Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Asking for Help

I don't like asking for help.

I'll struggle with something for far too long before I finally admit that I can't do it myself.

It can be little things like pickle jars that won't open or not being able to move a piece of furniture on my own.

It can also be bigger things, usually more emotional than physical.

That was part of the problem when I got so depressed about four years ago. I was struggling with different aspects of a teaching job and I wouldn't ask for help. Even worse, people were offering help and I was just too sick to accept it.

I've been experiencing some of those same feelings lately. Oh, don't worry, it won't turn into depression this time. I'm healthy enough to notice how I'm thinking and feeling, and I'm going to do what I need to do to stay healthy emotionally.

Part of that is asking for help.

I need to talk to Gary about everything and not just hope these annoying anxious thoughts go away on their own.

I need to reach out to others when I'm not sure how to do something, so I don't get stressed out about whatever it is.

Gardening, for example.

I've been feeling a bit of stress about "my" garden.

I put my in quotes because it was actually the previous pastor's wife who planted some flowers in the backyard. Before we got here, some of the ladies weeded the area. Only one plant was blooming, but it looked very nice.

I went out there several times, but I didn't really know what was growing. Then I was gone last week, and we've gotten lots of rain, and suddenly the spot looked like this:

 It doesn't look so nice, does it?

The thing is, I decided I really do want to keep it up. I've walked around Platte and there are so many pretty flower gardens. I want to have one, too!

But I don't know how. And I've been too proud to ask for help. 

I know that some of the things growing out there are weeds, like thistles and grass.

But I don't know what some of the rest of it is. I didn't want to pull out flowers, so I left it all alone.

This morning I took a walk, and on my way home I saw my neighbor Suzy working in her yard. She has lots of flowers, so I stopped to talk to her. She showed me how she was cutting some of her plants back so they would keep growing. 

I told her how I wanted to garden, but I didn't know how. "I didn't know how at first, either," she said.

"How did you learn?"

She thought a moment and said that she had a couple of sisters-in-law that gardened and she learned from them.

I went home and spent a little time in my garden. I was dismayed by all of the weeds I saw, but I was also encouraged when I saw buds on some of the plants and realized I'll see some flowers soon.

(I don't know what this is, but I think it has buds)

Look, a lily!

I think these are something, too, but I don't know what.

It's time to ask for help. I can keep showing up at Suzy's and ask lots of questions. I know there are lots of ladies at church that like to garden and would be happy to help me.

It's just getting past that initial embarrassment of admitting that I don't know what I'm doing. I'll have to be willing to laugh at myself if they come over and can't believe I didn't know that a certain plant was just a weed. 

I can't compare my efforts with the beautiful yards some people have. I just need to learn with the small area that someone planted for me and see if I like gardening enough to expand in the years ahead.

I can ask when I get stuck in other areas of my life and I know someone else has the knowledge or talent to help me.

Most of all, I can ask God for help when I'm feeling anxious or uncertain. He'll show me what to do so I can get back to feeling His peace.

God, do you know anything about gardening?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (James 1:5 NIV)

Do you find it difficult to ask for help? How can focusing on God help you to reach out to others when you're stuck in some area and need help?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Thinking

Sometimes when you go on vacation, you leave something important at home...like your brain. There's something about getting out of the normal routine that can trip us up and cause us to make silly mistakes we wouldn't normally make.

Once when we lived in Minnesota we left the key to the boat at home on top of the fridge and didn't realize it until the boat was in the water at the lake. Luckily, we lived about a half hour away and it just cost us some time and a little gas money.

When I studied in Spain I took a trip to southern Spain during Easter break and stayed with another girl at a friend of a friend's apartment. The family that lived there wasn't home when we arrived. We didn't think much about the light not being on in the refrigerator, we were only there for a couple of days and we didn't use it much. The family was pretty upset when they got home, though. They had forgotten to plug it in before they left and most of the food was spoiled by the time they got there. I'm still not sure why we didn't figure that one out...fridges should be cold no matter where you live!

This camping trip has been no exception. It's our first time out using the camper and boat this summer (I know, sad, right?) and we remembered almost everything we've needed. One year we forgot our striker and matches the first time we camped and had to borrow a striker from the camp host so we could start our campfire. We had fun boating yesterday and laid all of our towels out on the picnic table to dry when we got back. I didn't give them another thought and noone else did, either. I didn't even think of them when I heard it start raining in the middle of the night. I wish I had, though, because we have a bunch of sopping wet towels now. I didn't think!

So often our lack of thinking can get us into even bigger problems than a bunch of wet towels. It can get us into relationship problems, financial troubles, and messes that cause frustration and lots of time to fix. Let's focus on asking God to help us think, even when we're away from home or very tired. He promises to help us.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5 NIV)

Have you ever done something foolish because you were too tired or out of your normal routine and setting? How can focusing on God help you to act wisely even when you're in those situations?