Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Anxiety

It's getting close to midnight. That makes me a little anxious. Will this turn into a "Sorry Saturday"? I'm just kidding. Most of you know by now that my blog is more of a "Friday Night Focus," anyway.

I do want to talk about anxiety. At Fresh Hope this week we took a few minutes to list all of the things that make us feel anxious:

Health, Children, World and Local News, Finances, Driving, Work, Deadlines, Meeting new people, Public speaking, Time management, Dating, Bills, Decisions, the Future, New situations, the Past...

The list could go on and on. Each person's list would look different. We read an article together that showed how people with anxiety show fundamental differences in perception. The brains of people who suffer from anxiety actually look different from a "healthy" person's brain during an MRI. Research shows that certain situations can affect the brain in such a way that a person can overgeneralize and feel anxious in similar situations, even if they know that there is very little to feel anxious about. They can't help it.

That's a very short explanation of a complex topic. You can read the entire article here if you want to know more.

The article didn't go into how this research might help those suffering from severe anxiety, but I think our group did make some progress as we talked. Just being aware that we tend to perceive things differently can help us to stop and look at things a bit more objectively. We can remember a similar experience and recognize that strong emotions accompanied a certain event, but hopefully we can realize that it doesn't necessarily have to be a negative experience in the present.

If you deal with someone who experiences lots of anxiety, please don't just quote this verse to them:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6 NIV)

This verse can make an anxious person feel so guilty. I know the verse is true. Worrying can do nothing for us, so it is useless, but an anxious person sometimes cannot choose to just "stop" being anxious*. Often they need the help of medication or a counselor so that they can see things differently and train their brains to react in a different way.

Maybe a better verse to share would be 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV):

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Do you often feel anxious? How can focusing on God help you to retrain your brain to handle anxious situations more objectively? 

*That idea of just "stop" it reminds me of a hilarious Bob Newhart skit that I watch every once in a while. It really is good advice!

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Staying Away From the Edge

It has been a little over a year and a half since I went through a severe bout with depression. Depression and anxiety robbed me of all hope and sent me to the hospital. I'm so thankful for the help I got there.

Now I have joy, confidence, and hope most days, but the negatives often try to creep back in. It catches me off guard and discourages me so much. I'm learning to catch those thoughts and turn them around so that it doesn't turn into a depression that debilitates me, but it is difficult.

I'd like to focus on "staying away from the edge" in this week's post. Have you ever traveled somewhere and experienced that moment of vertigo when you are overlooking some beautiful vista? Niagara Falls, The Grand Canyon, a hike in the mountains with a deep ravine next to your footpath? You realize that one false step could send you plummeting to your death. If you are wise, you make sure you are staying away from the edge so that you are safe. 

I think we can also do that emotionally. Mental illness can mean the death of us if we keep going in spite of all of the danger signs and fall over the edge. I'd like to explore some of the ways we can stay away from the edge when it comes to our mental health. I'll share some of the ways I do that in next week's post, but I'd like to ask for your help. Would you be willing to share some of the ways you "stay away from the edge" as you live with a mental health diagnosis?

 Email me at robynmulder @ hotmail.com or send me a message on facebook.* I would love to hear from you and share some of your ideas with others who are also dealing with their mental health. Please share this post with others who may also be struggling.

Most of all, please get help if you are teetering on the edge and you don't feel like it's worth it to get back to safe footing. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) if you need help.

Let's all make sure we're staying away from the edge.

"...I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life,...." (Deuteronomy 30:19b-20a NIV)

Do you ever feel like you might go over the edge? How can focusing on God help you to stay away from the edge and enjoy a fulfilling life in spite of a mental health diagnosis?

*(You can try leaving your ideas in the comments, but I've had quite a few people say that they've had their comments disappear after they write them. So sorry about that!) 

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Failure

It's Friday again. Time to focus...on failure? That doesn't seem very productive, does it? Stick with me. I think we'll all learn something if we focus on failure for a while and then move on.

That's the key, I think. Moving on. When I got home from the hospital I felt great for a couple of days and then I started to feel worse as I started to worry a little bit about people's reactions to letting my teaching job go. 

I felt much less stress because I didn't have the job to worry about anymore, but I also felt a different kind of mild anxiety because I had to admit to myself that I had failed at something. This is not a comfortable feeling for me. I've never liked to fail. Usually when I put my mind to doing something, I get it done and I do it quite well. Teaching was a big commitment and I didn't go into it flippantly. I fully intended to do a good job, be a great teacher, and succeed.

It didn't work out. I did the best I could at the time but finally decided that the job wasn't for me after it led to too much anxiety and depression.

Failing doesn't feel good. I can remember being with a group of people in a store once a long time ago and we were looking at those Magic Eye posters that have a 3D image hidden in the picture. I couldn't see it. Someone else in our group stared at the poster for a few seconds and announced with delight, "Oh, I can see it! That is so cool!" I felt extremely frustrated and upset because I considered myself smarter than this person and I couldn't figure out why she could see it and I couldn't. 

I realize how petty that sounds. I know it related to my pride and I still get in trouble with that when I compare myself with others. We can't do that! We have to stop judging others and just focus on the journey we are on as we go through life.

We are all going to fail at times. We will fail in big ways and we will fail in small ways. I think we get stuck emotionally when we focus on those failures and can't move on. 

How do we move on? By focusing on Grace. By forgiving ourselves for our failures - big and small. By learning from our failures and determining to do our best in the future. 

I was puttering around in my craft area one day and I had a CD playing in the background. I stopped and really listened as one song caught my attention: Daughter of Grace by Twila Paris. The second verse seemed to resonate deeply with me and I had to play the song again to let it soak in:

     She spent half her life working hard to be someone you had to admire
     Met the expectations and added something of her own
     So proud of all that she had done
     (Where was the glory?)
     So proud of all that she had not done
     'Til she knelt beneath a wall that will could never scale
     Broken and discovering that she could fail
     There she found the end of herself
     Heard her own voice crying for help
     And she was

     Carried in the arms of love and mercy
     Breathing in a second wind
     Shining with the light of each new morning
     Looking into hope again
     Unable to take another step
     Finally ready to begin
     Born for a second time in a brand new place
     Daughter of Grace

Grace is there for our failures. We can move on, secure in the knowledge that God loves us unconditionally and we can feel hope and joy and peace as we begin again after failure.

Do you have any failures that are holding you back right now? Do you see how focusing on God's Grace can get you "unstuck" and let you move on with hope? 

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Anxiety

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Philippians 4:6 NIV)

I've been a little anxious this summer. More than a little anxious at times. I have a full-time teaching job coming up in (gulp) 15 days, plus all of the other things that are just part of life and stress me out at times. So when we went to Colorado with our youth group this past week for Rocky Mountain High I tried to leave all of that anxiety behind and just enjoy the music, speakers, and beautiful scenery of this big youth event. I really did enjoy it.

On the last day I stopped by the prayer tent and had someone pray with me. I knew that I was going back to my normal routine and it was going to be difficult to deal with the stress. It was really helpful to talk things through and hear someone praying for me. After praying, the person asked me how I felt and I started to say, "Well, I still feel kind of anxious..." and I was shocked to hear them say that I couldn't do that. They adamantly proclaimed that I had no right to do that - at all. They pointed out that the Bible says not to be anxious and if I believe the Bible I can't be anxious. If I let myself feel anxious I'm just letting the devil win!

At first, I almost felt offended. How dare someone tell me I can't feel anxious? (*See note below) But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that they were right. I'm a Christian and the Bible does say not to be anxious. I've been pondering that often in the couple of days since we got home. It has helped. When I'm tempted to feel anxious, I remind myself to talk to God about it instead. I remind myself not to let Satan win.

I looked up verses about being anxious. Expecting to find lots and lots, I was surprised to find only 5 verses about it in the NIV Bible, and only 6 verses about worry. Evidently God didn't want us focusing on this habit and He didn't talk about it much.

On the other hand, there are 117 verses about peace in the New International Version of the Bible. Maybe that's where our focus needs to be. Focusing on our anxiety wastes time and energy and doesn't move us along in the right direction. It keeps us stuck. Let's all try to make a conscious decision to turn it over to God and experience His peace instead.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

Do you feel anxious at times? Can you see how talking to God about it could help you experience peace instead? How can you remind yourself to do this?

[*Please note that this post is directed toward those of us who can make a conscious decision to turn from our anxiety and focus on better things. I realize that some people get stuck and feel so much anxiety that they have trouble functioning daily. I believe that some people need to seek out professional help when anxiety becomes overwhelming. They may need counseling and/or medicine in order to feel better and be able to look at situations more objectively. Get that help if you need it!]