Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Being Neurotic

Lately I've been more aware of my thoughts and actions that tend toward the neurotic...

As we get ready to move, I feel the desire to ask everyone I know what I could have done differently while we lived here. I want to ask if I offended anyone and make it right before we leave. (I won't do that, but I am curious to know.)

The other day I subbed for the high school Spanish classes and I mentioned the "Overboard" remake with Kate Hudson and Eugenio Derbez. When I got home I realized I mispoke and it's actually Anna Faris. I felt the urge to send a message for the Spanish teacher to read so they knew it wasn't Kate Hudson. (I didn't do anything, but the desire was pretty strong.)

I often wonder if someone doesn't like me when they don't "like" or respond to a comment I've made on their Facebook post. (Even though I don't always have time to respond to every comment my friends make.)

We had a moving company come take inventory for an estimate yesterday and I wanted to ask the guy if we have more or less stuff than most people. (I didn't ask, but I so wanted to know.)

We left on vacation this morning, so yesterday I spent lots of time scanning in photos from an old album so I can return it to my parents when we see them tomorrow. I considered staying up all night so I could get more pictures done. (I didn't, but I only got about four hours of sleep because I stayed up way too late.)

I also stayed up til almost two because I decided that I finally had to get some Christmas cards sent out. I addressed envelopes and attached stamps, getting them ready to mail on the way out of town. (As I worked, I wondered why I couldn't have worked that hard earlier and gotten them out in December instead!)

Add to that all of the little thoughts I have each day about the things I'm thinking, feeling, and doing (or not doing) and I get dangerously close to being neurotic.

There is some good in being aware of what we're thinking, feeling, 

and doing.

It gets debilitating when we take it to extremes and analyze every thought, feeling, and action and it keeps us from getting things done or moving forward in life.

Thankfully, I have people in my life that can help me figure out when I'm being neurotic. I can run an idea past my husband or one of my daughters and they'll tell me if it would be a good thing to do or not.

I also have the Bible to guide me. The more I know it, the more I can recognize when I'm thinking in neurotic ways and take steps to think and act more rationally. (I can't do much about the feelings, but they'll often change when my thinking changes.)

We don't have to second-guess everything we decide to do. Sure, I stayed up way too late, but at least some of my Christmas cards finally got sent (and my friends are used to getting them late). 

We'll have those times every once in a while, but if we find them happening night after night or day after day, we may need to get some professional help to get to healthier ways of thinking, feeling, and acting.

Do you think it would be neurotic to ask everyone what they think of this week's post? Never mind. I don't need to know.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27 NIV)

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on "Overthinking"

"I was thinking, overthinking..."  This little line from a Relient K song keeps coming to mind after my physical therapy appointment yesterday.

I had gone to my appointment a little shook up because I had started putting about half my weight on my left leg over the last couple of weeks and I was starting to think I had messed something up. It just didn't feel right and I was afraid they were going to say I had to go back to the doctor and get it x-rayed and stay off it for a few more weeks and...I was worried.

When I talked to my wonderful therapist about it, she asked all the right questions: Did you injure it? Do you have pain that stays all the time? Does it hurt when you put weight on it?

No, no, and no. We talked it over and she said that it's probably just normal feelings I'm having as I get used to putting weight on it again. She concluded our conversation with this observation: "You know, you're a thinker. We'll keep an eye on it, but I think it sounds like it's okay."

She's right. I think about everything. I tend to overthink everything, and that gets me into trouble sometimes. It puts a great deal of stress on me emotionally as I think through various situations, possibilities, and relationships. The "what ifs" can drive me crazy.

We need to recognize the danger in the practice of overthinking. Thinking is good. Thinking can help us get ready for a situation or correct something we've done wrong. Overthinking just keeps us spinning in one place and can really get us into an emotional mess.

Overthinking the twinges of discomfort in my ankle almost set me back. I was ready to keep using my scooter until the strange feelings were gone. In reality, I have to get through some days of discomfort before my ankle is back to being fully healed.

I wonder if we do that sometimes with situations in our lives. We decide to work on a difficult relationship, but as we take the first few steps we feel some pain and discomfort. We overthink it and decide to just let it go on the way it always has been, instead of persevering through the discomfort and getting to a healthier place.

We get an opportunity to make a career change or take on a new project, but the anxiety we feel as we overthink all of the possible things that could go wrong makes us stay where we have been. It's too uncomfortable to change our routine and take on something new.

Overthinking can become a habit, especially for certain personalities. It can become our focus if we're not careful. You know by now that I'm going to ask you to turn that focus back where it belongs: on God. He'll help us think, but not overthink, as we go through our lives.

"People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, Steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit." (Isaiah 26:3 The Message)

Do you tend to overthink things? What can you do to break that habit and think in more healthy ways?