Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Keeping Our Word

Last week I told you that I was going to work on my website (robynmulder.com) and start working on a book proposal.

Because I told you that, I actually did those things, even though I was scared.

It didn't go perfectly. 

I made some changes on the website, but I also tried a new theme in WordPress. It was live for about five minutes, until I noticed a couple of things that looked funny and I didn't know how to fix them. I quickly reverted back to my old theme, the one I'm comfortable with.

I said I would work on my book proposal for three hours, but I didn't start working on it until Thursday. I think I worked on it for about an hour and a half.

Did I fail? No. 

I kept my word to my readers, even though it didn't go exactly as planned.

I played around with my website theme and now I want to spend a little more time learning how to change the look and have things work the way I want them to.

I spent an hour and a half on my proposal and now my brain is working on ideas for the book even when I'm not at my desk.

Keeping our word is important.

We've all been disappointed by someone who said they would do something, but they blew it off and didn't get it done.

People understand when there are emergencies that come up, but they lose faith in us when we fail to show up or complete a task just because we didn't feel like it.

I think that includes the promises we make to ourselves.

We lose faith in ourselves when we say we're going to do something, but then we let it go just because we're afraid or we don't feel like it.

Friends, we need to practice keeping our word, to others, of course, but even to ourselves.

When you say, "I'm going to get up at seven o'clock tomorrow morning," make sure you get up at seven o'clock.

When you say, "I'm going to eat healthier," make sure you fill your fridge with healthy choices and stay away from too many sweets.

When you say, "I'm going to get closer to God," make sure you spend time in the Bible and talk to Him often as you go about your day.

When you say, "I'm going to __________," make sure you take the steps necessary to get that accomplished.

It will help if you tell someone about these promises you're making. Give someone permission to ask you, "Hey, how's it going? Are you doing what you said you'd do?"

Don't lose hope if you don't always keep your promises to yourself and others. We're human and we can't do it all perfectly. But do your best to keep your word. Others will see you are a person of integrity and you will feel great as you accomplish the things you've always said you were going to do. 

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19 NIV)

Are you good at keeping your word to yourself and others? How can focusing on God help you to get even better at keeping your word?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Doing It Scared

To make the time pass more quickly while I take my morning walks, I often listen to some great podcasts. 

Sometimes I listen to podcasts by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. 

Click here to find Brooke's podcasts.

She's super positive and has lots of advice for accomplishing the goals and dreams we all have.

After some of those, I click over to the Do It Scared podcast with Ruth Soukup.

 These really resonate with me and I listen to episode after episode, even after I get done walking. 

I've listened to quite a few this week as I've sat at my desk and thought about how I ought to be writing. 

Sure, the podcasts are inspiring. I've jotted down thoughts and ideas to spur me on toward my goals. I've listened as super-successful Ruth and her guests who have accomplished amazing things all admit that they are often scared, but they do it anyway.

I don't like to hear that, to be honest.

I'd like to think that once you become successful and accomplished at something, those scared feelings go away. To a certain extent, that may be true. When you do something over and over again, it gets easier, less scary. But Ruth and her guests all said that as they learned to do something and started out, they were scared.

I'm scared. Scared to write a book proposal. Scared to update my website. Scared to get to know new people. Scared to do lots of things.

And so I buffer (as Brooke Castillo would say). I grab a snack from the freezer or cupboard. I grab the ipad and play some games. I stare into space and worry about why I'm not getting anything done. I watch funny cat videos on YouTube. 

None of that gets me any closer to my dreams.

I have to do it scared. 

I have to break my goals into bite-sized pieces and work on completing them instead of buffering.

Maybe you have something you've been putting off because you're just so scared of the unknown. Write it down. Stare at that goal or dream. Write down some steps you can take to get a little closer to completing it. Put those steps on your calendar. Talk to a friend and ask her to check and see if you've done something to get you closer to your goal by the next time you talk.

I'm going to tell all of you a couple of steps I plan to take this week. 

I'm going to work on updating my website (at least the first page). You can hop over to robynmulder.com and check it out this weekend so you can see how much it changes by next Friday. Feel free to email if you have any comments or suggestions for content. (Are moms even angry anymore? I started the website back in 1997 - maybe I need to drop that tagline)

(Here's what my first page looks like today)

I'm also going to start working on a book proposal for the book about depression that has been in my head and on my heart for years now. I don't know how long that will take, so I'm going to schedule three hours for it into my week and see how far that gets me.

What are you going to do? Are you afraid? Let's do it anyway. 

Let's do it scared.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 NIV)

Are there things you've been putting off because you're afraid? How can focusing on God help you to do it scared?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Empty Nests

Well, it has finally happened. Our nest is empty. We dropped Dylan off at Northwestern College in Orange City today.

 In the days leading up to this special occasion, we talked and teased at home. 

"Are you going to cry when you drop me off?" he asked more than once. 

"Do you want me to?" I replied with a grin. "I don't think I will, but I can try to muster up a few tears if you want."

I wasn't really sure what would happen, to be honest. I didn't feel like crying at home, but I didn't know if it would hit me all of a sudden when we got to the dorm or after we headed for home.

I haven't shed any tears, but it has been a bittersweet experience. 

The last time we move a child into a college dorm for their freshman year. (We've done it three times before this)

The last time we sit through the new student orientation stuff.

The last time we meet a new roommate.

Dylan and his new roommate, Tanner

It's the last time for us, but I have to keep reminding myself that it's the first time for Dylan. For all of it.

I'm not crying (at least not yet) because I'm excited for all of the things he's going to learn and experience in college.

As I wander around campus, I remember how insecure and shy I was my freshman year. Northwestern played a big part in helping me mature socially, academically, and spiritually.

This week I've been thinking of all of the things I neglected to teach Dylan over the years. So many things! But then I remember that he has Google, and he'll be fine.

When we get back home it may hit me a little harder that all of the kids are gone. Gary and I are still adjusting to a new home, church, and community in Platte, and now we have to adjust to an empty nest as well.

I'm still not crying (at least not yet). We've developed a great relationship over the years and I think it can only get better with a little more time for just the two of us.

I'm praying for Dylan and for us during this time of transition...and I'm also saying a prayer for all the other parents adjusting to empty nests.

It can be a bit scary, but it's supposed to happen. It's what we hopefully want for our kids, the confidence and courage to leave the nest, spread their wings, and fly to new places.

I heard a speaker (I think it was Jill Savage) talk about how "first we hold, and then we fold." First we hold our newborn babies, our young children. Then, when they get old enough to go out on their own, we fold our hands in prayer for them.

I did lots of holding when our four children were young. Now it's time to do lots of folding as I pray often for each of them.

That should give me something useful to do as I get used to the empty nest. 

"Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)

Do you have an empty nest? How can focusing on God help you to adjust well to this big transition?

                                                                                                                                                                 

It's much easier to leave Dylan at Northwestern when Blake is there, too!

Blake is a Senior this year - and they're both in Hospers Hall.

Splendid Sunday: Let's Focus on Moving

We're barely settled in Platte, but it's time to focus on moving again for a couple of weeks.

On Friday and Saturday, Gary and I helped our daughter Allison move from one third-floor apartment to another third-floor apartment across town in Lincoln, Nebraska.

She has some unpacking to do!

Our other daughter Erin let Allison live with her for the summer, but she strongly encouraged her to find her own place once she got established in a new job.

She did that (the job and the apartment), so we took some furniture down that she had stored here, then helped get her stuff out of Erin's apartment and into her new place. 

Allison and Erin, in Allison's new apartment.

This week Friday we'll load up the trailer again and help Dylan move into Hospers Hall at Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa. He won't have nearly as many things to move as Allison did, and he's only on the second floor, so it should be a bit easier.

All of this moving has me thinking.

Thinking about all of the things we have and that we lug around from place to place.

Thinking about how quickly the years fly by and we have to help our children move into apartments and dorms.

Thinking about how out of shape I am as I huff my way up another flight of stairs.

Thinking about how important it is to keep moving as we go through life.

Whether it's moving to a new city, moving to a new school or job opportunity, moving our bodies to get in better shape, or moving the stuff we no longer use or need to the nearest Goodwill store, we need to keep moving.

If we stay in one place and never take advantage of educational opportunities or a chance to work somewhere new, we can limit ourselves and never realize our full potential. (I realize there are exceptions to this, but not for the majority of people.)

If we never move our bodies, we lose muscle mass and probably take on extra pounds, gradually losing our mobility and the freedom to enjoy the world around us.

If we never move our belongings, they'll eventually pile up around us, hindering our freedom to move around our homes and share life with those we love. 

It's always most comfortable to stay put, to not risk, to not let go of what we know.

Friends, we can't be content with comfortable. Eventually, comfortable becomes stifling, constricting, boring, unhealthy. Then, we must move.

God will prompt us. He'll show us how and He'll tell us when. Let's just hope it's not to a third-floor apartment on one of the hottest days of the summer.

"The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger." (Job 17:9 NLT)

Have you become comfortable? How can focusing on God help you to know when and how to move?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Making Progress

This has been a productive week.

I've been going through old files and getting rid of papers I don't need anymore (I probably never did, but, you know, I filed them "just in case").

I'm close to completing a big editing project for an author I've worked with before.

I've been taking long walks most mornings and lifting some weights to get my body in better shape.

I've mailed out some things that had been sitting around for way too long (procrastination plagues me).

It feels good to make progress.

It doesn't feel so good to stay stuck in procrastination, laziness, and uncertainty. Those things inevitably lead to frustration as deadlines are missed, papers pile up, and projects remain incomplete.

Even a tiny bit of progress can bring joy and inspire us to keep going. 

Remember the cross stitch project I showed you back in 2014? I talked about enjoying the process and talked about finishing the project my grandma gave me. Here's what it looked like back then:

(A small section with lots of stitches missing)

Well, of course, life got in the way and I still haven't finished that project, but recently I pulled it out and started to spend a few minutes here and there on it. Here's where it is now:

(The box is filled and a pair of shoes has appeared)

Seeing this bit of progress reminds me that I can get it done someday if I just keep working at it. Even a few minutes every few days will get me closer to completion.

I've been pondering this idea often in the last couple of weeks. 

Moving ahead.
Working hard.
Doing something right away instead of setting it aside and forgetting about it.
"Progress, not perfection." (A quote I love, author unknown)

Making progress is important in our homes and in our jobs, but it is even more important spiritually.

It's too easy to stay stuck and frustrated because we don't want to spend any time talking to God about what's going on in our hearts. Sometimes we think it's just too hard to improve, so we don't even want to try. 

Instead, we need to focus on making progress. Moving ahead even a tiny bit can give us the encouragement we need to keep going and not give up. As we work hard on taking our thoughts captive and building our spiritual muscles, we'll make even more progress spiritually. "Progress, not perfection."

Let's do whatever it takes to keep making progress.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." (Philippians 3:12 NIV)

Do you ever feel stuck, physically or spiritually? How can focusing on God help you to work hard and make progress in your home, at your job, and in your heart?