Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Recommitment

We're at the end of another year.

It's time to look back at what we've done in the past year and look ahead at what we want to accomplish in the year ahead.

It's exciting...and scary.

It's exciting because we think about all of the possibilities for what we may be able to do next year. The sky's the limit, right?

It's scary because we know that we've felt that way in years past and our dreams or goals didn't turn out the way we hoped. Soon after the new year we got tired of the hard work or the uncertainty and we dropped back into status quo, the known, the comfortable.

I just want to encourage you as you think about the year ahead. Make big goals. Dream of doing something amazing and then write down some plans for how you're going to get there.

When something happens that throws you off course, don't despair and give up on whatever it is. Take a good look at what went wrong and then recommit.

A while back I told you about changing one little thing and how it helped me get out of bed when the alarm went off. Well, the last couple of mornings I somehow managed to s-t-r-e-t-c-h over and shut the alarm off without rolling out of bed. I slept a little more, but then I stayed in bed way too long, just chasing thoughts around in my head about things I dreaded doing, problems I wanted fixed, and the sadness of friends who had lost loved ones recently.

Lying there did nothing to help myself or anyone else. It just wasted a couple of hours in the day when I could have been getting something done, making plans to fix a problem, or reaching out to grieving friends.

I cannot give up on getting out of bed at a decent time. Instead, I need to recommit. I need to remember why I want to get up and get a good start on my day, and then I need to do it. I need to recommit.

Let's all plan to do that as we go into 2019.

When we start off strong and then falter. Recommit.

When we get discouraged because we're not reaching our goals fast enough. Recommit.

When we are tempted to ignore God and everything that will strengthen our relationship with Him. Recommit.

We don't have to wait until next January 1 if we get off track with our dreams and goals. We can choose recommitment the moment we realize we're wavering. It might have to happen weekly, or daily, or even hourly, but making that decision to recommit will make all the difference as we move forward.

Happy New Year, everyone!

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." (Psalm 37:5-6 NIV)

Do you get discouraged when you see yourself failing at times? How can focusing on God help you to recommit and move ahead?  

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Reruns

Do you like reruns?

We usually like new things better than a repeat of something we've seen or done before, but there is value in reruns.

Reruns can show us something we missed when we saw it the first time.

Reruns can introduce someone to something they weren't even around to enjoy the first time it was produced.

Reruns can seem brand new when you get old enough to forget the first time you saw it. (We've been watching some of the Marvel movies recently and I'm amazed at how often I don't know what's going to happen next, even though I know we've watched the movie before.)

So I'm going to do a sort of "rerun" for my blog post this week. 

If you're feeling like me, you're maybe a bit stressed about all that has to get done before Christmas arrives on Tuesday.

Last Sunday I sang my "It Is Well" Christmas Stress Song in church. I wrote it for Gary five years ago and he asked me to sing it for our new congregation. 

It's a good reminder for all of us as we prepare for that special day. Gifts, cards, and meals are all good, but the most important thing to focus on is Jesus. Keeping him first in our minds and hearts can help us put things in perspective and bring a little more peace into our lives during this busy time.

I'll keep this short for those of you that have heard me sing it recently, but I'll print the words below and include a link so you can see me when I sang it for the first time back in Allison, Iowa in 2013.

Merry Christmas to you all!

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6 NIV)

Are you stressed out about Christmas? How can focusing on God help you to feel more peace in the days ahead?

"It Is Well" Christmas Stress Song (by Robyn Mulder)

When peace like a river attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

"It is well, it is well with my soul"

It is well (it is well), with my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well with my soul

(to the tune of "Good Christian Men, Rejoice")

Christmas is almost here

I tremble with great fear

Cards aren't mailed and gifts aren't wrapped

I think I'll have a heart attack

Have to make that great big meal

And stress and strain are all I feel

I can hardly say... I can hardly say...

It is well, it is well with my soul

I have to change my attitude

Change it to one of gratitude

Set aside the things undone

And focus on the only one

Jesus Christ the newborn king

Is more than all these other things

I can almost say...  I can almost say...

It is well, it is well with my soul

I think my Christmas joy will start

I feel a peace within my heart

Gifts and food are good to give

But this is how we really live

Giving thanks for everything

Now my heart can truly sing

Christ is born today...  Christ is born today

(to the tune of "It is Well with My Soul")

When Christmas is coming and my stress level climbs

Let this be the thought that controls

The babe in the manger was born for these times

And his life was lived here for our souls

It is well (it is well), with my soul (with my soul)

It is well, it is well with my soul

*Here's a link to the song on Youtube.

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Taking Things for Granted

Sometimes things happen that remind us of how much we take for granted in this life.

Yesterday I had a little pain when I put my contacts in. I blinked a bit and it seemed to get better. I didn't really notice much during the day, but last night we went to see a play at the elementary school.

The spotlights were on the fourth graders with speaking parts, but they would turn on the main lights when the younger grades would join them for many of the songs.

Every time those lights went on I would wince and felt pain in my right eye. When I got home I took my contacts out immediately and used my glasses instead. My eye was red and sore and it started to water as the night went on.

I went to bed, hoping it would be better in the morning, but no such luck. It was still red and sore, and began to water even more. I couldn't enjoy the sunny day because every time I got close to a window I had so much pain.

I finally called for an appointment with an eye doctor.

In the hours before I went in, my mind wandered a little into "What if?"

What if this is something serious and I lose my eyesight?

What if I couldn't see? How would I live? How would I write?

I knew it was possible. Many people live amazing, fulfilling lives even though they can't see. 

My mind went back to the movie "At First Sight," based on a true story about a man who had surgery to gain his sight. It's not the greatest movie, but I remembered how touched I was by a scene when Val Kilmer knows he is going to lose his sight again, so he goes to the library and pores over the National Geographic Magazines, seeing as much of the world as he can before he goes back to living without sight.

It just about made me cry, because I realized how much there is to see in this world, and how much I take my sight for granted.

The eye doctor prescribed me some antibiotics and steroids, so I should be fine, but I take lots of things for granted.

I can walk, talk, see, think, sing, read, write, work, play, eat, and drink.

Some people can't do some of those things. Some people can't do any of those things. Their abilities have been taken away by illness or an accident.

We need to work hard on not taking anything for granted, because we don't know when we may lose it.

We also need to try not to take anyone for granted, because we don't know when we may lose them.

God is always there for us. He's always with us, so we can go on even if we lose our physical abilities or if we lose a loved one. 

But until that happens, let's live thankful lives, not taking anything or anyone for granted.

"Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted." (Ecclesiastes 11:7 The Message)

Do you take things for granted? How can focusing on God help you to live each day, thankful for your abilities and the people God has put in your life?

Spectacular Sunday: Let's Focus on Shaking Off Rejection

Image: DogWater 

I don't like rejection. I never have. In fact, I have gone to great lengths over the years to ensure that people don't reject me.

I have said certain things to please some people.

I have not said certain things to please other people.

The slightest hint of rejection (some of it even imagined, I'm sure) used to send me reeling as I tried to figure out what I had done to offend someone and what I could do to fix it.

I thought I had made some progress in this area in recent years, but then I met Amy.

Gary and I stopped to visit his mom at assisted living one afternoon. She was in the dining room with a group of ladies, playing cards. We stood and watched them play for a couple of minutes, and then I noticed a furry face next to the lady helping them play. She had brought her dog with her.

I locked eyes with the big animal and smiled.

The dog stared back and then moved a bit.

I made a comment about how much I love dogs, and then I moved around the table toward it.

The dog darted behind its owner. I dropped to the floor, expecting the dog to come greet me. Instead, the beast braced itself, bared its teeth, and growled menacingly.

"Amy!" its owner scolded. "She just wants to pet you!"

The dog growled again. I'm smart enough to know that Amy did not want to greet me, so I stood up and moved back around the table. 

We kept watching the ladies play cards, and listened to their shocked comments as the cards flew. "Wow, I've never seen her do that before!" "Amy, why did you growl at that lady?"

I may have been imagining it, but I thought I sensed a little suspicion in their glances. What did Amy know about me that they didn't?

The hand was soon over and we went to the room with Gary's mom. I joked about feeling rejected as we walked. Part of me wanted to go back and talk to Amy's owner and pet that dog, but I let it go.

Sure, rejection stung, but I also realized that I've come a long way in recent years. Whereas before I might have thought "What's wrong with me?" when something like this happened, this time I thought, "What the heck is wrong with Amy?"

I was able to shake off rejection quite easily because I was more secure in my sense of self-worth. I know I'm a person that loves animals, so I could shake off Amy's rejection as silly and unfounded.

If only it were that easy to shake off rejection when it comes from our fellow humans. For some reason, when another human rejects us, we sometimes take on that feeling of unworthiness and shame, even when it's silly and unfounded.

We have to be willing to look at ourselves honestly and make some changes if needed, but often the problem is more with the other person than with us.

When we're secure in our worth, it's easier to shake off rejection. 

Jesus Christ died for us. He endured a shameful, painful death on a cross to pay for our sins. Just accepting and believing that can increase our sense of self-worth.

We realize that we are incredibly valuable and we are enough, no matter what anyone says.

You hear that, Amy?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16 NIV)

Do you take rejection personally? How can focusing on God help you to shake it off and remember your true worth?  

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on the Victory of Admitting Defeat

I attempted NaNoWriMo this month. Writing 50,000 words in the month of November is no small task. It's only 1,667 words per day, but when you skip a few days here and there and get behind it gets a little tricky.

I let that happen this year.

I wrote 20,000 words in one day a few years ago, so I think I was subconsciously planning to pull another one of those and win the thing in spite of getting behind.

Yesterday I wrote 4,519 words and got up to 34,018 by bedtime. I knew I would need to write 15,982 words today, but I figured I could do it, no problem.

But I still exercised this morning. I wrote a few thousand words. And then I went along with Gary to go out for lunch and visit someone this afternoon. I wrote a little more. And then we had Christmas program practice. I got home at six and considered attempting nonstop typing to get done, but I had a moment of clarity and decided to let it go this year. 

Instead, Gary and I went and enjoyed "The Grinch" at our local theater. We got home at nine and then I really accepted this year's loss. There was no way I could possibly finish by midnight.

 But even before we left to see the movie, I realized something. I think I just might be maturing.

In years past, I would have spent hours typing lots of nonsense just to get to the 50,000 words. I would have gotten upset if I had been interrupted, and I never would have spent time with my husband instead of reaching the goal.

So I'm declaring this year a victory!

The victory of admitting defeat.

We all have to do that sometimes. Maybe for you it isn't with writing. 

Maybe for you it's with some other project you hoped to have completed by a certain date.

Maybe for you it's with a relationship that you hoped to restore to what it was like years ago.

Maybe for you it's with getting physically fit. You skip exercising every once in a while or you keep overeating even though you know it's bad for you.

You have to admit defeat.

But can you admit that with a mature attitude instead of getting upset and pouting about it?

Can you see the strides you made while you worked on that project, that relationship, that exercise program?

Can you look at things objectively and make plans to take steps to finish your project even though it wasn't according to your original timetable?

Can you do something to improve that relationship just a little bit, or make the decision to let it go if necessary?

Can you renew your commitment to exercise a little more and eat a little healthier, knowing that those things will move you toward better health and fitness?

When we are mature, we'll admit when something isn't working and we'll change what we're doing so that we reach our goals and live a good life. (Maybe we'll even write 50,000 words earlier in the month instead of leaving it until the last few days of NaNoWriMo)

"Brothers and sisters, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults." (1 Corinthians 14:20 NIV)

Are you able to admit defeat? How can focusing on God help you to do that with a mature attitude and move on from there?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Thanks

I feel like keeping this week's post short and sweet.

We've just celebrated Thanksgiving and now we almost feel forced into the Christmas season with Black Friday sales and Christmas carols on the radio.

Maybe we need to linger a bit longer in that attitude of thanksgiving. In that vein, I thought I'd list a few things I'm thankful for here, and I invite you to share some of your own in the comments (or at least ponder them in your own heart for a while).

I'm thankful for:

God (who provided His love and all of the other people and things on this list)

My family (Gary and our children, but also each one of our extended family members)

Friends (I often say that I can't imagine my life without each person God has brought into our lives as we've moved over the years)

This beautiful world (We love to travel and explore its many wonders)

(taken this October in Canada)

The hardships I've had to go through (Yes, I'm even thankful for those times, because they helped shape me into who I am today)

The future (With all of its many possibilities and surprises)

It's good for our mental health to practice gratitude, so let's not forget to do that each and every day.

So grateful for each of you, ~Robyn

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." (Psalm 107:1 NIV)

Are you thankful for everything in your life? How can focusing on God help you to be grateful every day?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on One Little Thing

I had trouble getting out of bed for a few months.

I would set the alarm for 6:30 every night, but when it rang in the morning I would reach over, shut it off, and remain in bed.

On a good day I would get up after a little while, by 6:45 or so.

On a "bad day" I would lie there, sleeping off and on until 8 or even 9:00. It wasn't that I was super tired. I got to bed at a reasonable time. I didn't feel especially depressed, but I just couldn't seem to get up. 

I tried to figure out if I was dreading something and how I could change my thoughts so I was more excited about getting up.

I gave myself stern pep talks the night before about how important it was to get out of bed and get the day started.

Nothing worked. My rising time was still sporadic and I felt like a failure because I couldn't seem to do what I said I wanted to do.

Finally, I changed one little thing and I have rolled out of bed for ten days straight at 6:30 a.m.

I moved my alarm clock to the far side of my bedside table.

Just that two feet change caused me to move enough so that I've gotten up every single day. I can't just reach out and turn off the alarm anymore. I have to stretch over and my feet touch the floor and I'm up.

I started thinking about other situations that might be changed by one little thing.

You don't read your Bible as often as you say you want to? Put it beside your place at the breakfast table or on the kitchen counter so you can open it and read a few verses as you eat or while you're waiting for something to cook. One little thing.

You feel like your relationship with a parent or a child or a sibling isn't as close as you'd like? Make a note on the calendar to call that person once a week instead of waiting until you think of it. One little thing.

You're tired of the clutter getting in your way in your home? Fill a box with items you no longer need or use and put it in the car so you can drop it off at Goodwill the next time you go that way. One little thing.

You never seem to get any closer to accomplishing your dreams or goals? Write down as much as you can about all of the steps necessary to complete the project and then write the first small step on your calendar. One little thing.

As we keep doing one little thing at a time, those little things will add up and soon we'll be in the habit of getting up on time, reading our bible regularly, having great relationships, keeping our lives free of clutter, and accomplishing our goals.

It all starts with one little thing.

"Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.[One little thing that led to the man's healing]" (John 5:8 NIV - brackets mine)

Do you have problems or frustrations that keep you stuck? How can focusing on God help you find one little thing you can do to get unstuck?

Super Saturday: Let's Focus on Fear

My mom had an encounter with a black bear recently.

Oh, don't worry. She's okay, but it got me thinking about fear this week.

Mom and Dad were watching TV one night in their house in the middle of the woods in Tennessee.

"John, there's something on the deck!"

Dad got up and turned on the outside light, only to reveal a 150-pound black bear helping himself to the goodies in their bird feeder.

While Dad ran to get the camera, Mom walked up to the patio door and knocked loudly. "Hey, get out of there!" she scolded. 

Why not? It always worked for the squirrels and raccoons that tried to steal from their feeder.

The bear turned and looked at her, then went headfirst over the deck railing. He was in no hurry at all, but he left.

Mom and I laughed about this as we talked on the phone, but it could have ended much differently.

At the time, Dad pointed out that the bear easily could have stuck a furry paw through the patio door. Luckily, that didn't happen.

I've chuckled a few times as I've thought about my fearless mother shooing a big black bear away. I tend to think that she might have reacted a bit differently if my dad had not been there. I wonder if his presence gave her more courage in that scary situation.

Now, I'm not in any way trying to compare my dear father to God, but I can't help but think about each of us and the fears we face each day. 

Illness.

Frustrations at work.

Relationship problems.

Our own shortcomings.

Death.

There are big, scary things out there, and on our own we might be terrified.

When we remember that God is with us, we find the courage we need to face all of our fears.

They might not go away as quickly as my mom's black bear, but we can give it a shot.

"Hey, get out of here!"

And even if the problem doesn't go away, we have God right beside us while we watch what happens.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." (Psalm 56:3 NIV)

Are you often afraid? How can remembering that God is with you help you to face those fears with more courage?

*Note: The bear in my blog graphic above is not my mom's black bear. He left before Dad could get a picture.

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Throwing Things Away

 

I've been doing quite a bit of writing this week, but I've also been throwing things away.

It feels great.

I've been spending some time in my craft room, going through the drawers and boxes. I have lots of great stuff, but I've also found many things to throw away.

Dried up bottles of paint. A gaudy purple trim I'll never use. Little scraps of paper I don't need. Ugly things. Broken things. 

I found a box of old letters in the craft room, so I took it upstairs to go through and try to combine with a box of old journals.

It was interesting to see what I had saved for so many years. 

Some things were precious (love letters Gary and I had exchanged while dating, cards and letters from special friends and relatives, notes about cute things our kids had done). I stuffed those into the journal box.

Other things, not so precious. 

Old birthday cards, nice at the time, but not really needed anymore. 

Wedding invitations and programs from people I hardly remembered. 

A letter from a high school friend, confirming his crush on me and wondering if it might even be love, sent to me during my freshman year of college (It was sweet at the time, but I don't need my kids finding that someday and wondering if I carried a torch for that guy for all these years! Definitely not, so it was time to throw it out). 

You know it was in the olden days because postage was only 20 cents!

Throwing things away. It feels good to clear out the clutter, free up some space, and let go of things that no longer mean anything to us.

We need to do that with our thoughts, too. We have many wonderful memories and thoughts in our brains, but there's a lot of junk in there, too.

Every once in a while we need to throw away the negative thoughts cluttering up our minds. 

Even better, we need to catch our thoughts as soon as they enter our brains and work on getting rid of the junky things we think.

I found an interesting article that talks about actually writing down our thoughts and physically throwing them away. It made a difference in how people felt. Conversely, if people wrote down thoughts (positive or negative) and put the paper in their wallet or purse, they were more likely to hold onto those thoughts.

So friends, let's think more about throwing things away. Let's throw away the physical clutter and junk getting in our way and distracting us in our homes, but even more so the mental junk and clutter fogging up our minds and getting in the way of living the life God wants for us.

When we "throw away" all of those negative thoughts and attitudes, our minds will be clearer and we'll find the space we need to experience God's peace, enjoy our relationships with others, and do the things we've been put on this earth to do.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off [throw away] your old self, which is being corrupted by its evil desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:22 NIV - brackets mine)

How much clutter do you have in your life (physically and mentally)? How can focusing on God help you to throw most of it away and enjoy life more?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Consuming

When we get overwhelmed, stressed, or scared, it's easy to turn to consuming instead of producing.

Just look at the graphic I made for this week's post. Some people spend lots of time on the computer or phone, researching new ideas or escaping into movies or cat videos. Some people keep reading book after book after book instead of writing their own (ahem...moving on). Some people eat when they're not hungry just to dull the pain of whatever is stressing them out. Some people drink too much so they can forget whatever is bothering them (probably something a little harder than Pepsi, but that's all we have).

Consuming.

Do you ever do that? I sure do.

None of the things in the picture above are bad things when they are used or consumed in moderation. They only become bad when we consume them in excess to avoid something productive.

I'm still figuring out how to push through the uncertainty I feel and get something done (producing) instead of running to the computer or the pantry or the fridge (consuming).

Being aware is one of the first steps, but that doesn't make it easy. It takes lots of practice to get into new habits that will lead us to more productive choices.

I think reading the Bible is also important (and the only thing that we can never consume too much of). Knowing what the Bible says will give us encouragement and strength for making those tough choices to do our work instead of consuming, to stay away from too much food or drink instead of consuming, to invest in our relationships instead of consuming. 

With time and effort, we can get better at producing.

We'll enjoy better relationships, cleaner houses, healthier bodies, and the satisfaction of a job well done.

And then we can reward ourselves with a hilarious cat video.

Click here to watch a funny cat video.

"Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." (Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV)

Are you stuck in too much consuming? How can focusing on God help you to form better habits and become someone who produces instead?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Vacations

Have you ever felt too stressed to go on vacation?

That's how I felt a little over a week ago. We were frantically trying to cover our responsibilities while we would be gone, thinking about where we would go, and making plans for everything we would have waiting for us when we got back home. Plus we still had to pack!

"Maybe we should just stay home and do it some other time," I suggested to my hubby.

He reassured me that it would all work out fine and we continued packing and planning.

When we left on a Wednesday morning, we were a bit tense as we tried to get ahead of some bad weather (and went back home for something I forgot).

As each day passed, we felt more and more free. Putting miles between ourselves and our daily routines was good for us. 

We marveled at the beautiful fall colors along the way.

The foliage was beautiful throughout our trip!

We got out and explored new places.

We talked about things we didn't have time to discuss at home.

We laughed as a bald eagle came incredibly close to depositing the carcass of some dead animal on our windshield (it dropped in front of the car instead). 

I'm glad we didn't put this vacation off.

I could really feel a difference in how relaxed I was, so I've been pondering how to experience that even in the midst of my regular schedule back at home.

It takes effort, I think. 

If we're not careful, the cares and concerns of life can pile up in our hearts and minds, leaving us with way too much stress.

Making a conscious decision to let that worry and stress go can help us feel better even when we can't physically get away.

It's hard, especially for some of us that are prone to think too much and ruminate on negative things.

Maybe we need to take mini-vacations when the stress starts to get to us. 

Get out the photo albums (or go to your computer) and look through pictures of past vacations and relive some of those relaxing moments. 

Make a list of things you can do for 10 or 15 minutes that might bring you a little joy before you get back to your responsibilities (paint a picture, read, play an instrument, take a bath, call a friend). Post the list somewhere handy and go to it when life gets to be too much.

Sit in a comfortable place and talk to God for a few minutes when you feel lots of worry or stress. After you talk, take some time to listen. God may give you some ideas that will help you feel better.

And when you can, take an actual vacation. It's worth the stress of planning and packing when you get to your destination and feel the wonder and joy of new (or familiar) places.

I'll end with just a sampling of the places and things we've seen so far on this vacation: 

The path to Bar Island at low tide (Bar Harbor, Maine)

Later in the day...what path to Bar Island?

Hopewell Rocks, Bay of Fundy (New Brunswick, Canada)

 

Sunset at Peggy's Cove (Near Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada)

Moose along Cabot Trail on Cape Breton Island (Nova Scotia, Canada)

Cavendish Cliffs on Prince Edward Island

 We're heading toward home tomorrow, but we still have a few more days to enjoy this vacation. I plan to make the most of it. Who knows what we'll see?

 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

Do you take time for vacations? How can focusing on God help you to let go of your worries and concerns, even when you can't actually get away?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Mental Health

Sometimes I wonder if my readers get sick of hearing about mental health from me.

I'm focusing on it again because October 7-13 is Mental Health Awareness Week.

I hope you'll stick with me for a few minutes and think about this important topic.

Even if you have never been diagnosed with a mental illness, your mental health is worth contemplating. 

When our brains are functioning well, our mental health is good and life is manageable and satisfying. When we have problems in the ways our brains function, life can rapidly deteriorate into something overwhelming and hopeless.

So it's good for all of us to think about mental health this week.

If you have good mental health, thank the Lord for that.

If you are struggling, ask for help. You don't have to go for years and years feeling bad and missing out on the happiness that's possible.

If you love or know someone with a mental health challenge, try to be supportive and understanding. Learn all you can about their illness and don't expect them to just "snap out of it." But you can't let them wallow in their illness, either. It's tough to find that balance, but you need to do it.

If all of us work on having good mental health and get more comfortable talking about it, the world can be a better place.

People will be more aware of how their brains function and they'll take steps to get healthy as soon as they notice any movement toward a downward spiral. 

People won't hide their feelings and stubbornly keep their "happy masks" on. They'll drop their guard and get support when they need it.

People won't ignore the symptoms they see in a friend or loved one's life. They'll ask questions and help get that person back to a healthier place.

Thanks for reading, everyone, and I pray that all of you do all that you can to enjoy good mental health.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27 NIV)

Do you struggle with a mental health diagnosis? Do you know someone who does? How can focusing on God help you (or that person) get to a healthy place again?

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on What We're Thinking

Have you ever noticed that when you focus on something, you seem to see it show up everywhere?

It's often that way for me. I become aware of a certain idea or concept and suddenly I see it on TV, read about it in books, and hear people talking about it randomly.

This time it's the idea that our thoughts create our moods.

In recent months I had been introduced to that idea on The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo. It was kind of a hard concept to accept, but as she talked about it over and over I began to understand what she was saying and I could see it happening in my own life.

We don't just get angry or sad or happy automatically when something happens. How we feel is determined by what we're thinking about the situation.

That's why the exact same situation (like getting cut off in traffic) can make us furious one day (That jerk! He saw me but he just pulled right in front of me!) and on another day it might not upset us at all (Okay, he's sure in a hurry. I guess he didn't see me!).

I bought several books on depression recently (for research) and I cracked open Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns a couple of days ago. Imagine my surprise when one of the first thoughts in the book was this: "You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment."

When someone is depressed, they nearly always have distorted thoughts. It's been fascinating to read about those thoughts and recognize the ones that I tend to think often. I've improved so much in recent years, but I still have some work to do to combat that distorted thinking.

Maybe you're not depressed, but I hope you can see how your thoughts influence your entire life. If you're focused on the negatives (about yourself or others) then you're not going to be much fun to be around. If you're focused, instead, on the positives then you can't help but enjoy life at least a little bit more.

As I've been pondering this idea in recent weeks, I was also reminded that it is a concept mentioned in the Bible. Proverbs 23:7 in the NKJV says, "For as he [or she] thinks in his [or her] heart, so is he [or she].

So, friends, I'll just ask it straight out: What are you thinking? Next time you're extremely upset about something, try to find the troublesome thought that is behind the feeling. By changing that thought you just might be able to change how you're feeling about a situation.

It's not easy, and I'm sure it takes lots of practice. I've built up over fifty years of feeling certain ways without giving much thought to what's going on in my head, but it's time to change that.

I hope it doesn't take me another fifty years to learn to apply all of this! 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8 NIV)

Can you catch the thoughts that lead to bad feelings for you? How can focusing on God help you to replace those with more positive and true thoughts that will improve your mood and your life?