Friday, May 13, 2016

Focus Friday: Let's Focus on Divorce

Divorce upsets me. It's so sad to hear about the end of someone's marriage.
This post is not a rant against divorce. I realize that sometimes it is the only option, especially in situations where one spouse is abused and there is no hope of change. I would never insist that someone stay married no matter what is happening in their life. 

No, this post is more of a warning to the rest of us. I wonder if anyone else gets shook up when they hear about someone else's divorce. Whether it's a family member, friend, or celebrity, divorce always shakes me up. 

Sometimes I'm not surprised because I've seen the warning signs. Other times I'm shocked to the core. Not them! It seemed like they had such a good marriage! It throws me for a loop sometimes and it takes me a while to get over it.

After a recent divorce announcement from a couple I love, I've found myself acting differently at home. I've snapped a little more at my husband. I've been irritated at very little things. I realize I'm doing it, and I know it's wrong, but it seems too hard to stop. I think in some ways I'm kind of pulling back, protecting myself in case something goes wrong with us. I don't want to feel so much pain so I foolishly distance myself from the man I love.

As I've pondered these feelings, I thought of a boat. I found an illustration below that might help us to relate. Maybe when I hear about a divorce and get a little shook up, it's like standing up in a small boat. The center of balance goes haywire and it's much easier for the boat to tip over, especially if both people are standing.

However, if the two people remain seated, the boat is less likely to tip over, even if you move around a little. I've been thinking about that lately. As married couples, we need to stay seated and remain calm, even when we hear about the end of someone else's marriage. We don't know what is going on with other people's relationships, we can only concentrate on our own and do the best we can with it.

Every day we choose to love, and every day we choose not to love. Let's pray for others and make sure we are choosing to do things in our own marriage that will strengthen it and let it grow better every year. Hearing about someone else's divorce doesn't have to rock our marriage boat!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV)

Do you get shook up when you hear about someone else's divorce? How can focusing on God help you to keep your own marriage stable and strong?

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