I've had a couple of days of not feeling very good. I'm not sure if it's the new medication I'm trying, hormones, or a failure to think in right ways about the everyday challenges and tasks of life. I'm trying to show myself a little grace and not expect too much as I also try to turn my thinking around.
I'm reminded of an idea I read about in "Fresh Hope: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis" by Brad Hoefs. One of the principles in the book is the idea of choosing to be well. To "push through" even though you may not feel like doing something. You may not even feel like you want to get well because you feel so miserable or hopeless. Along with medicine and help from others, it's a choice we make to think and act in right ways so that we will get better.
And so I got out of bed at 8:20 even though I felt like staying there all morning. I dealt with an insurance issue even though I had been dreading it. I did the dishes today even though it would have been easier to leave them. I also made sure to do some things just for myself. I played piano and read and just sat and relaxed.
Yes, I got all weepy for a while and this got me feeling worried about the depression and what was going on, but I found out that I didn't have to stay that way all day long. It didn't have to get worse, at least not today. I could make some choices that led to better feelings.
Depression is difficult. It stinks. But it can get better. We just have to hang in there and keep making choices that help us get well.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NIV)
Do you have trouble pushing through some days? How can focusing on God help you to make good choices that will lead to more healthy ways of living?