Focus Friday: Let's Focus on What We're Thinking

Have you ever noticed that when you focus on something, you seem to see it show up everywhere?

It's often that way for me. I become aware of a certain idea or concept and suddenly I see it on TV, read about it in books, and hear people talking about it randomly.

This time it's the idea that our thoughts create our moods.

In recent months I had been introduced to that idea on The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo. It was kind of a hard concept to accept, but as she talked about it over and over I began to understand what she was saying and I could see it happening in my own life.

We don't just get angry or sad or happy automatically when something happens. How we feel is determined by what we're thinking about the situation.

That's why the exact same situation (like getting cut off in traffic) can make us furious one day (That jerk! He saw me but he just pulled right in front of me!) and on another day it might not upset us at all (Okay, he's sure in a hurry. I guess he didn't see me!).

I bought several books on depression recently (for research) and I cracked open Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns a couple of days ago. Imagine my surprise when one of the first thoughts in the book was this: "You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment."

When someone is depressed, they nearly always have distorted thoughts. It's been fascinating to read about those thoughts and recognize the ones that I tend to think often. I've improved so much in recent years, but I still have some work to do to combat that distorted thinking.

Maybe you're not depressed, but I hope you can see how your thoughts influence your entire life. If you're focused on the negatives (about yourself or others) then you're not going to be much fun to be around. If you're focused, instead, on the positives then you can't help but enjoy life at least a little bit more.

As I've been pondering this idea in recent weeks, I was also reminded that it is a concept mentioned in the Bible. Proverbs 23:7 in the NKJV says, "For as he [or she] thinks in his [or her] heart, so is he [or she].

So, friends, I'll just ask it straight out: What are you thinking? Next time you're extremely upset about something, try to find the troublesome thought that is behind the feeling. By changing that thought you just might be able to change how you're feeling about a situation.

It's not easy, and I'm sure it takes lots of practice. I've built up over fifty years of feeling certain ways without giving much thought to what's going on in my head, but it's time to change that.

I hope it doesn't take me another fifty years to learn to apply all of this! 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

Can you catch the thoughts that lead to bad feelings for you? How can focusing on God help you to replace those with more positive and true thoughts that will improve your mood and your life?

Focus Friday: Let's (Not) Focus on Deceptive Words

I was reading in Jeremiah 7 this morning, and a couple of verses struck me:

"Do not trust in deceptive words and say, 'This is the temple of the LORD, the temple of the LORD, the temple of the LORD!'" (verse 4)

"But look, you are trusting in deceptive words, that are worthless." (verse 8)

In this context, Jeremiah was supposed to proclaim a message to the people of Judah, warning them about how far they were straying from the LORD. The triple "temple of the LORD" reference above alludes to their vain and repetitious babbling. God talked to them again and again, but they refused to listen.

These verses in Jeremiah got me thinking about my own deceptive words. I very seldom lie to other people, but I'm afraid the words rattling around in my own head are often deceptive words.

I hear lots of vain and repetitious babbling going on up there:

"I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid." I know it's not true, but mistakes and failures often trigger thoughts like those.

"I never get anything done, I never get anything done, I never get anything done." Those deceptive words can keep me stuck and I really don't get things done when I believe them.

"Nobody likes me, nobody likes me, nobody likes me." This is the biggest lie of all. I know people like me, love me even, but insecurities can jump in and try to mess up my thoughts.

The only thing we can do is replace those deceptive words with the truth instead:

"I am blessed with a good brain and I can use it."
"I can't get everything done, but God will help me accomplish many things."
"God loves me with an everlasting love."

It's difficult, but we can learn to turn deceptive words around and focus on the truth instead.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

Are there any deceptive words rolling around in your head? How can focusing on God help you to turn them around and focus instead on the truth?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Feeling Good

It's Friday, and I'm feeling good. I've been feeling good for at least a couple of weeks now...and I'm a little scared. I haven't felt this good for this long for a long, long time, so I'm a little nervous that the downward spiral will start and I'll feel bad again.

I realize how silly that sounds, but I guess that's something I have to fight against because of my history of depression. I have had lots of good times over the years. I've enjoyed life for short periods of time, but it seems like my thinking often sends my emotions back down to a pretty dark place if I'm not careful (and it has become clinical depression a few times).

I've really been trying not to analyze my happiness too much, because I know that if I overthink it I'll ruin it. I'm trying to just enjoy it and make sure I'm doing all of the things I need to do to keep it going.

I think I'm finally on the right dose of the right medicine, so that's helping. I'm learning to think in right ways so that I don't think myself into a negative place when things don't go my way or stressful situations happen. I'm trying to make sure I balance my obligations with activities that bring me happiness. I'm learning to trust God completely and rest in His love instead of worrying so much about what will happen in the future.

Sometimes I can think myself into feeling bad because I compare myself to other people's lives and I feel guilty for feeling good. How can I deserve to feel happy when so many people are going through pain, grief, poverty, or injustice? That is flawed thinking, my friends, and I'm learning to reject it. I can care about the struggles that others are going through, but their problems do not mean that I cannot be happy. Choosing happiness in the midst of my own difficulties can be one of the best ways to show people what it means to trust in my awesome God. I'll have enough days where it's hard to choose that happiness; when it comes easily I need to enjoy it.

Here's something that's added to my happiness lately:

That's me and my "Peepsicle." I got it for just 18 cents recently. (A yellow peep is missing because I ate it before I got the bright idea to take a picture of it.) I'm going to be happy about that Peep sucker, even though I've had several people tell me that peeps are "nasty." They're welcome to their opinion - just don't take away my peeps!

I got the rubber stamp for 50 cents. I would never use it on a card and risk shaming someone who was feeling sad, but I set it on the windowsill in my kitchen and it reminds me to practice thinking happy thoughts. I realize we can't always think our way to happiness; sometimes we're just too overwhelmed or tired or sick. Many times, however, we are able to turn our thoughts around when we choose to think on things that are "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable." (Philippians 4:8)

When you're feeling good, enjoy it! Thank the Lord for those happy feelings and pray that they last a long, long time.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" 

                                                                   (Philippians 4:4 NIV)

Are you feeling happy today? Enjoy it! How can focusing on God help you to feel more happiness and enjoy life more?