Focus Friday: Let's Focus on the Victory of Admitting Defeat

I attempted NaNoWriMo this month. Writing 50,000 words in the month of November is no small task. It's only 1,667 words per day, but when you skip a few days here and there and get behind it gets a little tricky.

I let that happen this year.

I wrote 20,000 words in one day a few years ago, so I think I was subconsciously planning to pull another one of those and win the thing in spite of getting behind.

Yesterday I wrote 4,519 words and got up to 34,018 by bedtime. I knew I would need to write 15,982 words today, but I figured I could do it, no problem.

But I still exercised this morning. I wrote a few thousand words. And then I went along with Gary to go out for lunch and visit someone this afternoon. I wrote a little more. And then we had Christmas program practice. I got home at six and considered attempting nonstop typing to get done, but I had a moment of clarity and decided to let it go this year. 

Instead, Gary and I went and enjoyed "The Grinch" at our local theater. We got home at nine and then I really accepted this year's loss. There was no way I could possibly finish by midnight.

 But even before we left to see the movie, I realized something. I think I just might be maturing.

In years past, I would have spent hours typing lots of nonsense just to get to the 50,000 words. I would have gotten upset if I had been interrupted, and I never would have spent time with my husband instead of reaching the goal.

So I'm declaring this year a victory!

The victory of admitting defeat.

We all have to do that sometimes. Maybe for you it isn't with writing. 

Maybe for you it's with some other project you hoped to have completed by a certain date.

Maybe for you it's with a relationship that you hoped to restore to what it was like years ago.

Maybe for you it's with getting physically fit. You skip exercising every once in a while or you keep overeating even though you know it's bad for you.

You have to admit defeat.

But can you admit that with a mature attitude instead of getting upset and pouting about it?

Can you see the strides you made while you worked on that project, that relationship, that exercise program?

Can you look at things objectively and make plans to take steps to finish your project even though it wasn't according to your original timetable?

Can you do something to improve that relationship just a little bit, or make the decision to let it go if necessary?

Can you renew your commitment to exercise a little more and eat a little healthier, knowing that those things will move you toward better health and fitness?

When we are mature, we'll admit when something isn't working and we'll change what we're doing so that we reach our goals and live a good life. (Maybe we'll even write 50,000 words earlier in the month instead of leaving it until the last few days of NaNoWriMo)

"Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20 NIV)

Are you able to admit defeat? How can focusing on God help you to do that with a mature attitude and move on from there?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Focusing

Last Saturday I went to a Beth Moore simulcast event at another church in town.

As Beth had us flipping back and forth in our Bibles, exploring the theme, I realized that I had not done that for quite a while. We visited many verses throughout the day, and it felt good.

Toward the end, she said something I just had to write down in my notes: Maybe we don't know who we are because we've forgotten who He is.

"Bingo!" my heart cried. That's why I've been so restless and unsettled in recent months. (I suppose it could also be a six-hour move to a new city, but that's only part of it.) I've been listening to podcasts and reading books and watching YouTube videos, but I haven't been digging deep into the Bible on a regular basis. That's where my true guidance comes from. From God, through His word.

My brain has been jumping from one idea to another: Maybe I should become a full-time editor. No, maybe I should get busy writing those books I've been talking about. Should I write the book on anger? or the book on depression? I'm not angry or depressed anymore, maybe I need to pour my time into ministry at church. Oh, but faith is very important, I need to spend time growing spiritually!

And because I'm not focusing on any of those things, none of them get done.

As I looked for a verse about focus, I found this passage from Philippians 3:12-20 in The Message. Take a minute to read it and let it sink in (even better, go read the entire passage online, I left out bits and pieces here):

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But.... I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision-- you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.

Stick with me, friends....There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them.....All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street....all they can think of is their appetites.

But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven!"

                                                   (Philippians 3:12-20 The Message)

I think that's it. We need to keep focused on the goal, Jesus. It's not "easy street," but if we stay totally committed to Him I think the rest of life will fall into place more easily.

When our eyes (and our hearts) are darting around looking at every possibility and opportunity out there, we'll be confused, unfocused. But when we fix our eyes on Him (the author and perfecter of our faith) our path will become much more clear. We'll know which goals to focus on so that we get closer to Him and closer to the person He created us to be.

If I focus, maybe I'll even finish a book someday.

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you." (Proverbs 4:25 NIV)

Are you unfocused, looking around at way too many possibilities? How can focusing on God help you to see more clearly and know where to spend your time?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Dreams

I don't try to find meaning in every dream I have.

Some are interesting and some are just plain goofy.

Half the time, I forget my dreams before I even get to the breakfast table.

But every once in a while, I have a dream that I remember vividly when I wake up, and I feel the need to record it so I can analyze it a little more and see if my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

That happened last night. 

I was dreaming some strange things, it's true (giant fish that were eating lots of things they weren't supposed to eat, children that were behaving badly, sightings of childhood friends and old crushes, among other things). All of that blurred together, but part of the dream got clearer. I saw a group of three glitzy singers. One of them suddenly announced that she was going to do something new, and she launched into a Francesca Battistelli song, giving it a new latino flair. She encouraged the other two singers to follow her lead and they wowed the crowd with their rendition.

I lost sight of the girls and dealt with the giant fish problem for a while, but then I saw them standing in a doorway. I went over and raved about how much I liked their version of the song, until I started to doubt myself and trailed off uncertainly. I looked around, then looked back at them and said, "Oh wait, you're not the singers, are you? Sorry, I must have gotten confused and you just look a little like them." I got all embarrassed and looked for a chance to escape.

One of the women, the one who started the spicy version of Francesca's song, stopped me and assured me that I had the right group. She put her hands on each side of my face and told me earnestly, "I'm not going to be someone who wandered out of her debut."

I uttered back, with tear-filled eyes, "That's who I've been so far."

That's it. The dream didn't go any further and I woke up. I almost went back to sleep, but I knew those words would be gone forever if I drifted back to dreamland.

So I started repeating them to myself, and I kept it up until I could get to a pad of paper in the kitchen. I scribbled the lines down and then went back to bed for a little while. 

I don't know exactly what that dream meant, but I have a feeling God will show me if I take some time to think about it.

My first thoughts go to my writing, as they often do. I'm afraid my subconscious may be pointing out that I'm continuing to "wander" away from my calling to write. God is giving me ideas and the desire to share things with a wider audience, but I find lots of activities and excuses that keep me from accomplishing any projects.

Wandering out of my debut...that's who I've been so far.

Sounds like a good wake-up call for this aspiring author. 

Either that or I ate too much right before bed. Who knows?

"The king asked Daniel..., "Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?" Daniel replied, "No wise man, enchanter, magician or diviner can explain to the king the mystery he has asked about, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries." (Daniel 2:26-28a NIV)

Have you ever had a dream that seemed to have a special message for you? How can focusing on God help you to discern what He wants to show you through the things you sometimes dream?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Jumping In

I'm in Michigan as I write this week. I've been enjoying Calvin College's Festival of Faith and Writing. It's a wonderful conference for anyone who loves words. I've met lots of writers here, but there are also many people who just love reading and come to hear some of their favorite authors speak.

This morning I decided to swim some laps in the hotel pool before breakfast. I made a grave error, though. I sat in the hot tub with Gary for about ten minutes before I went in the big pool. 

He went back to the room and I stood on the top step in the shallow end. Boy, it felt chilly! 

I stood there for a couple of minutes, then stepped down one more step. Yep, definitely cold.

Did I really want to exercise? Maybe I should just go back to the room. No, I did want to swim laps.

I stepped down again. Brrr!

I knew I was being silly. There really was only one way to get in the water. I had to do it fast or I wouldn't do it at all.

By standing on the step, all I was doing was wasting time. 

If I honestly wanted to swim laps, I just had to get wet all at once. I would get over the shock and the cool water would feel good once I started swimming.

I took a few deep breaths and plunged into the water.

Finally, I was in and I could get started on what I had set out to do.

Even as I stood on the steps, my mind couldn't help but compare that situation to my writing.

I know I want to write more. I know I'll feel good once I do it, but I stand in the "shallows" and ease in an inch at a time. It's a little hard getting started. I wonder if it's worth the discomfort. 

Of course, it is. Lots of things that are worth doing are uncomfortable at first. Maybe you have something that you've been putting off because you're afraid or uncertain. Jump in! You'll be so glad you did.

Oh, and please try to ignore the fact that I wrote something very similar to this about a year ago.

I've been standing on the step, easing into this writing thing for far too long. I really mean it this time, I'm going to jump in and do it. 

Maybe I just need someone to push me in. Any volunteers?

"As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will send you out to fish for people.' At once they left their nets and followed him." (Mark 1:16-18 NIV)

Have you been hesitating to start something God has called you to? How can focusing on God help you to jump in and get it done?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Writing a Book

Have you ever watched a young kid work up the courage to jump off a diving board?

The child shifts nervously and does a few practice bounces. Their arms move as if they want to jump, but it doesn't happen. You call your encouragement from down in the water: "You can do it! Come on!"

( Not me. Image from http://www.conceptualdynamics.com/files/partnewt/partnewt_fbd_cex1.JPG)

You just know that kid is going to love the thrill of jumping in, but they have to work up the courage to finally leave the safety of the diving board and take the plunge.

Well, friends, I'm ready to jump.

I'm sick of saying I'm going to write a book someday. I have lots of people cheering me on and urging me to do it. I see facebook posts from author friends having book launch parties and holding their brand new books. They talk about the hard parts - the deadlines and the editing - but they also rave about the thrill of touching someone's life through their writing. I want to do that.

So it's time.

My working title is "Staying Away From the Edge" and it's about depression. I'll share my experience with going over the edge, but I also plan to share other people's stories and lots of ideas for staying away from the edge and remaining emotionally healthy.

I'm focusing on it here so you'll hold me accountable. If all of my loyal readers know I'm writing, maybe that will keep me going to the end.

I've been thinking and praying about this and I'd like to go a step further. I'm wondering if a few of you would be willing to pray for me as I write. Maybe you can shoot me a facebook message every once in a while and ask how it's going. I have a plan for getting a first draft done by June 2, but I know that I could be sidetracked by lots of distractions and doubts if I don't have people praying for me.

You can also help me write it by sending me any thoughts you have about depression and how you stay healthy emotionally. Send it to: nestrobynmulder @ gmail.com

Maybe there's something you've been talking about doing for far too long. Friends, it's time to take the leap. Tell me about it and I'll pray for you, too. 

"Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you [in a book?] what he has done for me." (Psalm 66:16 NIV)

Are you standing at the end of the diving board trying to work up the courage to jump? How can focusing on God help you to finally take that leap?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Facing Our Fears

People are afraid of all sorts of things.

Spiders.

                                   


                                       Snakes.




                            
                            Even clowns. Especially this one.

(Oh great, now I'm going to give myself nightmares tonight.)

None of those really bother me that much. (Except Pennywise the Clown from the movie It. He bothers me.)

What am I afraid of? Silly things like writing a book.

I have at least six projects started. I'm not sure if all of them have the potential to turn into a published work, but a few of them do. I'm just afraid to sit down and put the time and effort into writing them. 

I like the idea of a finished book, but I'm afraid, and so I do other good things so I have an excuse for not writing. It's not even that I'm that busy with those other things. I have plenty of time to write, but my anxiety keeps me stuck in limbo. 

I'm unhappy with where I am, but I'm afraid of where I want to go.

I think I'm finally getting sick enough of my lack of forward motion that I'm ready to push ahead.

I had a little talk with my wise husband tonight. He must get so tired of repeating the same words of encouragement over and over. "I believe in you. I know you can do it, you just have to write the book."

I don't know what you're afraid of right now. Maybe it's a new job opportunity. Maybe it's a leadership role you don't feel ready for. Maybe it's a new relationship opportunity. Maybe it's a clown.

Whatever it is, you can do it. It's worth the risk to attempt it even if it doesn't turn out the way you hope. 

I realize that I've missed a great opportunity in recent months. When I've been sitting at my desk and my anxiety rises about writing I've turned to Facebook and Netflix to escape my fears. Instead, I could have turned to God and talked to Him about everything I'm feeling. I could've prayed until the anxiety passed and I was ready to tackle that writing.

I'm going to try that this week. How about you?                              

Is there anything you've been afraid of lately? How can focusing on God help you to face those fears and move forward in spite of them?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Story

I listened to an interview with Ted Dekker earlier this week, and then I listened to it again and took notes, and then I listened to it again while I took a walk this morning. 

You'll notice that the interview is part of a sales pitch for his new course called "The Creative Way." I can't vouch for the course (it looks great, but a little too expensive for my tastes), but the interview was really good.
My apologies if the link doesn't work after a week or so. It may be removed when the course begins.

The part that stuck with me the most? "Everything is story."

Since I'm a writer, this really intrigued me and I was fascinated by his explanation that each of us is living out our own story here on earth. We are spiritual beings living a physical life for a very short time. We are free to interpret everything that happens to us in any way we choose - good or bad. We are also free to write our own story - as long as it doesn't go against what God commands in the bible.

As we "write our story" we need to remember that we are in the world, but not of it. We aren't defined by success, other people's opinions, or even the things we do. We are complete in Christ.

I need to give this some more thought, but I wanted to share a little bit of it this week. Realizing that these bodies are just our "costumes" (as Ted Dekker says) can free us up to live well each day. Ted says you can't be who you are unless you first see who you are. We need to discover who we are beyond these earthen vessels we live in.

Now that's an exciting story!

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20 NIV)

Have you ever thought of your life as a "story"? How can focusing on God help you to interpret events that happen in your story in good ways and help you to write a life "story" that other people will want to read?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Procrastination....Someday

Today is my birthday (I'm 49, in case you were wondering). It has been a wonderful day. I got up on time and exercised before putting in some time over at the church office. I didn't mind working on my birthday, especially when a really pretty plant was delivered midway through the morning. Friends dropped off cards and goodies and I've received so many greetings on Facebook. Gary gave me flowers and marshmallow peeps yesterday and Erin brought a dozen Scratch cupcakes and picked up chicken from Pizza Ranch on her way home from Cedar Falls. It was so nice to eat supper together and watch "Big Hero 6" with all 6 of us at home tonight.

I've had a great feeling all day today, and I'm so grateful for family and friends. I tried to forget about some of the things that could get me down if I thought about them too much.

I got a few chores done around the house, but I also didn't get many things done which have been niggling at the back of my mind. Our taxes need to be done and sent to our tax preparer. It won't take long, but I've been putting it off. I have insurance stuff to deal with and I've also been avoiding that. Maybe the most important thing I've been procrastinating about is writing. I think about it all the time, but I don't sit down and do it too often, except for this blog each week. 

Gary saw this on Facebook and turned his computer around to show it to me last night:

I haven't been playing solitaire and I haven't gotten back into Candy Crush Saga...but I have been playing Bookworm on my iPad way too much in recent days. I tell myself it's good for my brain to learn new words but in reality it has mostly been a way of escape. I don't feel like doing something or can't decide what I should do first, so I pull out the iPad and play until my letter tiles burst into flames. I know it's a poor use of time because I always jump and rush to close my iPad when I hear Gary coming in the house.

Procrastination has been a major character flaw in my life. It frustrates me and the rest of my family when I put things off. Sometimes I do a little better, but then I fall back into old habits again.

While looking for a Bible verse about procrastination, I found this great article by Rick Warren about why we often procrastinate. I know many of the reasons are true of me, and I'm going to keep trying to do things on time instead of waiting because of indecision, perfectionism, fear, anger, or laziness. 

But I think I'll wait until tomorrow. Today's my birthday!

"If you wait for perfect conditions, you'll never get anything done!" (Ecclesiastes 11:4 Living Bible)

Do you ever struggle with procrastination? How can focusing on God's love and His plans for you help you to do things on time instead of waiting?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Writing

As I write, I'm right in the middle of a wonderful conference: The Cedar Falls Christian Writers' Workshop. It's good to sit in on sessions about different aspects of writing, see friends I've made at past workshops, and meet new writers who are attending for the first time. I hope my non-writing friends will bear with me this week as I focus on writing. You may find a few thoughts that you can apply even if you don't like to write.

We had some clown do devotions for us this morning (it was very good)

Since 2010, I've been attending this writing conference. It's a small, intimate setting. Only about 35 people attend, so you get a chance to meet almost everyone there.

Cec Murphey is our keynote speaker this year. He's been giving us great encouragement and insights.

Shelly Beach and Wanda Sanchez have become friends and mentors to me.

As I sit and listen to accomplished speakers, I focus on my own writing. I soak in what each speaker has to say and think about how it applies to the projects I have started and those I have yet to start. I am inspired and encouraged as I think about using the gifts God has given me so that I can inspire and encourage others in their faith, parenting, and marriages.

Sometimes I get down on myself because I still haven't published a book after almost five years, but today the Holy Spirit whispered words of encouragement and asked me to look at what I have accomplished: I started a writers group in Allison, I've published a devotional in Keys for Kids, I started this blog and have been pretty faithful at updating it weekly, I moved my website (www.therobynsnest.org) to a new host and revamped it, I wrote 50,000 words of a novel in November, I wrote over 16,000 words on another novel in progress, I have made friends in the writing world and, most important of all, I have grown emotionally and spiritually as a result of the conferences I've attended and friends I've made.

These three days are good for me. The intense focus on writing spurs me on to the next thing God has in store for me. With a teaching job coming up in the fall, I imagine I won't have lots of spare time for writing novels, but I will continue to blog and write what I sense God tells me to write.

I pray that all of you, my readers, can spend a few days once in a while to really focus on what God is calling you to. It may be business related, or something to do with crafts, or relationships, or music, or...whatever makes you tick. May that focused time bring you back to a greater appreciation for what God is doing in your life.

Do you ever spend a few days really focused on something that you love doing? Does it help you to focus more on God and the gifts He has given you?