This week I went to see my counselor and toward the end of our time together she said something like this: "You know, I think you're going to be a lot happier when you finally get to the point where you believe you're good enough." That thought has stuck with me in the days since then. That is one of my biggest problems. I can't quite believe that I'm really good enough. I always think I should be better; a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better Christian. I'm never just "good enough."
Please don't misunderstand me. This blog post is not a ploy to get everyone to reassure me that I'm good enough. I realize that most people think I'm more than good enough. They compliment me often and I say thank you, but deep down inside I think I usually disagree with them. I have no problem accepting people as they are, but I don't extend that same grace to myself. So this blog post is for everyone who may also struggle with the disappointment of not being "good enough."
It's good to have goals for ourselves and try to improve if we lack certain skills or have character flaws, but we can't expect perfection. This is a lesson that I keep learning over and over again. Sometimes I get it and I go along happily, accepting myself as I am, but more often I focus on where I fall short and I get upset because I'm not "good enough."
I looked in my concordance and found two full pages with verses containing the word "love" or "loved." As I looked them over I could feel myself starting to really appreciate God's love for me, and I hadn't even looked up any verses yet. When I did look some up, I found some great ones:
Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
John 15:9 - As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.
How do we remain in His love? Psalm 48:9b says, "we meditate on your unfailing love." We think about it often and let God's love wash over us until we really believe that we are loved and we are good enough.
I have heard writer and speaker Susie Larson recommend something that may help us. She says that God prompted her to change "God, I love you so much" to "God, you love me so much." If we keep repeating that to ourselves it just might help us to really believe that we are good enough.
Many of the verses in my concordance said "His love endures forever" and talked about "His unfailing love." That's what all of us want, don't we? God loves us right where we're at, so we really can believe that we are good enough. I'll keep working on that, and I hope you do, too.
Do you have trouble believing that you're "good enough?" Can you meditate on God's love for you and keep doing it until you really believe it?