to have, but doing things late can bring blessings, too.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

What have you put off that you feel like finishing even if it's late? How can focusing on God help you to get things done and show yourself grace when you miss a deadline?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Not Forgetting

I got up this morning and realized all of a sudden that I had completely forgotten my Focus Friday. I had thought of it several times yesterday, but I kept pondering what I would write about: the flooding in our area, my success at staying away from too many snacks this week and actually making a little progress on my weight loss, the energy and good mood I've been enjoying with my new medication...

I put it off until the evening and then I got busy with other things and never gave it another thought.

With this 50-year-old brain, I tend to forget other things, too. Due dates for bills (only once in a while), deadlines for possible writing projects, cleaning the bathroom, writing to my two children who live pretty far away...all of these things get forgotten, especially if I don't have it on the calendar or write myself a huge note and put it somewhere along my daily path.

Focus Friday is a little thing, but there are things in our lives that we need to make sure we aren't forgetting. Our relationships with God, our spouse, our children, our relatives, and our friends are so important. Sadly, those relationships can often be what we set aside when we get busy with the urgent tasks in our life. Friends, we can't do that. We need to be conscious of those relationships and be deliberate about the things we do to deepen and sustain those connections. 

Let's write a few notes today and put them where we'll see them so that we don't forget to do some things that will make life even sweeter as we interact with the ones God has given us.

Maybe we can even start by spending a little time with Him today.

"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." (Deuteronomy 8:10-12 NIV)

Is there anything or anyone important that you have been forgetting? How can focusing on God help you to not forget and do the things that will get things done and strengthen those relationships?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Short and Sweet

It's Saturday morning and I have so many things I'd like to blog about: Ragbrai, Worlds of Fun, vacations, writing, facing fears.

I sat down to write last night at 11:30, but my portable keyboard wouldn't work right. Besides, I am in St. Paul, Minnesota with a group of 5 great middle school girls at Power Connection. We have a full day ahead of us today, so last night I decided to call it quits and get to bed. As it is, all of us slept longer than we had planned and now they're all scurrying to take showers before breakfast. I'm last.

So, I'm tapping out this blog post on my iPad mini. I'm keeping it short and sweet. Next week I can get back to my computer and include some pictures of some of the things I've been doing lately.

Life is good. Sometimes you just have to keep living it until you get a chance to rest and reflect. Hang on tight and enjoy the ride. Hmmm, maybe I rode too many roller coasters earlier this week.

Anyway, the verse going through my head today after worshiping with a bunch of middle schoolers last night is this:

"I love you, O LORD, my strength." (Psalm 18:1 NIV)

Short and sweet.

Is your summer flying by, full of fun and family? How can focusing on God help you to hang on and enjoy the ride, no matter what is going on?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Moving Out

It's a Sorry Saturday this week (and I completely skipped last Friday) because life has been crazy at our house the last few weeks. Our two daughters graduated from college just a week apart. Last weekend I traveled over to Michigan to pick up one of my sisters and then we drove to Tennessee to see our nephew graduate from high school. It only took us 19 hours instead of 10 to get from Michigan to Tennessee, but that's a story for another Friday.

This week I'm going to focus for a few minutes on my oldest child: Erin. Here she is on graduation day from UNI a few weeks ago.

We're so proud of her. She has a job lined up as a 5th grade Science teacher in Shenandoah, Iowa next year, so she has been busy getting ready to move down there. It got very real for me when I saw most of her stuff piled up in the kitchen and living room, ready for the big moving day.

 

I started getting a little emotional when I thought about getting her into her new rental house (a very nice remodel) and leaving her there, over four hours away from home. It felt different than moving her into different dorm rooms and apartments during college. This time it seems more permanent. We may have to help her move again, but with any luck it will not be back to our house.

It's sad and yet it's a great day as well. Our little girl is growing up and embarking on new adventures that will shape the rest of her existence. The easiest thing would be for her to stay at home and let us take care of her, but she is competent and confident and excited to get out on her own. We pray for her as she begins teaching and getting used to a new community.

The outside isn't quite finished, but it's looking very nice.

She was so excited so had to post this on Facebook the day she got her key.

Raising our children to move out and become independent is the best goal for parents to have. Holding them close and not letting them go just hurts our children. Teach them while you can, let them go when it's time, and pray for them as they live on their own. God loves them even more than you do, and He'll always be there for them.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
Is it hard for you to let your adult children go? How can focusing on God help you to let them go and entrust them to God?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Infection

It's another Sorry Saturday because my hotel internet wasn't working last night and I had to get to bed because of this:

Yes, I'm definitely not looking my best right now. My eye was sore earlier this week and when I put my contacts in on Thursday morning it seemed blurry and felt funny. My left eye looked a little bloodshot. So I took the contacts out and drove out to Michigan without them. I had a good visit with our daughter Allison in Chicago and got to Michigan that evening and noticed that my eye was even more red. I went to bed hoping it was just from the long drive and prayed it would be better in the morning.

It was not. It was worse. I called our insurance and the nurse suggested going to urgent care because it sounded like pink eye. I was pretty sure it was contact related and I would end up going to an opthamologist. I talked with Gary and we decided maybe I could wait until I was back in Iowa and could see my doctor there. (Have I lost all of you yet? I'll try to wrap it up for everyone who is hanging with me.) When I called to get an appointment they suggested I see someone here and then follow up with them on Monday. So, I called an office close to my conference. They were full but I could go to Rockford (north of Grand Rapids). I said I would wait. 

I thought maybe I'd just wait til Monday and hope it got better. A while later I realized I couldn't wait. It was hurting more and I felt terrible. I called the office back to get the Rockford appointment and they just happened to have a 1:45 at the office right by my conference. Thank you, God! I had to miss a couple of sessions at Breathe, but I'm so glad I went. The doctor found a contact in my left eye! He got it out and gave me some drops to put in. 

Whew! Long boring story done! All of that to say that I'm hopefully on the mend and my eye will keep getting better. Before I knew what the problem was, I worried that it may be pink eye and I thought noone would want to be around me. Now that I know what happened I feel a little better, but I'm still very self-conscious about it. When you don't look your best it's hard to feel confident. I wanted to meet lots of people at this writers conference and connect with old friends. I have connected with friends I've met in other years, and that has been great, but I just feel...yuck.

This experience has been challenging me, though. I realize that I have some issues I need to deal with. There are thoughts and feelings that cause infection in my soul, just like the forgotten contact started an infection in my eye. My eye wasn't getting enough air and it wasn't good for it at all. Our souls can get cut off from God's life giving air when we keep things too long, too. We can't just wait and hope things will get better. That doesn't work. We need to get rid of them so the infection can clear.

Grudges. Bitterness. Resentment. Fear. Shame. Rage. A judgmental attitude. Just like I didn't know I had a contact stuck in my eye, sometimes we hardly realize we have these things affecting our souls. We need the Great Physician (God) to point them out and lovingly remove them for us. Then the healing can begin.

"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." (Philippians 2:13 NIV)

Do you have an infection? How can focusing on God help you to let Him remove whatever is causing it and start you on the road to healing?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Unworthiness

I don't have it in me to write a long post tonight. We took Erin to the airport last Sunday and she is now working at a daycare on a military base in Germany until Dec. 19.

On Friday we took Blake to Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa and got him settled in his dorm. We enjoyed meeting his roommate, Blake Miller, and his parents. They are going to have a great year!

Next Sunday we'll take Allison to Chicago and move her into her apartment so she can do an internship with Easter Seals in the Willis Tower for a semester.

Three of our four children will be pretty far away from us for the next four months...and I'm fighting feelings of unworthiness. I feel like I haven't prepared them well enough as they get out on their own. I'm not a complete mess, but I need to keep reminding myself that I have done my best and they'll be fine. There are others who can answer any questions they have and help them through any challenges they face.

God loves them and He loves me completely, even when I feel unworthy. I want to share an article by Tricia Goyer with you this week. I found it in my inbox after we got home from dropping off Blake. It sums up what I'm feeling and how I can take steps to change my "stinking thinking."

Her article is called "Am I Enough? Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness as a Mom." It was originally published at thebettermom.com. You can get to it on my Facebook page, I hope. The link I tried in his blog post sent you to my blogger site and would have let anyone wreak havoc with my blog, so I took it out. I hope you can find the article. It's pretty great.

I pray that all of you realize how worthy you are in whatever situation you may find yourselves in.

"...you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:6b-7 NIV)

Have you been dealing with feelings of unworthiness in your parenting, marriage, job, or some other area? How can focusing on God help you do your best and not get upset about your inevitable shortcomings?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Deleting

It's another "Sorry Saturday" (and almost a "Sorry Sunday") but this time it's not entirely my fault. We were camping this week and the campground did not have their internet working on Friday evening. I know, I know, I could have scheduled a post on Thursday when it was working or maybe even could have had one ready to go before we went camping, but this is the best I can do for right now. Today we had a group of kids and sponsors from our youth group come to the campground and we had fun boating, swimming, and cooking at the campfire. What a great group!

So, it's a "Sorry Saturday" night and I need to post this before I go to bed. We have to get up at about 2:30 a.m. so we can get our daughter Erin to the airport by 5:00 for a 7:20 flight. She's going to be doing daycare on a military base in Germany this semester. I'm sure I'll tell you more about that in a future "Focus Friday" sometime.

I had lots of themes swimming around in my head this week for Focus Friday, but I finally settled on one at about 10:00 p.m. Deleting.

You see, at about 9:30 I sat down to play one game of Mahjong tiles on my iPad. "I'll just play one game before I update my blog," I thought. I didn't complete the level in 5 minutes so I had to try again. Missed it. I have to get those three stars for finishing in less than 5 minutes. Tried again. Missed. Realized I just might have a problem with self control. Tried one more time. At 10:00 I looked up and decided that was enough. I held my finger on the app and hit the X to delete it.

This has been a long time coming. I had been spending more and more time on that game throughout the day, even as I thought about other things I could be/should be doing. It was time to get rid of it once and for all. My kids were starting to tease me about that being my new "Candy Crush." I noticed that too often someone in my family would be talking to me and I would keep my eyes down, frantically trying to find matches to click on and get rid of those dumb tiles.

Now, Mahjong Tiles is not a bad game. If I could just play it once in a while for a few minutes that would be fine. But when it starts to get out of control it's time to delete. 

As I look at my life, I realize there have been times where I've had to delete something in order to follow God more closely. Sometimes it has been a hobby that got too time consuming, sometimes it has been a television program that was feeding my mind too much garbage. As I think about it, there are some thoughts and attitudes that I need to keep deleting whenever they show up. 

Negative thoughts about myself, judgmental thoughts about others, pride, shame, insecurity, fear, anxiety...all of those things need to be deleted. I have a great big God who loves me completely and that love frees me up to feel good about myself, show compassion to everyone I meet, stay humble, have good self-esteem, have confidence, be courageous, and have trust that God is in control.

He really is in control. That's why most things in our lives that get out of control need to be deleted.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off [Delete?] everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us," (Hebrews 12: 1 NIV - my question in brackets)

Is there anything in your life that is a bit out of control? What do you need to delete in order to focus more completely on God? 

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Spinning

     This has been a busy summer. I missed Focus Friday last week because we were vacationing in Tennessee with my family. We had a great time celebrating my parents' 50th anniversary and taking in some of the fun activities in the Pigeon Forge area. 

     On Friday we went to an amusement park together. Dollywood had lots of rides, shows, and attractions. Some of our group left midway through the day due to the sweltering heat, but our family and my nephew toughed it out until the park closed. We found lots of rides we wanted to go on and we wanted to see the fireworks at the end of the day.

     We went on all of the roller coasters and big rides early in the day. In the middle of the afternoon we figured out that we hadn't visited a section of the park that had lots of smaller rides like the scrambler. We headed over there and my husband found something really fun...the teacup ride.

     Now, that may not sound very fun to you. Pretty tame, right? Not for my thrill seeking husband. Gary rode it first with our daughter Erin. He got that teacup spinning as soon as the ride started and it didn't quit spinning until it stopped with a jerk when the attendant stopped the ride. It was fun to see Gary laughing and Erin trying to keep her head from going back from the force of the spinning.

     Next, he got right back on with Dylan and Allison. It was a little harder to spin it as fast with three people, but he still got it spinning like crazy.

     We rode a few other rides, then came back to do it again. This time I videotaped as Gary rode "Lemon Twist" with Allison. My son Blake and nephew Phillip were in another car, spinning like mad as well. We laughed from the side as we watched because Allison could not keep her head from flying back. They got off and I decided that I would be missing out on something if I didn't experience this ride. I knew I couldn't ride with my husband or I might throw up (I had almost lost it on the dizzy disk a little earlier). I grabbed my son and we ran to get in line. He got it spinning right away and we laughed as the world began to spin. Pretty soon it wasn't funny anymore. I started to feel a little sick but I hung in there. The whole world was a blur around us. I could not see one single thing outside of our little teacup. The only thing I could see clearly was my son, sitting right across from me. We endured the ride and I laughed as I walked shakily back to the rest of our family. I'm glad I tried it. 

     In the week since then, I've been thinking about spinning. Sometimes our lives seem to spin out of control, just like the "Lemon Twist" ride. Broken relationships, illness, frustrations, financial difficulties, and all sorts of other problems can leave us reeling. We hang on for dear life and try not to throw up as everything around us seems to be a blur. The only thing not moving, the only thing we actually can focus on, is God. He's the only constant in our lives, especially when circumstances seem unsure. We can fix our eyes on His loving face and trust that the rest of the world will still be there when we stop spinning out of control. He'll steady us as we move on, even if we're still dizzy and shaken. 

     Life can be a wild ride, but I wouldn't want to miss a moment of it, especially with my Savior right there with me. 

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways." (Proverbs 4:25-26 NIV)

Does your life seem to spin out of control at times? How can keeping your focus on God help you to get through those times and keep moving on?

                      

Another Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Change

On the way to a wedding in Nebraska on Friday, I got a nice little facebook reminder from my sister-in-law saying that they would be looking for my Friday post. I shot back a quick reply, assuring her that I would definitely post by midnight. Alas, I woke up on Saturday morning and realized I had failed once again.

Oh well, God's mercies are new every morning and I'm sure any readers I have are very forgiving, too.

Even though it's a day late, I want to take a few minutes to focus on "change." There is a big change coming up for me soon, and it has provided the perfect reason to develop some focus in my life.

In the fall I will be teaching Spanish full-time at North Butler High School in Greene (about 10 miles from us). I wasn't looking for a new job, but it came to me. There was a need and it feels right to help fill it. This will be a major change for our family. I haven't had a full-time job since before we started having our children.

I am excited about this opportunity, but I'm also a bit nervous. It's been a long time since I was in the classroom every day. Our family dynamics will also change since both of our boys will be in high school next year (Dylan is so thrilled that he'll have me as his Spanish teacher!) and they've been used to having me do most of the chores around the house. This will change! Gary has also been used to having me around most of the time to help when needed at church and talk through things as they come up during the day. This will also change. I think all of us are going to have to split up household chores a little more so that one person doesn't get overwhelmed with it all (namely me!).

Thankfully, God has already started preparing us for this change. When I broke my ankle back in March, all of the boys had to chip in and help more. They've done a great job and I appreciate everything they've been doing. Gary does a great job with the laundry, but he's looking forward to giving that chore back to me when I can manage the stairs again.

What I've been surprised at lately is how my focus has improved since I decided to take this new job. I've been getting some things done around the house because I know I'll be really busy in the fall. I've been taking some online classes to renew my teaching license and these have helped me to focus more, too. They've been making me think about how I'll use the things I'm learning in the classroom. I've been checking out blogs and websites for Spanish teachers, gathering ideas and thinking through what my classroom will look like and what we'll do as I teach in just a few months.

What I find myself thinking about often is this: why have I not been this focused in my spiritual life? I go to sleep thinking about how much I love Spanish and how much I want to pass that love of Spanish on to my students and find fun ways to help them learn. I think about it often during the day and seek out new resources and ideas.

I think in the last couple of years I've lost some of my passion spiritually. The love and faith has been there, but the focus has definitely been lacking. I'm afraid I've been going through the motions and haven't been very excited about my relationship with the Lord. Even as I type that, I want to deny it somehow. I want to justify myself and say it hasn't been that bad. But the more I think about it, the more I know it's true. I've become complacent, predictable, boring.

When is the last time I couldn't get to sleep because I was so excited about what God is doing in my life? How long has it been since I eagerly looked in my Bible so that I could share something meaningful with a friend or someone in my family? Why haven't I felt that sense of urgency, spurring me on to grow in my faith because I know that time is precious and I may not get the chance if I wait?

Wow, these are hard questions...questions I hardly knew I had when I started this post. I think it's going to take a little focused thought to sort through them and figure out where my focus has gone.

I want to be a good Spanish teacher, but even more than that, I want to be a woman who finds my worth and purpose in my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It's time to focus on that first, and then I can put my extra time into preparing for this big change.

Do you have any big changes happening in your life? Are you making sure your primary focus is on God? How can you stir up that passion for God in your life, even if you don't have any big changes in the near future?