Last night I went to Bible Study at church. Fourteen of us women gathered around some tables in the fellowship hall and discussed 2 Kings 6 and 7.
I got to read from chapter 6 right away, then I listened as they talked about how God cares even about the small things in our lives (like borrowed axeheads).
Then we went on in chapter 6 and saw how God blinded the Arameans after they surrounded the city where Elisha was.
I just had to jump in and comment. "Did anyone else think of Star Wars when he says, 'This is not the road and this is not the city' in verse 19? You know, like 'These are not the droids you're looking for.'
Our poor leader didn't know what to say. She wasn't a big Star Wars fan. I got a few chuckles from some of the ladies, but someone else said they didn't know much about Star Wars, either.
We went on, but I got stuck for a few seconds in self-doubt.
Oh no, why did that have to be the first comment I made tonight? They're going to think I'm strange. I'm just getting to know them. I should have kept my mouth shut and waited to say something more wise and thoughtful.
Thankfully, I didn't get too stuck in those thoughts. I shook them off and followed along with the study, even saying a few things that were a little more "normal."
We ended with some business and delicious desserts, then headed for home. I was offered a ride across the parking lot along with 2 other ladies since it was raining pretty hard out.
I guess the Star Wars comment bothered me more than I even realized, because I couldn't seem to stop myself from saying something like, "I hope that wasn't too weird that I mentioned Star Wars tonight" as I got ready to open the car door.
"Oh no," the ladies assured me. "That was fine. We have lots of Star Wars fans around Platte." I dove for the garage door, and then kicked myself a little more as I went in the house.
You dummy, now they're going to think you're even more weird for asking about it! You should have just let it go. I'll bet they're going to tell the other women I was worried about it and they'll all think I'm strange.
Again, I had to be firm with myself to stop this train of thought. These are nice women. None of them were putting on a show just for Bible Study, and I shouldn't either. They might as well know right away that I have kind of a quirky sense of humor. (I really could have saved it for next month, though)
Genuine, lasting relationships happen when people are real with each other. When women (and men) show each other grace and understanding, an atmosphere is created where people feel free to be who God created them to be. No judgement is felt, only love.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I sang the song "Free to Be Me" by Francesca Battistelli at a community service. I talked beforehand about how we're all free to be the unique person that God has made us. What a hypocrite I'd be if I didn't live that out as I start to do life with these new friends.
I'll be real, but I think I'll lay off the Star Wars quotes for a while.
"The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." (1 Timothy 1:5 NIV)
Do you worry too much about what people think of you? How can focusing on God help you to be real and focus more on loving others than impressing them?
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