Focus Friday: Let's Focus on "Overthinking"

"I was thinking, overthinking..."  This little line from a Relient K song keeps coming to mind after my physical therapy appointment yesterday.

I had gone to my appointment a little shook up because I had started putting about half my weight on my left leg over the last couple of weeks and I was starting to think I had messed something up. It just didn't feel right and I was afraid they were going to say I had to go back to the doctor and get it x-rayed and stay off it for a few more weeks and...I was worried.

When I talked to my wonderful therapist about it, she asked all the right questions: Did you injure it? Do you have pain that stays all the time? Does it hurt when you put weight on it?

No, no, and no. We talked it over and she said that it's probably just normal feelings I'm having as I get used to putting weight on it again. She concluded our conversation with this observation: "You know, you're a thinker. We'll keep an eye on it, but I think it sounds like it's okay."

She's right. I think about everything. I tend to overthink everything, and that gets me into trouble sometimes. It puts a great deal of stress on me emotionally as I think through various situations, possibilities, and relationships. The "what ifs" can drive me crazy.

We need to recognize the danger in the practice of overthinking. Thinking is good. Thinking can help us get ready for a situation or correct something we've done wrong. Overthinking just keeps us spinning in one place and can really get us into an emotional mess.

Overthinking the twinges of discomfort in my ankle almost set me back. I was ready to keep using my scooter until the strange feelings were gone. In reality, I have to get through some days of discomfort before my ankle is back to being fully healed.

I wonder if we do that sometimes with situations in our lives. We decide to work on a difficult relationship, but as we take the first few steps we feel some pain and discomfort. We overthink it and decide to just let it go on the way it always has been, instead of persevering through the discomfort and getting to a healthier place.

We get an opportunity to make a career change or take on a new project, but the anxiety we feel as we overthink all of the possible things that could go wrong makes us stay where we have been. It's too uncomfortable to change our routine and take on something new.

Overthinking can become a habit, especially for certain personalities. It can become our focus if we're not careful. You know by now that I'm going to ask you to turn that focus back where it belongs: on God. He'll help us think, but not overthink, as we go through our lives.

"People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit." (Isaiah 26:3 The Message)

Do you tend to overthink things? What can you do to break that habit and think in more healthy ways?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Pain

Today we're going to focus on pain. Believe me, I don't want to. I thought about just skipping ahead to some other topic or aspect of "focus" but my heart said, "No." Now, I don't always listen to my heart, especially when my head is shouting all kinds of advice:

It doesn't really hurt that much.

If you were a good Christian you would be able to bear this trial patiently, in spite of the pain.

People will think you're tougher and braver if you don't admit to feeling much pain.

People don't want to hear you whine.

It gets pretty noisy up there, but I'm going to try to ignore it and let my heart share some thoughts about pain that I've been focusing on this past week.

I think most of my readers know that I missed a step at church on March 16 and broke my ankle. Amazingly enough, I didn't have severe pain at the time it happened. Oh, it hurt, but I wasn't writhing in pain all the way to the hospital. I didn't really even get any pain medicine until I was taken to a room for the night. I took a pill and a little later the nurse explained that they would set me up with a pain pump so I could push a button whenever I needed something. 

I tried to decline, politely. "Oh, I don't think I'll need very much medicine," I assured her, thinking that maybe they would just give me a pill once in a while. "That's okay," she replied. "We'll just set it up and you don't have to push it if you don't need it."

Much to my chagrin (and relief), I did push that little red button quite a few times during the night and over the next day and a half before I had surgery. After surgery it felt so much better. Going home went well and I settled into my easy chair, sure that I would soon feel great.

It hasn't gone as smoothly as I would have liked. The last few days have gotten hard. Even though it's not severe, I've been frustrated with the pain I'm still feeling. I'm tired of sore hands from hopping around the house with my walker. I'm tired of having to ask for help when I need something I can't carry. I'm tired of making Gary and the boys cook and do the laundry.

One morning this week I just looked at Gary and said, "Okay, I'm done with this. I want it to be over." He sympathized, but we both know that it's not over and it won't be for a while. Life is just harder for all of us and we have to make the best of it.

Quite a few people have commented that God must want me to "slow down." That may be true, but I wish he'd chosen a different way to show me that. He could have spoken from a cloud while we were hiking the Grand Canyon. I would have listened to Him, honest!

Instead, I am going through a time of pain and suffering. It's not just physical, as anyone dealing with a painful illness or injury knows. The pain is also emotional. I'm ashamed to admit how many times I've cried in the last week and a half. I cry for the pain that comes and goes, but I also just cry in frustration and grief. Limited mobility, admitting I need help, and feeling like a burden (even though my family does nothing to make me feel like that) are all tough to handle.

Today I went to the doctor and the nurse took off my temporary cast. I got my first look at my ankle after surgery:

Bruised and swollen, it's not a pretty sight. Now I understood why I felt some pain further up my leg sometimes. The incision goes that far!

By the end of the appointment my foot looked like this:

Now I have a hard plaster cast and my poor toes are all sticking out. I think I scared the poor nurse who was putting on my cast in the doctor's office. I teared up a couple of times (it was just one of those days) and got weepy as we were talking. My head kept saying, "Stop it! You look like a fool!" but my heart said, "Go ahead. Sometimes you just have to cry and get it out. Then you can move on." Sounds like a great way to deal with all sorts of pain we may have in our lives.

"The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

Have you ever gone through a painful season (physically or emotionally)? Do you listen to your head or your heart in those times? How can keeping our focus on God help us through those times?