We have been in Tennessee this week. Before we left I made arrangements to change our monthly Writers Group meeting. I put it in the paper that we'd be meeting a week later than normal. I saw a couple of group members during the week and checked with them to see if it would work. I made a mental note to call Betty because she had offered to bring refreshments on May 2.
I told myself several times that I needed to call her so she didn't waste time making something for our meeting.
You can probably guess what happened. I was visiting with my parents on Tuesday night and got a phone call at about 8 p.m. I jumped up and answered it to hear Betty asking if we had Writers Group that night.
My heart sank as I explained that we were postponing until next week and I had forgotten to contact her. I apologized all over myself and asked her to forgive me. I'm sure I rambled on for way too long about how sorry I was. She reminded me that she wouldn't be able to come next week because of another commitment she had. We hung up and I kicked myself all the way back to the couch, feeling terrible.
I forgot about it until the next day when I was taking a walk. All of a sudden I remembered my mistake and a wave of regret washed over me. I had to make a conscious decision to let it go.
I didn't deliberately neglect to call my friend. I said I was sorry. I determined to write a big note in the future so I don't forget to make important phone calls.
It would do no one any good to keep beating myself up over my mistake. I'm sure Betty wasn't too happy with me on Tuesday evening, but if I know her, she got over it quickly and moved on.
I guess I am improving in this area. In the past I might have cried and let my mistake ruin way too many hours of my life. Now I can look at it more objectively and move on.
We have to learn to do this so that we can live happy, fulfilling lives.
This was a minor error that inconvenienced someone. What about more serious mistakes that cost us or someone else lots of money? What happens when a mistake we make leads to someone's injury or death? Are we supposed to hang onto those situations and never forgive ourselves and move on? Will that do us any good?
No. It doesn't do anyone any good. Of course, we apologize. We make restitution if possible and we learn from our mistakes so that we don't commit the same errors in the future.
After all of that, we let it go. We accept God's forgiveness, forgive ourselves, and move forward in faith.
We're human, so we're going to have lots of opportunities to practice the skill of letting things go.
"...one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal...." (Philippians 3:13b-14a NIV)
Do you hold onto regrets? How can focusing on God help you to let things go and move forward with more joy and faith?
I almost forgot to post today. Seriously, I did. I mean, you probably think I almost forget every week since I post so late at night, but usually I'm thinking about Focus Friday most of the day and just put off writing it. Today I didn't remember it was Friday until about 4 p.m. Forgetting seems like a good subject to focus on this week. I forgot several other things today.
I took the boys to get their physicals today and I couldn't remember if Blake had chicken pox as a kid. I vaguely remembered seeing a picture of him with spots, but I didn't remember a doctor's visit or lots of calamine lotion. I felt a little bit like a failure as a mom. Shouldn't I remember things like that?
This afternoon I was piddling around with some paperwork and the phone rang at 2:45. "Robyn, I have you down for a color at 2:30, did I mess up?" "No, I did!" I yelped and I assured my hair dresser that I would be right there. Luckily she only lives a few blocks away. I felt a little bit like a failure because I kept her waiting and wasn't responsible.
After supper I decided to read the end of "After the Leaves Fall" by Nicole Baart. It was great and I started to set the book down when I noticed a little lump. I opened the book and saw one Black Hills gold earring and I suddenly remembered that I had taken my earrings out at the salon and had stuck them in my book. Don't ask - I have no idea why I thought that would be a good place to put them. Anyway, I read my book for a few minutes while I was there so I checked my purse and then called Susan to see if was there. Yes, it was, so I ran back over to pick it up. I felt a little bit like a failure for losing something special to me in such a weird way.
I'm sure there were other goofs today, I just don't remember them.
I really felt silly when all of these things happened, but as it nears midnight I'm realizing something very interesting. I forgot and goofed up, but life went on. The nurse didn't really care if Blake had chicken pox as a kid, he still needed a booster shot. My hairdresser wasn't upset with me being a little late, and she just laughed and said she was glad she didn't step on my earring before she found it. I moved on from each of these goofs pretty well. I felt "a little bit like a failure" but I didn't dwell on any of those situations.
The thing is, in the not so distant past these mistakes would have really upset me. I would have felt like a huge failure and probably would have cried a little about each of them, even if it was just by myself. Mistakes used to mean I was a terrible person and I wondered if I could ever do anything right. In recent years I've been learning to let mistakes go. (Maybe that's because I'm getting so much practice!)
I'm learning to separate my worth from what I do. I've been reminded of that as I study "The Search For Significance" with a group of women on Mondays. God loves me completely and unconditionally. His love isn't dependent on how I act and it isn't taken away for the mistakes I make. It is always there. Now that's something I won't ever forget.
"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13b-14 NIV)
Do you ever forget things? How can focusing on God help you to separate yourself from your mistakes so that you can remember that He loves you completely?
