Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Empty Nests

Well, it has finally happened. Our nest is empty. We dropped Dylan off at Northwestern College in Orange City today.

 In the days leading up to this special occasion, we talked and teased at home. 

"Are you going to cry when you drop me off?" he asked more than once. 

"Do you want me to?" I replied with a grin. "I don't think I will, but I can try to muster up a few tears if you want."

I wasn't really sure what would happen, to be honest. I didn't feel like crying at home, but I didn't know if it would hit me all of a sudden when we got to the dorm or after we headed for home.

I haven't shed any tears, but it has been a bittersweet experience. 

The last time we move a child into a college dorm for their freshman year. (We've done it three times before this)

The last time we sit through the new student orientation stuff.

The last time we meet a new roommate.

Dylan and his new roommate, Tanner

It's the last time for us, but I have to keep reminding myself that it's the first time for Dylan. For all of it.

I'm not crying (at least not yet) because I'm excited for all of the things he's going to learn and experience in college.

As I wander around campus, I remember how insecure and shy I was my freshman year. Northwestern played a big part in helping me mature socially, academically, and spiritually.

This week I've been thinking of all of the things I neglected to teach Dylan over the years. So many things! But then I remember that he has Google, and he'll be fine.

When we get back home it may hit me a little harder that all of the kids are gone. Gary and I are still adjusting to a new home, church, and community in Platte, and now we have to adjust to an empty nest as well.

I'm still not crying (at least not yet). We've developed a great relationship over the years and I think it can only get better with a little more time for just the two of us.

I'm praying for Dylan and for us during this time of transition...and I'm also saying a prayer for all the other parents adjusting to empty nests.

It can be a bit scary, but it's supposed to happen. It's what we hopefully want for our kids, the confidence and courage to leave the nest, spread their wings, and fly to new places.

I heard a speaker (I think it was Jill Savage) talk about how "first we hold, and then we fold." First we hold our newborn babies, our young children. Then, when they get old enough to go out on their own, we fold our hands in prayer for them.

I did lots of holding when our four children were young. Now it's time to do lots of folding as I pray often for each of them.

That should give me something useful to do as I get used to the empty nest. 

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)

Do you have an empty nest? How can focusing on God help you to adjust well to this big transition?

                                                                                                                                                                 

It's much easier to leave Dylan at Northwestern when Blake is there, too!

Blake is a Senior this year - and they're both in Hospers Hall.

Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Moving Out

It's a Sorry Saturday this week (and I completely skipped last Friday) because life has been crazy at our house the last few weeks. Our two daughters graduated from college just a week apart. Last weekend I traveled over to Michigan to pick up one of my sisters and then we drove to Tennessee to see our nephew graduate from high school. It only took us 19 hours instead of 10 to get from Michigan to Tennessee, but that's a story for another Friday.

This week I'm going to focus for a few minutes on my oldest child: Erin. Here she is on graduation day from UNI a few weeks ago.

We're so proud of her. She has a job lined up as a 5th grade Science teacher in Shenandoah, Iowa next year, so she has been busy getting ready to move down there. It got very real for me when I saw most of her stuff piled up in the kitchen and living room, ready for the big moving day.

 

I started getting a little emotional when I thought about getting her into her new rental house (a very nice remodel) and leaving her there, over four hours away from home. It felt different than moving her into different dorm rooms and apartments during college. This time it seems more permanent. We may have to help her move again, but with any luck it will not be back to our house.

It's sad and yet it's a great day as well. Our little girl is growing up and embarking on new adventures that will shape the rest of her existence. The easiest thing would be for her to stay at home and let us take care of her, but she is competent and confident and excited to get out on her own. We pray for her as she begins teaching and getting used to a new community.

The outside isn't quite finished, but it's looking very nice.

She was so excited so had to post this on Facebook the day she got her key.

Raising our children to move out and become independent is the best goal for parents to have. Holding them close and not letting them go just hurts our children. Teach them while you can, let them go when it's time, and pray for them as they live on their own. God loves them even more than you do, and He'll always be there for them.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
Is it hard for you to let your adult children go? How can focusing on God help you to let them go and entrust them to God?