In 2008 I attended Rocky Mountain High in Estes Park, Colorado. At this youth event I had the chance to climb Hallet Peak one day. Gary was far ahead hiking with a friend of ours, so I was hiking alone. I made it up the mountain and then headed back down. The views were spectacular and I had lots of time to think as I walked along by myself. At one point I noticed huge jagged boulders downhill from the trail I was on.
All of a sudden I found myself thinking about throwing myself off the trail and onto the boulders. This was a shocking, unwelcome thought which I immediately rejected as I moved a little closer to the safer side of the trail. As I walked I asked God, "What is that all about? Why did I just think about jumping down onto those dangerous boulders?" I sensed His answer almost instantly. "You don't trust me." I tried to argue with Him, pointing out that I had been a Christian for most of my life, but I kept pondering that thought in the days that followed. Even now, years later, there are times when I sense God urging me to trust Him more.
I say that I trust Him, but really living that out can be difficult. Do I really trust Him when things don't go my way? Do I trust Him when health problems come up? Do I trust Him when one of my children makes a poor decision? Do I trust Him when I'm not sure about the future?
My devotions from "Jesus Calling" yesterday (March 12) pointed out that waiting, trusting, and hoping are all connected, like "golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain." Trusting is the main strand and the others strengthen the link between ourselves and God.
I don't think it was a coincidence that I picked out a CD today by FFH that I hadn't listened to for a while and one song in particular stood out: What If Your Best (It's on their CD "Wide Open Spaces") As we continue to focus on trust I'd like to share the words of this song with you.
What If Your Best by FFH
I'm trying hard to keep from falling off this wheel
Trying hard to keep so still
As you're shaping, and remaking
Something new is bound to surface
Something bound to bring you fame
Something sure to make you great
Something you can use
But I am only clay and clay doesn't get to choose
I want your best but what if your best is brokenness
Would I be broken?
I want your best but what if it's less than what I ask
And what I'm hoping?
What if your best is here in the waiting,
here in the going thru the motions?
I'll still be trusting all I am, and all I have,
and nothing less to Potter's hands
I'm trying hard to keep from giving you advice
It's like teaching Shakespeare how to write
Or Monet, the way to paint another scene
But there's just something in this amateur that thinks
That my opinion's what you need
On how to work in me
But I am only clay, and clay probably shouldn't speak
Take my life and let it be consecrated just to thee
Take my voice and let me sing for you my King
Take my moments and my days and
let them flow in ceaseless praise
For You always, for You
Only here for you to mould, I'm holding on,
because I belong in Potter's hands
This song hit me as a beautiful reminder to trust what God is doing in our lives. Even when we're broken, we can keep trusting Him. I feel Him working in me, teaching me to really trust Him. I can't just say it with my mouth, I need to show it by how I live my life. I need to prove it by thinking and acting in right ways as I respond to whatever happens in life. Real trust will lead to peace and will glorify God.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." (Psalm 143:8 NIV)
Do you find it hard to trust God? How can trusting, and then waiting and hoping, draw us closer to God and strengthen our relationship with Him?