Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Making Progress

This has been a productive week.

I've been going through old files and getting rid of papers I don't need anymore (I probably never did, but, you know, I filed them "just in case").

I'm close to completing a big editing project for an author I've worked with before.

I've been taking long walks most mornings and lifting some weights to get my body in better shape.

I've mailed out some things that had been sitting around for way too long (procrastination plagues me).

It feels good to make progress.

It doesn't feel so good to stay stuck in procrastination, laziness, and uncertainty. Those things inevitably lead to frustration as deadlines are missed, papers pile up, and projects remain incomplete.

Even a tiny bit of progress can bring joy and inspire us to keep going. 

Remember the cross stitch project I showed you back in 2014? I talked about enjoying the process and talked about finishing the project my grandma gave me. Here's what it looked like back then:

(A small section with lots of stitches missing)

Well, of course, life got in the way and I still haven't finished that project, but recently I pulled it out and started to spend a few minutes here and there on it. Here's where it is now:

(The box is filled and a pair of shoes has appeared)

Seeing this bit of progress reminds me that I can get it done someday if I just keep working at it. Even a few minutes every few days will get me closer to completion.

I've been pondering this idea often in the last couple of weeks. 

Moving ahead.
Working hard.
Doing something right away instead of setting it aside and forgetting about it.
"Progress, not perfection." (A quote I love, author unknown)

Making progress is important in our homes and in our jobs, but it is even more important spiritually.

It's too easy to stay stuck and frustrated because we don't want to spend any time talking to God about what's going on in our hearts. Sometimes we think it's just too hard to improve, so we don't even want to try. 

Instead, we need to focus on making progress. Moving ahead even a tiny bit can give us the encouragement we need to keep going and not give up. As we work hard on taking our thoughts captive and building our spiritual muscles, we'll make even more progress spiritually. "Progress, not perfection."

Let's do whatever it takes to keep making progress.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." (Philippians 3:12 NIV)

Do you ever feel stuck, physically or spiritually? How can focusing on God help you to work hard and make progress in your home, at your job, and in your heart?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing Things Badly

Lately I've become very aware of something I'm going to call "indecision paralysis." I just made that up. I don't know if it's a thing, but it puts words to what I've been doing in recent days (...months...years?).

You all know I have lots to do, right?

We're moving at the end of May (I blogged about that last week). Dylan graduates from high school on May 20. I still help out a few hours a week at the daycare. I have meals to cook and things to clean and writing projects galore.

So why don't I get very much done each day?

I get the urgent things done. I pay the bills before the deadline (usually). I prepare for meetings and show up for my scheduled shifts at the daycare. I do the easy things like loading the dishwasher, doing the wash, and setting the table.

But the rest of it often doesn't get done because of my "indecision paralysis." 

I'm not sure what to do first, so I don't do anything.

Or I'm not sure if I can do something as well as I would like, so I put it off, reasoning that I'll do it better when I have a huge block of time for it.

Or I don't know exactly how to do something, so I procrastinate.

I watched another TED talk on Youtube the other day. I found one by Olivia Remes called How to Cope With Anxiety (You can read an article that summarizes her points here).

I don't deal with a ton of anxiety, but I could relate when she talked about wasting lots of time deciding what to do and never getting anything done. That's me, I'm afraid.

Her solution: Do it badly.

Just jump in and do whatever you've been putting off. Don't worry about it being perfect or doing it well. You can always come back and fix it after it's finished, or do it better in the future as you practice and learn.

I think I'm going to try this in the days ahead. 

Dylan's party might not be absolutely perfect, but we'll have fun and I won't feel as much stress if I start working on it soon (instead of at the last minute).

There are a couple of tasks I've been putting off because I'm not sure I can do them well. It's time to get started and get them done. It's silly to keep thinking of them with dread and not work on them.

The move...well, that will happen whether I'm ready for it or not, but there's no reason I can't work on packing a little at a time so it doesn't all have to be done in the final few days.

I've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to decide how to end this week's post. I guess I'm just going to jump in and do it...even if I do it badly.

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it [even badly] with all your might..." (Ecclesiastes 9:10a NIV - brackets mine)

Do you get paralyzed by fear and indecision at times? How can focusing on God help you to get things done, even if you do them badly at first?

Terrific Tuesday: Let's Focus on Being Wise

Most of you know that I participate in NaNoWriMo in November. 

I started out strong on November 1 and wrote 1,824 words. I didn't have any story ideas before I started, but a bit of a plot developed as I wrote furiously that evening.

The next day, I had second thoughts. Gary suggested that maybe I could better spend the time working on some of the projects I already have started instead of doing NaNoWriMo this year.

Not do NaNoWriMo? But I've always done NaNo, I thought.

Still, I could see his point. I'm always whining about not having time to write...and then I'm going to spend well over fifty hours this month writing a story that probably won't turn into anything?

I got really sad thinking about not continuing this tradition, but I realized it would be wise to give it up and spend time this year on other things.

I have a very rough draft of a novel waiting to be worked on. I have a book on depression in the works. I procrastinated and have some other things to work on before the end of the year.

Yes, I decided, I'll have to give up NaNoWriMo. Too bad. 

I went to the computer and checked out my author info at the NaNoWriMo site. It said I had signed up about twelve years ago and it had stats going back to 2011.

2011: The Secretary...464 words (a pitiful attempt)

2012: No Answer...5639 words (I got a little more serious)

2013: My Title Will Come After About 20,000 Words...50,049! 

          (I can't even remember the plot of that one!)

2014: Clone Wars...50,037! (This one had lots of short stories in it)

2015: A Very Depressing Story...50,178!

I won three years in a row! And then:

2016: Gratitude...25,224

I hadn't even remembered that I hadn't won last year. I thought that I always had to win if I did it. Not true. I can still participate, and it's fun to win, but I don't have to win at all costs. This year, other things need my attention, too.

I want to be wise, and I'm learning that wisdom involves sacrifice.

Being wise might mean setting aside some activity we've always done so that we can do what needs to be done. 

Being wise might mean leaving the bag of candy corn at the store and picking up a bag of apples instead.

Being wise might mean turning off the TV and picking up our Bible.

Being wise definitely means looking to God to see what He has in mind for us. 

Some years it might be winning NaNoWriMo, but other years it might be finishing that other book.

I feel better tonight. I may not "win" NaNo this year, but I'll participate. I'll try to get my work done during this month and see if I can find some time once in a while to add to my word count.

I'll try to use my time wisely in the coming year so I can free up time next November to write those 50,000 words and win.

Until then, I'm sure I'll have lots of opportunities to make good choices and practice being wise.

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. (Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV)

Do you make wise choices? How can focusing on God help you to let go of things you "have" to do and do what He has in mind for you instead?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on our Life Calendar

This week I watched a video about procrastination (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU) (I think I was putting off doing something I really needed to be doing at the time). It was funny and hit a little too close to home, but Tim Urban ended with the sobering thought that all of us are procrastinators in some ways. 

We may not all push up against actual deadlines, but we put off doing many things in life that don't have a tangible deadline. We don't do what we've always dreamed of doing because it's scary or uncomfortable to step out and try something new. We keep going in bad relationships because it's easier than dealing with whatever is going wrong. 

He showed a picture similar to this one that shows a ninety year life in weeks:

I'm fifty years old. Over half of those little squares are gone already. I can't even be sure I'll make it to ninety, so that adds even more urgency. What am I doing with all of my remaining squares?

I guess I've been thinking about that a lot this week. Am I going to just keep letting the weeks fly by and never accomplish the things I say I want to do? If I make it to ninety, am I going to look back at all of those little squares representing my weeks here on earth and have little to show for them?

My friend Joan shared a great quote at our writers group meeting last month:

Begin doing what you want to do now. 

We are not living in eternity. 

We have only this moment, 

sparking like a star in our hand-- 

and melting like a snowflake. 

~Marie Beynon Ray

Isn't that beautiful?

I hope it can inspire all of us to be much more deliberate about what we are doing with the moments God gives us. We aren't going to live forever. Let's get busy with the things God is prompting us to do: Write that letter, call that friend, write that book, start that business, take that vacation, finish that project, give your time or money to that organization that stirs your heart so much, love the people in your life well. 

We only have so many "boxes" left. Let's not waste them.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12 NIV)

Have you been procrastinating because there is no specific deadline for something you've been wanting to do? How can focusing on God help you to use your time wisely because you realize that your time here on earth is limited?

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Getting Back Up

I meant to write my Focus Friday last night. I had a busy day and then we attended North Butler's musical production of Cinderella. All of the students did an excellent job. We got home and I decided to head for bed while Gary watched a little TV. Almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, I thought of it. I didn't write my Focus Friday yet. It was only ten o'clock, I could have easily jumped back up and written something for a while. But I didn't.

As more and more seconds ticked past, I felt my good intentions dissolve. It's so comfy here in bed. Nobody will care if I write it tomorrow instead. I'm so tired. Soon I was asleep.

The only problem is, my excuses continued the next morning. I was half awake at about seven, but I lazed in bed for another hour, dreading all of the things I had to do today. Please understand, my day was not packed with difficult, high pressure tasks. I had just a few more things scheduled for today than normal and just that much put me into "procrastination mode." I got some things done, but I could have accomplished much more with a better attitude and the resolve to get things done.

I've been fighting that feeling a little more lately. That feeling that I'm not getting enough done so I might as well not even try. That's a terrible way to think because it keeps me stuck in negative thought patterns and tempts me to give in to despair. 

The truth is, I don't have as much energy as I used to. Maybe I can't get everything done, but I sure can keep plugging away and get as much done as I can. I can balance work and relaxation and enjoy life as each day unfolds. 

An important thing to remember is that it's useless to live in regret. Today I wished several times that I had gotten up last night and written my Focus Friday. I didn't get back up! It's over and it's time to move on. I write my Sorry Saturday and try to get back to Focus Friday next week.

Sleeping in too late, failing to meet a deadline, letting an opportunity slip by, missing the chance to connect with a friend...whatever the situation, we have to choose to "get back up" and keep moving forward. Grieve the failure, but then let it go and focus on the present moment and what you can do in it. Let's press on, dear friends.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:14 NIV)

Have you had a time where you didn't "get back up" and you regretted it? How can focusing on God help you to live in the present moment and do the best you can right now?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on...Something

Some days I have so much to do...that I don't do much of anything. My brain scrambles through a long list of "shoulds" and "ought to's" and then it gets tired and urges me to go play Mahjong Tiles on my iPad.

Now, I realize that this is a very silly way to live. It drives my husband crazy when he sees me doing it, because he doesn't do things that way. When he has lots to do, he works hard to get things done so he doesn't have to think about them anymore.

I've gotten a little better in recent years, but I still have to work on this "avoidance" tendency I have. It doesn't do me any good to procrastinate and put things off just because I get overwhelmed. It just adds more stress later when I'm trying to meet a deadline.

I was reminded of this on Thursday when I attended a workshop about public speaking. I learned some very good tips that will help me with speaking events in the future, but the points that stayed with me the most were things like this:

"You have a message to share that only you can share to people that can only hear it from you."

"Your message is your gift from God."

"All successful people make decisions quickly...Indecision is your enemy...Procrastination is the devil."

"Everything you want is out of your comfort zone or you'd already have it."

"Don't wait! Time is speeding up, not slowing down...Don't have any regrets."

(All of the above quotes were from Arvee Robinson, a master speaker. www.instantprospeaker.com)

Her words really got me thinking about what I want to accomplish. I don't have all the time in the world to do the things I want to do, the things I feel God calling me to do. The days, weeks, months, and years keep flying by...what am I doing with all of that time?

So today, I want to focus on...something, instead of focusing on everything. When I look around at everything, I get easily overwhelmed and want to run away and do nothing. By focusing on something, I just might get it done and be able to move on to the next thing, knowing that the gifts God has given me are being used and that people are hearing the message that only I can share. 

"Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." (Ecclesiastes 9:10 NIV)

Are you focusing on too many things? Is it time to focus on...something, so you can get it done and share the gifts and messages God has given you with just the right people?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Surviving

I had planned to write a sweet post this week about how much Blake has grown over the years and how proud we are of him as he graduates from high school on Sunday...

But:

I have to finish finding pictures of him and get them up on poster board and/or into a slideshow.

We have to sort through awards and memorabilia stashed all over his room and see what we want to display.

We finally went shopping on Thursday so now I can start to make the banana split desserts Blake requested.

We have to do a little prep work so the chicken spaghetti can come together easily on Sunday after church. (Because split breasts were on sale and I like to make things harder than they have to be, I'll be spending a little more time cutting the chicken off the bone before cooking it.)

I should clean the house a little? (At least we don't have much family coming so most of that may be able to wait 'til after graduation.)

So, this week is not a sweet post about Blake's growing up years. It's a post about surviving without having 500 meltdowns between now and Sunday evening. It's a post about regret for procrastinating and not having the pictures done months ago (I knew this was coming, right?). It's a post about not beating myself up for all of the mistakes I think I've made over the years as I see my third child reach this milestone. It's a post about taking a deep breath and letting some things go. 

I don't feel extremely stressed right now, but I can feel the pressure building up as the hours tick by. A couple of days ago, one of my friends said she'd pray for me and that I should "take time to enjoy the journey."

And so I shall. Allison and I will have fun as we make the eight banana split desserts and cook up a bunch of chicken in the next couple of days. I will enjoy looking at pictures of our son as he has grown up into the young man he is today. I will stop and find something to laugh about if I feel like crying. 

This is going to be a great weekend. Congratulations to all of the graduates out there and their parents who have survived graduation party preparations and all of the other challenges throughout their childrens' lives. You did it!

"I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" (Psalm 91:2 NIV)

Are you going through a busy, stressful time? How can focusing on God help you do more than just survive? 

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Cause and Effect

Exciting things are happening here in Allison. Work started today on the building that will house "Allison Little Lambs Child Care." Lots of volunteers came to do some work gutting the inside of the building. We got quite a bit done in just a few hours.

Well, before going to help with some of this work, I decided to put on some old jeans and a sweatshirt. The sweatshirt worked just fine, but I ran into a little problem with the old jeans. One pair could never have buttoned and the pair that I did get on would button but I could barely breathe that way. Yikes! When did this happen? I had to put on a newer pair that were already stretched out to fit.

This got me thinking about cause and effect. I thought back to all of the candy corn I ate this fall, and the many marshmallow peeps I've consumed as Easter gets closer. To give myself a little credit, I haven't eaten nearly as many peeps as I've wanted to eat. Now add on the ice cream, nutty bars, oreos, and (lately) many handfuls of semi-sweet chocolate chips and I can see why my old jeans won't button. There was a cause (overeating) and there is an effect (clothes that don't fit). 

Unfortunately, the solution is simple, but not easy. Eat less, move more. It's time to spend a few more minutes on the treadmill and not reach for a snack whenever I get stressed or bored. There is no pill I can take that will magically melt away the pounds. It's just going to take some hard work to get back into those jeans and feel more comfortable in my clothing.

I wonder if almost everything in our lives can be explained by cause and effect.

Treating others badly can lead to strained relationships.
Cheating on your taxes can lead to an audit and jail time.
Procrastinating can lead to missed deadlines and lots of stress.
Ignoring a friend can lead to loneliness when they move on to someone who appreciates them more.
Yelling at your children can lead to resentment that can last for years.

I don't want to try to list every negative cause and effect. I'm sure you can think of many examples from your own life or someone else's. 

Luckily, it works in a positive way as well.

Showing love to your spouse or children can result in warm feelings returned to you.
Getting things done on time can lead to a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment.
Writing someone a letter can brighten someone's day and strengthen your relationship.
Learning to manage an illness well (physical or mental) can help you to thrive in life instead of just gloomily coping with symptoms.

I hope you can apply this to your own life and see where you may need to change some "causes" so that you will get different "effects." It's going to take some hard work, but it will be worth it in the end. As a friend of mine encouraged me this week: Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up!

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." (Proverbs 14:23 NIV)

Is there something you need to be doing differently so that you get a better "effect?" How can focusing on Jesus help you to not give up and learn to do things more effectively?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Procrastination....Someday

Today is my birthday (I'm 49, in case you were wondering). It has been a wonderful day. I got up on time and exercised before putting in some time over at the church office. I didn't mind working on my birthday, especially when a really pretty plant was delivered midway through the morning. Friends dropped off cards and goodies and I've received so many greetings on Facebook. Gary gave me flowers and marshmallow peeps yesterday and Erin brought a dozen Scratch cupcakes and picked up chicken from Pizza Ranch on her way home from Cedar Falls. It was so nice to eat supper together and watch "Big Hero 6" with all 6 of us at home tonight.

I've had a great feeling all day today, and I'm so grateful for family and friends. I tried to forget about some of the things that could get me down if I thought about them too much.

I got a few chores done around the house, but I also didn't get many things done which have been niggling at the back of my mind. Our taxes need to be done and sent to our tax preparer. It won't take long, but I've been putting it off. I have insurance stuff to deal with and I've also been avoiding that. Maybe the most important thing I've been procrastinating about is writing. I think about it all the time, but I don't sit down and do it too often, except for this blog each week. 

Gary saw this on Facebook and turned his computer around to show it to me last night:

I haven't been playing solitaire and I haven't gotten back into Candy Crush Saga...but I have been playing Bookworm on my iPad way too much in recent days. I tell myself it's good for my brain to learn new words but in reality it has mostly been a way of escape. I don't feel like doing something or can't decide what I should do first, so I pull out the iPad and play until my letter tiles burst into flames. I know it's a poor use of time because I always jump and rush to close my iPad when I hear Gary coming in the house.

Procrastination has been a major character flaw in my life. It frustrates me and the rest of my family when I put things off. Sometimes I do a little better, but then I fall back into old habits again.

While looking for a Bible verse about procrastination, I found this great article by Rick Warren about why we often procrastinate. I know many of the reasons are true of me, and I'm going to keep trying to do things on time instead of waiting because of indecision, perfectionism, fear, anger, or laziness. 

But I think I'll wait until tomorrow. Today's my birthday!

"If you wait for perfect conditions, you'll never get anything done!" (Ecclesiastes 11:4 Living Bible)

Do you ever struggle with procrastination? How can focusing on God's love and His plans for you help you to do things on time instead of waiting?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing Things Late

I know, I know. It's Monday. You're probably wondering why I'm still calling this "Focus Friday" when it's Monday. Well, I was a little lazy on Friday, plus we were out of town visiting Gary's side of the family and I didn't have good access to the internet. In short, I didn't make work of it. Sorry.

I thought about just waiting until next Friday to write again, but then I decided to take advantage of this theme and write a little late. Don't we do that sometimes in life? We forget to send a card to someone before their birthday and then we just let it go because it seems silly to send it three days late. We miss someone's anniversary and just let it go. We think about calling a friend on a certain day but then the moment passes and we don't think of it again until a few weeks later. We wonder if they're busy and we decide to let it go.

Of course, doing things on time is the goal, but it can't always happen and I think we need to stop letting it go. When we miss someone's birthday, but God still brings that person to mind a few days later - send the card! Miss an anniversary? Send the card a little later. Your friends or family members will still be glad to hear from you even if it's after the exact date. When God brings a friend to mind, pick up the phone and give them a call. They may be busy, but they may be lonely and welcome a few minutes to talk to a friend.

Miss your self-imposed Friday deadline for your blog? Don't let it go. Write it a few days later and hopefully bless someone who was worried about doing something a little late.

I'll see you on Friday everybody! ~Robyn

Do you usually do things on time or are you often just a little late? Do you think that focusing on getting things done, even if they're a little late, can help you to bless others and maybe even get more organized?