Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Being Neurotic

Lately I've been more aware of my thoughts and actions that tend toward the neurotic...

As we get ready to move, I feel the desire to ask everyone I know what I could have done differently while we lived here. I want to ask if I offended anyone and make it right before we leave. (I won't do that, but I am curious to know.)

The other day I subbed for the high school Spanish classes and I mentioned the "Overboard" remake with Kate Hudson and Eugenio Derbez. When I got home I realized I mispoke and it's actually Anna Faris. I felt the urge to send a message for the Spanish teacher to read so they knew it wasn't Kate Hudson. (I didn't do anything, but the desire was pretty strong.)

I often wonder if someone doesn't like me when they don't "like" or respond to a comment I've made on their Facebook post. (Even though I don't always have time to respond to every comment my friends make.)

We had a moving company come take inventory for an estimate yesterday and I wanted to ask the guy if we have more or less stuff than most people. (I didn't ask, but I so wanted to know.)

We left on vacation this morning, so yesterday I spent lots of time scanning in photos from an old album so I can return it to my parents when we see them tomorrow. I considered staying up all night so I could get more pictures done. (I didn't, but I only got about four hours of sleep because I stayed up way too late.)

I also stayed up til almost two because I decided that I finally had to get some Christmas cards sent out. I addressed envelopes and attached stamps, getting them ready to mail on the way out of town. (As I worked, I wondered why I couldn't have worked that hard earlier and gotten them out in December instead!)

Add to that all of the little thoughts I have each day about the things I'm thinking, feeling, and doing (or not doing) and I get dangerously close to being neurotic.

There is some good in being aware of what we're thinking, feeling, 

and doing.

It gets debilitating when we take it to extremes and analyze every thought, feeling, and action and it keeps us from getting things done or moving forward in life.

Thankfully, I have people in my life that can help me figure out when I'm being neurotic. I can run an idea past my husband or one of my daughters and they'll tell me if it would be a good thing to do or not.

I also have the Bible to guide me. The more I know it, the more I can recognize when I'm thinking in neurotic ways and take steps to think and act more rationally. (I can't do much about the feelings, but they'll often change when my thinking changes.)

We don't have to second-guess everything we decide to do. Sure, I stayed up way too late, but at least some of my Christmas cards finally got sent (and my friends are used to getting them late). 

We'll have those times every once in a while, but if we find them happening night after night or day after day, we may need to get some professional help to get to healthier ways of thinking, feeling, and acting.

Do you think it would be neurotic to ask everyone what they think of this week's post? Never mind. I don't need to know.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27 NIV)

Super Sorry Saturday: Let's Focus on Better Late Than Never

We went to Rock Rapids yesterday to celebrate Gary's birthday with his mom and siblings. It was nice getting together with them and enjoying a nice meal at Pizza Ranch. 

We stayed at Denny and Holly's and stayed up late talking after we got home from supper. I had planned to do my Focus Friday around ten or eleven (as usual), but I looked up and it was 11:45! We went to bed and I decided to make it a Sorry Saturday.

Well, it has become a Super Sorry Saturday because I didn't sit down to write during the day today, either. So that's our focus for this week: getting something done even if it's late.

It was tempting to just say "Oh well, I'll just skip my blog this week" but I didn't want to disappoint my loyal readers and break my streak of posting every week.

I think we can apply this to other areas of our lives, too.

Just because we feel like we've missed the right time to do something, it can still be worth it to complete the task or project.

I have a pile of Christmas letters that I am going to send out this week. I know it's very late. It would be easier to just forget about them, but I did that last year and I really want to connect with my family and friends. They will probably sigh and shake their heads at my tardiness, but hopefully they will be glad to receive it.  

Maybe you've been putting off a project because you are uncertain about it. What if it doesn't turn out like you hope it will? What if people don't like it? What if....? What if...? What if...? If you have been prompted over and over to do something, it's time to get at it, even if it feels like you're too late.

Send that birthday card even if it's a month later. Write a short letter to go with it. Your friend will enjoy hearing from you.

Read a few days from your One Year Bible, even if you're not caught up to today's date. Over time, reading two days' worth each day will get you back on track.

Most of all, show yourself grace when you realize you've missed getting something done on time. We're all busy and we do the best we can. 

Sometimes you have to do something late (pay that overdue bill you found in that stack of papers), at times you can choose to do something late (send the birthday card you wrote out and then misplaced for a while), and other times you can let something go (household chores don't always have to be done every single week).

Doing things on time is a good goal to have, but doing things late can bring blessings, too.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

What have you put off that you feel like finishing even if it's late? How can focusing on God help you to get things done and show yourself grace when you miss a deadline?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Secrets

Can you keep a secret?

I usually can, and that's normally a good thing. I don't tell when I hear that someone is expecting or that they're getting a new job or they're taking their kids on a surprise trip to Disney World.

Sometimes keeping a secret is a bad thing.

I had picked the topic of "balance" for our Fresh Hope support group last Sunday. As we talked about not doing too much so that we could stay emotionally healthy, I admitted a secret to the group. "What do I do about the Christmas cards I haven't sent out yet...and I even have some kids I never sent graduation cards to!" I started crying, of course, because I felt so stupid about procrastinating and not doing something I felt I "should" do. The rest of the group urged me to let the Christmas cards go. "I can really do that?" I asked. I wasn't so sure about that, but I took a deep breath and considered it. As for the graduation cards, I could still send them with just a quick apology and get it done.

After Fresh Hope, Gary chided me about the secret I had been keeping from him. I guess if I had to admit it, I had been keeping it a secret. As the months went by, I felt more and more embarrassed about not getting it done. I think I was hoping to just do them sometime and not tell him how late it had been. I felt guilty whenever I thought of those two tasks, and part of it was because of the secret.

Gary asked me on Tuesday if I had sent the graduation cards yet. I hadn't, but I made work of it on Wednesday morning and mailed them out. Whew! If only I had done that last May or June! I felt much better not having a secret from Gary and he provided the accountability I needed to help me finally get it done.

Hiding our unfinished tasks is one thing, but sometimes we can start to keep certain sins a secret from those we love. It's pretty safe to say that if there is anything you feel you must do in secret, it's probably not good for you or your spiritual health. Only you and God know for sure, of course, but it's worth thinking about. 

Consider talking to your spouse or a close friend about your secret. It will be a relief to have it out in the open and you can ask that person to hold you accountable so that you turn away from your secret sin.

Now tell me, would it be a sin if I didn't send out a Christmas letter this year?

Jesus told his disciples: "So do not be afraid of them. There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim it from the roofs." (Matthew 10:26-27 NIV)

Do you have any secrets you're keeping? Is the guilt bothering you? How can focusing on God help you be brave enough to tell someone your secret and deal with whatever it is?