Friday, October 5, 2018
Focus Friday: Let's Focus on What We're Thinking
Have you ever noticed that when you focus on something, you seem to see it show up everywhere?
It's often that way for me. I become aware of a certain idea or concept and suddenly I see it on TV, read about it in books, and hear people talking about it randomly.
This time it's the idea that our thoughts create our moods.
In recent months I had been introduced to that idea on The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo. It was kind of a hard concept to accept, but as she talked about it over and over I began to understand what she was saying and I could see it happening in my own life.
We don't just get angry or sad or happy automatically when something happens. How we feel is determined by what we're thinking about the situation.
That's why the exact same situation (like getting cut off in traffic) can make us furious one day (That jerk! He saw me but he just pulled right in front of me!) and on another day it might not upset us at all (Okay, he's sure in a hurry. I guess he didn't see me!).
I bought several books on depression recently (for research) and I cracked open Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns a couple of days ago. Imagine my surprise when one of the first thoughts in the book was this: "You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment."
When someone is depressed, they nearly always have distorted thoughts. It's been fascinating to read about those thoughts and recognize the ones that I tend to think often. I've improved so much in recent years, but I still have some work to do to combat that distorted thinking.
Maybe you're not depressed, but I hope you can see how your thoughts influence your entire life. If you're focused on the negatives (about yourself or others) then you're not going to be much fun to be around. If you're focused, instead, on the positives then you can't help but enjoy life at least a little bit more.
As I've been pondering this idea in recent weeks, I was also reminded that it is a concept mentioned in the Bible. Proverbs 23:7 in the NKJV says, "For as he [or she] thinks in his [or her] heart, so is he [or she].
So, friends, I'll just ask it straight out: What are you thinking? Next time you're extremely upset about something, try to find the troublesome thought that is behind the feeling. By changing that thought you just might be able to change how you're feeling about a situation.
It's not easy, and I'm sure it takes lots of practice. I've built up over fifty years of feeling certain ways without giving much thought to what's going on in my head, but it's time to change that.
I hope it doesn't take me another fifty years to learn to apply all of this!
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)
Can you catch the thoughts that lead to bad feelings for you? How can focusing on God help you to replace those with more positive and true thoughts that will improve your mood and your life?
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I have been dealing with this with my youngest son. He tends to focus on the negative all the time and I try to get him to think on the positives. I tell him he's going to be grumpy and cranky all the time if that is what he always thinks on. He is very egocentric and it can be a struggle. (He's 9) It was nice to meet you this weekend.
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