It's another Sorry Saturday because my hotel internet wasn't working last night and I had to get to bed because of this:Yes, I'm definitely not looking my best right now. My eye was sore earlier this week and when I put my contacts in on Thursday morning it seemed blurry and felt funny. My left eye looked a little bloodshot. So I took the contacts out and drove out to Michigan without them. I had a good visit with our daughter Allison in Chicago and got to Michigan that evening and noticed that my eye was even more red. I went to bed hoping it was just from the long drive and prayed it would be better in the morning.
It was not. It was worse. I called our insurance and the nurse suggested going to urgent care because it sounded like pink eye. I was pretty sure it was contact related and I would end up going to an opthamologist. I talked with Gary and we decided maybe I could wait until I was back in Iowa and could see my doctor there. (Have I lost all of you yet? I'll try to wrap it up for everyone who is hanging with me.) When I called to get an appointment they suggested I see someone here and then follow up with them on Monday. So, I called an office close to my conference. They were full but I could go to Rockford (north of Grand Rapids). I said I would wait.
I thought maybe I'd just wait til Monday and hope it got better. A while later I realized I couldn't wait. It was hurting more and I felt terrible. I called the office back to get the Rockford appointment and they just happened to have a 1:45 at the office right by my conference. Thank you, God! I had to miss a couple of sessions at Breathe, but I'm so glad I went. The doctor found a contact in my left eye! He got it out and gave me some drops to put in.
Whew! Long boring story done! All of that to say that I'm hopefully on the mend and my eye will keep getting better. Before I knew what the problem was, I worried that it may be pink eye and I thought noone would want to be around me. Now that I know what happened I feel a little better, but I'm still very self-conscious about it. When you don't look your best it's hard to feel confident. I wanted to meet lots of people at this writers conference and connect with old friends. I have connected with friends I've met in other years, and that has been great, but I just feel...yuck.
This experience has been challenging me, though. I realize that I have some issues I need to deal with. There are thoughts and feelings that cause infection in my soul, just like the forgotten contact started an infection in my eye. My eye wasn't getting enough air and it wasn't good for it at all. Our souls can get cut off from God's life giving air when we keep things too long, too. We can't just wait and hope things will get better. That doesn't work. We need to get rid of them so the infection can clear.
Grudges. Bitterness. Resentment. Fear. Shame. Rage. A judgmental attitude. Just like I didn't know I had a contact stuck in my eye, sometimes we hardly realize we have these things affecting our souls. We need the Great Physician (God) to point them out and lovingly remove them for us. Then the healing can begin.
"...for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." (Philippians 2:13 NIV)
Do you have an infection? How can focusing on God help you to let Him remove whatever is causing it and start you on the road to healing?